Beautifully Broken
by NattheBatt
Summary: Sometimes toys break; even your favorite ones. Same thing for people too.
1. Chapter 1

_Sometimes toys break; even your favorite ones. Same thing for people too._

**Disclaimer: I (sadly) do not own Victorious or any of the characters**

Tori's POV

Pancakes. I want pancakes for breakfast. "Pancakes please." I ask my mother, who's standing in front of me, leaning against the counter behind her. A knowing smile graces her face.

"Thought you might say that." She replies with a tone that can only be described as motherly. I just smile at her as she turns around to open the fridge. "Eggs too?" she asks, glancing over her shoulder with that same smile.

"You know me so well." I reply, placing my hands over my heart and looking skyward, as if deeply moved. She grabs the eggs out of the fridge, already moving like a woman with a mission. A mission to make me breakfast. I smile a little at how weird my thoughts are right now.

"Go wake up your sister please." my mother tells me. I just look at her as if she's lost her mind.

"She'll throw something at me again!" I whine, waking up my older sister, being on my list of least favorite things to do.

"Take something to use as a shield. Besides, I said please, as I'm making _your_ breakfast." she states, gesturing to all the cooking items already surrounding her. I duck my head in defeat, turning towards the stairs I make a big show about having to do this. I might even say my dramatic antics rival Trina's... Ha, nope, not even close. I take a deep breath before I open the door to her room.

/line break/

"I don't care! Apologize to your sister!" my mother yells to Trina in the living room. I have to resist the urge to roll my eyes, holding a bag of ice to my head, where a considerable sized lump is now forming.

"She shouldn't have interrupted my beauty sleep!" Trina whines, flailing her arms out, as if fate has personally victimized her.

"Mom, it's fine, just, please quit yelling." I interrupt, wanting the loud noises to stop because they were really not helping my forming migraine. She just sighs and shakes her head as Trina inspects her nails.

"Trina, apologize, or you're grounded." Mom continued, albeit in a normal tone.

"I didn't do anything though!" Trina yells, apparently not getting the hint to quiet down. I just huff slightly and start to eat again. Man, Mom knows how to make some good breakfast. "Ugh! Tori I'm sorry you scared me, causing me to hit you in self defense." Trina says, rolling her eyes at me while crossing her arms.

"Yeah, uh, apology accepted." I say, trying to keep the anger out of my voice. She hits me in the head, and she can't even apologize? Bitch. My mother just rolls her eyes at Trina's act as my sister stomps up the stairs. She walks over to me and gently removes the bag from my head as she presses her hand to my head slightly.

"Ow, looks like it hurts Kiddo." she says, gently rubbing her hand on my head.

"Kinda yeah." I simply reply, not really knowing what to say to that.

"Will you be okay by yourself?" she suddenly asks.

"Yeah, are Trina and you going somewhere?" I ask, not knowing that they had made plans.

"Well I'm going out, and I don't expect Trina to be a very good care taker for you." she replies, moving away to grab her purse and keys that are sitting on the counter top.

"Yeah, I'll be fine." I say, not really paying too much attention to our conversation anymore. Mom's been out of the house more often than not lately. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, just, she used to be home so much that it was almost a guarantee that you'd see her. Now though, I'm lucky if she's home at all, but every time I see her, she seems normal, so I don't think to say anything. She's a grown woman who can do whatever she pleases I guess. Oh well.

I look down at my plate and notice all of my food is gone. I also notice that my mother is gone too. "Guess I ate on auto pilot" I voice my thought aloud. My head's not hurting so bad either, pancakes are magical apparently. Since I just have one plate I wash it by hand before I head up stairs to my room.

I stand in my doorway momentarily before I decide I want a shower. I'm stripping off all my clothing quickly, suddenly urgently needing the feeling of the water's embrace. I shudder as the warmth hits me. As I'm standing in the shower, letting the hot water soothe me, I can't help but notice the nagging feeling deep in my stomach that today's not going to be a good day.


	2. Chapter 2

_Sometimes toys break; even your favorite ones. Same thing for people too. _

_**Disclaimer: I still don't own Victorious or any of the characters.**_

A/N: Thoughts are from now on going to be written _italicized. _Also, this chapter is quite longer than the previous one, so sorry, and I may or may not change the rating from T to M if not only for the language I feel would be more appropriate for this story. Don't forget to review and hope y'all like this! :)

Jade's POV

"What? What are you saying?" I ask, feeling the corner of my eyes beginning to sting. I stare at Beck's face as he casts his eyes down while grabbing the back of his neck with one hand. "Beck, what do you mean?" I ask, wanting to know why he was doing this.

"I- I don't know what you want me to say Jade." He says, looking up at me as if he were genuinely sorry this was happening. I just scoff and shake my head, crossing my arms.

"Oh I don't know, how about, 'Jade, I don't mean it. I was just joking, but man you should've seen the look on your face.' and then you hug me and then we leave. Yeah, that sounds good." I reply, trying to hide my hurt behind sarcasm.

"But I do mean it Jade… I just-" he stops as he inhales deeply, pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and finger. I begin to tap my foot impatiently, wanting to get over this ridiculous fight and go back home so we can cuddle up together on my couch and watch TV together as his rising and falling chest rocks me to sleep. "I can't keep dating you Jadelyn, I-" He exhales harshly, closing his eyes. Suddenly the ground looks very interesting, or the passing cars, or the movie theatre behind Beck which we just came from, anywhere besides where Beck's standing is very interesting now. I inhale a shaky breathe.

"Why?" I curse at myself because of how vulnerable my voice sounds. He looks up from the ground, and looks at me with sad eyes. _Why the hell is he sad? He's the one who's causing this._ He takes a step towards me, reaching out to gently touch my shoulder. I let my arms fall to my side as I search his eyes for the answer I so desperately want to know. "What's changed Beck? Don't you still love me?" I ask, casting my eyes downward, suddenly aware of how cold it is. I shiver slightly as my eyes fill with tears as I realize this is really happening. I look up at him as he looks at me with hurt in his eyes.

"Jade, of course I love you. How could you think that I would ever **not **love you?" He asks, grabbing my other shoulder, forcing my to face him. "It's just-" He lets go of one of my shoulders so that he can run a hand over his face. "Jade I-" he starts, but I don't let him finish.

"There's someone else isn't there?" I ask quietly, not exactly sure if I want the answer, but the anger in my voice in unmistakable. He sighs loudly.

"God no Jade. I wouldn't do that to you, you should know that." He says, looking at me as if I had missed something obvious.

"Then why're you doing this?" I ask, pleading with my eyes for him to stop as I grab his hands in mine as if it'd convince him to do just that. He squeezes my hands, closing his eyes as he takes another deep breath.

"I have to Jade." He says as he opens his eyes, suddenly all of the emotion gone from his eyes. It kills me to see that there's nothing in his eyes, that they're as hard and impassible as stone. I wrap my arms around his neck, kissing him with as much passion as I can muster, trying to convince him that what he was doing was stupid and unnecessary. I feel him kissing me back, but I can already tell just by this kiss that he's made up his mind. I pull away when breathing made itself a requirement.

"That's a bullshit answer Beck." I say, casting my eyes downward as a few tears begin to slide down my face, the cool air making them feel as if they're freezing on my cheeks. He just looks at me, raising his hands to brush away my tears with his thumbs. This caring gesture making me want to cry more.

"I'm so sorry Jade…" He whispers gently, as if he's afraid that his voice could cause me to break in front of him. "I think we just need… Time to- to get over each other Jade." He says slowly, as if I wouldn't be able to understand him.

"W-What's that supposed to mean?" I ask, not fully grasping what he's trying to get across. He just looks at me, some of his sadness creeping into his eyes. He looks away from me momentarily, taking another shaky breath.

"Jade, we're graduating soon right? Well, I- I just think that we shouldn't tie ourselves down in high school just because we're familiar with each other." He sighs and shakes his head, trying to organize his thoughts I guess. I just stare at him with a slack jawed expression. _He's doing this because… He doesn't want me tying him down? What. The. Hell. _Suddenly I want to laugh, I can't understand him at all. _Love is love right? Age doesn't have to matter. Isn't that what Hollywood has been cramming in our heads since the beginning of time? I think back to the movie that we __**just**__ saw not twenty minutes ago. The main actor in his early forties, him ending up with the actress barely over twenty-five. Come on now._ "I just- don't want us to end up **settling** when it comes to our futures Jade… I think we owe it to ourselves to leave our futures open and full of possibilities." His words interrupting my train of thoughts. He says this last sentence with so much conviction, I almost believe him. _Almost._ "Jade, you have to believe that this is hard for me too." He says, voice pleading with me to see his reasoning. I just bite my lower lip as more tears fall from my eyes.

"Yeah..." I reply quickly, shaking my head to get a grip. I turn around and begin to walk around to the other side of his truck, all but throwing myself into the passenger seat. He climbs into the drivers seat, putting the key in the ignition causing the sound of the engine to take place of the uncomfortable silence. I press myself into my seat, trying to disappear into it, wanting to disappear from everything. We both just stare ahead at the road, not really wanting to look at each other. _Three years. Three. Freaking. Years. And he wants to cut it off because we're __**graduating**__? That's such a shitty reason, and he knows it. _I shake my head, trying to distract myself by thinking about if I jumped out now, if the on coming car would have time to stop before they hit me. I repeat that with every vehicle that we pass. It seems like we hit every red light that there was on the way back to my house, but we finally manage to make it back to my house. The drive took way too long, but it was over far too soon. We just sit there, staring at my garage door that's in front of us. I want to say something, but my already bruised pride won't let me, so I just grab my bag in my hand tighter and open the door. I take a deep breath as I climb out of his truck, the cold air wrapping me in its embrace again. I close his door and suddenly I can't move. I want to throw open his door and kiss him and beg him to stay. I look at him, but he refuses to meet my eyes. Instead he just puts the truck in reverse, backs out of my driveway and drives down my street as I watch his tail lights disappear.

I stand outside, in the same place for a few minutes, or maybe a few hours, I can't tell. I finally rip my eyes from the road and turn towards my house. It looms over me, like a monster waiting to consume me. I'm really hoping it will. I manage to get my door unlocked, and I begin walking up the stairs to go to my room. As I open the door to my room, the smell of Beck hits me so hard it causes me to stumble back. I just take a deep breath and walk into my room, slowly I look around to see if I could find something physically different about it. It only seemed logical that after everything changing as it did, that my room would somehow be different too. My weird collections were still there. Posters still in their places. My PearPod still on it's dock. _Nope… Everything's the same… _I'm almost disappointed by this I think. My body begins to move without any command from my brain. I'm gathering a clean outfit to sleep in and making my way to the bathroom. Before I know it I'm standing under water hot enough to turn my pale skin a reddish, blotchy color. I stand there for a moment before I slide down the shower wall onto my knees, and then I crouch over with my forearms pressed against the floor of the shower. Then the first sob ripped out of my throat. _What are you doing?! You're Jade West! You don't cry on the floor of a shower._ I can't answer myself, so I just scream. At myself for being in such a pathetic position, at Beck for doing this to me, at- I don't even know. So I just sit there, sobbing and screaming profanities until the hot water begins to cool. Then I dry off and get dressed, making my way across the hall to my bedroom.

As I climbed under my blankets, wrapping my arms around one of my pillows and snuggling into it, I hope. I hope so much that I'll wake up tomorrow and realize that this was all just a bad dream, and that Beck still loves me enough to be with me. That's the only thing I'm thinking as I fall into a nightmare filled sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

_Sometimes toys break; even your favorite ones. Same thing for people too. _

_**Disclaimer: I still don't own Victorious or any of the characters, or the song that's referenced which is "Blow Me (One Last Kiss)" which belong to P!nk. (It's really good, if you haven't heard it, you should listen to it.) Also 1,000 Ways to Die belongs to Spike.**_

A/N: I didn't really plan on writing this yet, but the internet was being a jerk, so I had a lot of free time! I'll try to get another chapter up Tuesday, but I can't make any promises, as I'm leaving Wednesday to go see my mom, so no writing will be accomplished that day, sorry. And this chapter, I'm sorry to say, is ridiculously long, but, that's how it was written, so, I can't change it! (I could, but then I'd be messing with my creative flow man, so, **NO**.) Now, on to the story! :D

Tori's POV

"I will do what I please, anything that I want. I will breathe, I won't breathe, I won't worry at all. You will pay for your sins, you'll be sorry my dear! All the lies, all the wise, will be crystal clear." I sang along with the song that's playing on loop behind my back from my PearPod that's sitting comfortably on its dock. I stop singing and drop my head into my hands, shaking it slightly in irritation. History was never my strong point. Luckily we have a three day weekend this week, us getting Monday off because of a Teacher meeting or something. So I still have two and a half days to get this report done, but I don't want to wait 'til the last minute either. I sigh deeply, running my hand through my hair and readjusting my glasses on my nose. _Orange juice helps the thinking process._ I think as I'm already standing up, on my way to get a glass of said delicious concoction.

I notice that Trina's not in the living room, so I take the steps two at a time, and slide across the kitchen floor in my socks. _As she sticks the landing and poses for the crowd the judges award her with straight tens! _Listening to music and not having to deal with my sister always puts me in a good mood. I walk over to the cabinets to retrieve an empty glass, then I head towards the fridge grabbing the carton of orange juice that has "Tori" written on it. _Literally. _Trina used to drink my orange juice, stating that, "it didn't have my name written on it". I fixed that problem rather quickly. I smile as I bring the glass up to my mouth while putting the carton back in its respected place. That's when I notice the sticky note located on the door. I grab it, scanning over it.

"Hey sis, I went out with some friends to the mall. Have fun being a loser at the house! Chao, Trina xoxo" I roll my eyes as I move to throw away the note. I love my sister don't get me wrong, just, there's such thing as **too** much of a person. It's getting to the point where we're probably about to have another big fight. We bicker all the time, but every once in awhile, there'll be the big argument that actually needs parental interference to get us talking again. As easily irritated I'm becoming by just hearing her voice, I'm assuming we're about there again. I shake my head slightly as I drown out my Trina related thoughts with my juice. _Orange juice, you're so amazing. _I pout slightly as I remember the history report that's patiently waiting on my desk upstairs. _Damn you history…_

* * *

"DONE!" I yell _victoriously_ as I jump up, throwing my arms up in the air. "Take that history! In. Your. Face!" I continuing yelling as I begin to hop from foot to foot, thrusting my fingers accusingly at the book covered by my printed out report. I smile stupidly as I realize that my history report was the last thing I had to do that was school related because I did everything else during school Friday. _Ah, sweet, sweet freedom. How I've missed you so. _I grab my report, stick it in its folder and put it and my book in my bag for Tuesday. I toss my bag to the floor next to my desk as I make my way down stairs. _Hmm, it's seven o'clock… Where is everyone? _I wonder as I head towards the fridge to grab last night's pizza. I lean against the counter as I wait for the microwave to finish reheating my pizza. _Man, I'm actually kind of tired… I might just crash after this. I don't know though… It's Saturday night, going to bed at eight'ish sounds kinda lame. _The beeping of the microwave distracts me from my pondering as I open the microwave door and carefully retrieve my pizza trying to avoid burning myself. I carefully begin to eat my pizza slice as I walk towards the couch. I plop down on it, grab the remote and turn it on. I start scanning through the channels 'til I find 1,000 Ways To Die. I love this show, I don't know why, I just do. I take the last bite of my pizza just as a commercial comes on. _I wonder if Trina texted me. _I go to grab my phone out of my pocket, only to realize I left it upstairs. _Bummer… I have to get up. _I groan as I lift myself up off the couch, making my way to my room. I walk in, grab my phone, note that there's no new messages and pocket it as I go back downstairs to watch my show. I sprawl out on the couch, managing to take up the whole thing, my eye lids begin to grow heavier the longer I lay here. _No more history_ and with that thought I drift off to sleep.

* * *

I wake with a start, sitting up fast enough to cause a head rush. _What the hell woke me up? _I groggily look around and notice that nothing's going on, albeit the TV is still on. I search for the remote and hit a button to make the clock come up. _Eleven twenty-seven? Man, I was out. _I run a hand through my hair, looking around again and shrug slightly. _Guess I just… Had a nightmare? I don't know._ I reach into my pocket, grabbing for my phone to see if Trina had texted me, or if she was home. _Three missed calls. What? _I look at my phone as I slide my finger across the screen to unlock it. _Oh God… I missed three calls from my mother… I'm dead. _I stare wide eyed at my phone before I tap her name to call her back. _She probably called Dad thinking that I've been kidnapped and that I'm being held for ransom. _

"Hello? Tori?" My mom asks worriedly into the phone. I mentally brace myself for the rant about needing to answer my phone I'm probably about to receive.

"Yeah Mom, sorry I missed your calls, I was asleep." I apologize, hoping she wouldn't be as tough about it if she knew I was dead to the world.

"Honey it's fine, where's Trina? She wouldn't answer her phone either." She replies, sounding just as worried as before. _Oh, it's about Trina then. Dodged a bullet there. _

"Uh, she said that her and a couple of her friends were going to the mall, but that was a while back…" _Yeah like, twelve hours back. I love shopping just as much as her, but twelve hours of it? No thank you._

"Well, can you try calling her please? She needs to get home, and when she's home, call me okay Sweetie?" Mom says, sounding as if her mind were somewhere else.

"Can do Mom… Is uh, everything okay?" I ask, getting worried by her weird behavior. I hear her take a deep breath and exhale slowly, causing the receiver to rattle before she answers me.

"I'm fine Sweetie, just, try to get a hold of her for me okay? I love you, I'll talk to you later, bye." She replies, sounding emotionless, but before I can ask her about it I hear the other end of the line go dead. _She hung up on me! _I sigh heavily, dropping my hands down onto the couch, hating the feeling that this whole situation is giving me. I pick my hands back up so I can dial Trina's number. As I'm sitting here, I begin to chew my lip, worry building up at an alarmingly fast rate. _Come on Treen, pick up the phone. Please pick up. _

"What do you want?" Trina snaps into the phone. If I wasn't so relieved, I'd probably be irked at her for that. Suddenly I hear the loud music in the background and instantly know why Trina didn't answer Mom's calls. "Tori, if you don't start talking I'm hanging up." She threatens impatiently.

"Treen, Mom said to get home." I say quickly, afraid she'd hang up on me.

"Tori, I'm kinda busy right now, so just text her and tell her that I'm home okay? Thanks, love ya, bye!" Trina replied, sounding all sorts of levels of bitchy. I grit my teeth to keep from letting my anger win out and letting her hang up.

"Trina, **please**, Mom sounded really worried, and it's not about you being home or not. I think something's wrong because she wanted to tell us together." I reply in a pleading tone, continuing to chew my lip now that I was done talking. I hear her huff into the phone.

"Fine Tori. I'll be home in twenty minutes, but you **so** owe me for ruining my night." she practically growls at me as the line goes dead. _Is it hang up on Tori day? _

* * *

"Better be important!" Trina yells at me, throwing her purse and a couple of bags onto the couch in anger. _What the hell? It's not like I wanted to "ruin her night". Ugh! _

"I don't think Mom would sound so worried if it wasn't Trina." I replied curtly before standing up and making my way to the house phone. She just gave me a dirty look before heading over to the table. I began dialing Mom's number before flopping into the chair opposite of her, putting the phone on speaker. After three rings she picks up.

"Trina's home?" Mom asks, almost frantically. _Straight to the point then. _

"Yeah Mom, right here." Trina replies, playing with the ends of her hair, as if she'd rather be anywhere other than here. Mom just inhales deeply, and the line goes silent for a moment. Trina and I look up at each other with a quizzical look donning our faces. "Uh, Mom?" Trina questions, thinking the same thing as me.

"I'm sorry girls, I'm still here, just- give me a minute." She replies, suddenly sounding so sad it breaks my heart a little. My eyes shoot up to meet Trina's, silently asking each other questions. A few tense moments pass before out mother speaks again. "Tori, do you remember what your grandfather told you last week when you called?" She asks suddenly. The question catches me off guard, but I quickly recover. Trina just looks at me, waiting. _Not something she does often._

"Oh, yeah, he said that I probably shouldn't visit them because grandma hasn't been feeling too good." I reply, suddenly getting a queasy feeling in my stomach. "Why?" I ask, worry evident in my voice.

"W-Well, Dad took her to the hospital two days ago, and they didn't want to tell us incase it wasn't important and-" Mom began, sounding closer to tears with each word. I suddenly wanted to vomit, and Trina must've too because she interrupts Mom.

"Mom, what're you saying?" Trina asks, leaning closer to the phone as if that'd convey her urgency to our mother.

"T-The doctors aren't sure yet… But… They think it's Cancer. They said that it- it doesn't look good at all." She trails off as a quiet sob rips out of her throat, emphasizing her statement. I just stare at the phone. I feel tears well up in my eyes. _No. No, no, no, Mom, that isn't funny… Take it back, that's so not funny! _"The doctors pulled Dad aside and told him, he told me, and we've agreed that we'll wait until the test results come in before we tell her. Because if it's not Cancer, then there's no point in worrying her." She says, sounding so tired and sad. I can't seem to form a single word, so I just sit there, staring at the phone, refusing to let my tears fall. "Girls?" Mom asks sounding worried.

"We're here. Just- It's a lot to take in." Trina replies, sounding void of emotion.

"I know Honey. I'm so sorry. I called your father and he left his hotel about an hour ago, so he should be home soon. I'm at the hospital, and I probably won't be home tonight." She tells us. _We should be there. _

"Why can't we go up there?" I asks, hating how close to breaking my voice sounds.

"She doesn't know remember? I- We can't have y'all up here crying, then she'll know something's wrong." She replies tiredly, as if she's been told this already.

"Mom, Tori goes to a school for acting and performing, and I graduated from said school, I think we could manage." Trina replies, a flicker of determination coming to life in her eyes.

"Trina, Honey, Grandpa told me to tell y'all that. I can't argue with my dad about something like this. Even though I tried. I'm sorry. He said that y'all could come up when we get the test results. But for now- I need y'all to be strong for each other okay? F-For me too…" she practically begs as another sob makes its way out of her mouth. _I want to hug her so bad._

"Okay Mom. I- We love you, we'll have Dad call you when he gets home, and we'll all call you tomorrow. Goodnight Mom, we love you." I say, my voice sounding so much stronger than I actually feel. Trina looks at me as if I was a traitor as Mom tells us goodnight and the she loves us too. I pick up the phone and click the end button.

"What the hell Tori?! Y-You just gave up like that?" Trina looks at me as her eyes fill with tears. _Please don't cry. _

"Yes Trina, I, 'just gave up like that'! Arguing with her about something she has no control over isn't going to help her at all Treen!" I reach up with both of my hands, grabbing handfuls of my hair. "We need- no, we **have** to be strong now Trina… As much as it hurts… That's her **mother**, I can't imagine how bad she must be feeling if I feel this bad now." I say, taking a deep breath as my sadness quickly turns to anger, and Trina's in range right now so that's not good. She just stares at me as more tears begin to stream down her face, flowing freely. _I wish I could do that… But I have to be strong for her. For Mom. For everyone. _She opens her mouth, and I brace for the venom filled reply I'm sure I'll get. Nothing comes out though. She suddenly launches out of her chair, slamming into me and wrapping her arms around my neck. It takes me a minute to realize she's hugging me, then I slowly wrap my arms around her, protectively. It's then that she completely bursts into throat ruining sobs that rack her whole body. We slowly slide down to the ground, me rocking her back and forth slowly as I tell her things like, "Shh, we'll be okay" or "It'll be okay" when I know it'll be anything but.

Kneeling here, holding my older sister as she breaks to pieces in front of me, I can feel it. My whole being breaking, shattering, falling in around me, threatening to crush me with each breath that I take. _Is it wrong to cry? _I start to rock us a little faster, squeezing my eyes shut to try to stop the flow of tears trying to burst free from me. _You know it is, so don't. _We just stay kneeling there until our dad walks through the door to find us like this. He immediately walks towards us, I pass Trina off to him before he can touch me. He just looks at me, asking with his eyes why I got up. I just swallow harshly, and turn around, going to my room. I grab some clean underwear and all but run into the bathroom, locking the door behind me and jump into the shower. I turn the water to as hot as I can stand it, wanting it to boil away the feeling of helplessness I suddenly have. _Why? __**WHY?**_ I internally scream as I brace myself against the shower wall to keep myself from falling. _C'mon, don't cry. Strong people don't cry. It's the __**one**__ thing your mom asked you to do. Don't. You. Dare. Cry. _Even as I'm telling myself this a sob breaks away from me as a few tears run over my eyes all without my permission. _**NO. **_I quickly shake my head. I take deep breaths until I quit crying. I take a normal shower after that. As I'm leaving the bathroom I run into my dad in the hallway.

"Are you okay?" He asks, gently, concern written all over his face. _I don't want to lie… Too bad I have to._

"Yeah, what about Trina?" I ask, crossing my arms to try and hold myself together.

"She's downstairs, we're going to watch a movie. Care to join?" He asks, sounding hopeful, already expecting my answer.

"No thanks, I'm just gonna go to bed now. See you in the morning, night Dad. Tell Trina I said goodnight, and I told Mom that I'd tell you to call her when you got home." I reply, giving him a bright smile. He just nods his head.

"Okay, y'know where to find me if you need anything." He offers, as I turn to walk around him to get to my room. _I can't breathe._ I crawl under my blankets, wrapping myself up as if they were a concoon that would shield me from the world. _I can't breathe. _I begin rocking back and forth, feeling as though my walls are crushing me, making my lungs useless. I want to call someone, anyone to tell them what's going on, so that I don't feel this crushing weight alone, but my phone's down stairs and I have to be strong for everyone, so I really shouldn't. _Don't cry Tori. That's not what strong people do. _That's what I tell myself throughout the night each time I wake up with wet cheeks and burning eyes.


	4. Chapter 4

_Sometimes toys break; even your favorite ones. Same thing for people too. _

_**Disclaimer: *sighs* Still don't own Victorious. This plot is totes mine though! :3 I also don't own "Getting Away With Murder", that belongs to Papa Roach.**_

Jade's POV

_ Shit. Maybe if I roll over and go back to sleep- No Jade, that's stupid. You already know that it really happened. _Last night surged through my head, watching that god awful movie with Beck's arm around my shoulder, him breaking up with me by his truck in the parking lot, the ride home that finalized everything, and then me crying in the shower. _Wow, that sounds really pathetic when I put it that way._ I just shake my head, trying to get rid of the thought. _I'm thirsty._ I sit up letting the blanket fall onto my lap, I throw it off as I hoist myself out of bed. _I'm__ out of coffee, and I don't feel like going anywhere right now… _I take a mental inventory check of all the things that should be in the fridge as I make my way down to the kitchen. As I pull open the refrigerator's door I notice a jug of apple juice sitting on the middle shelf. I shrug as I take it, opening it and drinking it straight from the jug. _I wonder why I don't drink this more often. Probably 'cause I always have a coffee instead. _I shrug my shoulders to try to dispel my thoughts as I sigh and lean against the island in my kitchen. _He dumped me. _I almost choke on my apple juice as I feel my heart clench in my chest. I squeeze my eyes shut as I feel the sudden sting of tears threatening to spill over.

"Shut up, just- shut up." I tell myself, shaking my head as I slam the apple juice onto the island, causing some of it to jump out of its container, the apple juice splatters against the tiled surface just as my tears do. _He dumped you. _I grab my chest as I feel my heart tear a little. It felt as if it were being ripped by each beat that it took, the pain causing it to beat faster, to hurt that much more. "Quit it. Just stop it now!" I yell at myself, gripping the edge of the island hard enough to turn my knuckles white. I grunt as I shake my head to try and stop the flow of tears that just seem to have no end. I take a few deep breaths, each one sounding better, stronger, than the last. "It was just a high school romance Jade." _You loved him. _I run a hand through my hair as I reach for a hand towel so that I can clean up my mess. "I mean really. Did you expect it to last your whole life? Did you expect to marry him?" _Yes. _I laugh harshly at myself. _Again. __**Again.**__ I let someone hurt me, again. But… It was Beck… He wasn't supposed to do that to me. _"But he did." My voice breaks as I say this. I feel the tears well up in my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall. _You know what? If he's fine, then I'm better. I'm Jade __**fucking**__ West, and I don't cry over something as mundane as a breakup. _I loudly clear my throat as I pick my apple juice back up and turn to go to my room.

_ At least I live alone…_ I quietly huff as I climb the stairs, thankful that I don't have to go through the ordeal of explaining to anyone why I was acting like this. I open my bedroom door, the smell of Beck still so strong it could choke me, but I refuse to let it bother me in the slightest. I take a drink of juice as I walk over to my bedroom window, all but throwing it open to get some airflow in here. _To get rid of this god awful stench. _I put the juice down on my desk, next to my computer. Before I know it, I'm stripping my bed, all but ripping off the covers, the sheets, tearing the pillow cases off of the pillows, and then bunching them all up in a big ball. I quickly pick them up together, while trying to block out the images that flood my mind as I walk briskly towards the laundry room. _Skin. A lot of it. Heavy breathing. Gentle caresses. Moans and grunts filling the air. "I love you Jade". _I practically slam the washer door shut, trying not to punch through a wall in my anger. I stomp back to my room and turn on my PearPod, putting it on shuffle, wanting it to blare music loud enough to keep my mind busy. A heavy beat took over the speakers that I immediately identified as "Getting Away with Murder". I smile at the song as I reach for a drawer on my desk. Taking a deep breath, I pull it open. My throat closes up, as my eyes take in the contents of the drawer. Various sized pictures of Beck, of Beck and I together, doing various thing. I reach a shaking hand towards the top picture, it being the most recent one. It was around three months ago, we were on spring break and we had gone to the beach. Beck had asked some man to take a picture of us. We were standing on the boardwalk, shops behind us making a fairly nice background. He was smiling at the camera with a gray button up hanging open on his torso. He had his arm around me, the other hanging by his side. Then there I was, not even bothering to look at the camera, my gaze directed up at his smiling face. Even through this picture, you can see the love practically emanating off of me. It screams it in my eyes, in the smile that's gracing my face, the way my arms are wrapped around his midsection. I feel my heart give one of those ripping thuds. I drop the picture as if it's burned me. It falls back into the drawer, face down as I slam the thing shut. _It was just a picture damn it! Get a grip Jade! _I inhale harshly, distracting myself by listening to the music that was flowing from the speakers. I take my bottom lip between my teeth, chewing thoughtfully before I let it go. I practically sulk over to my bed before falling onto it face down. I lay there for a moment before throwing myself onto my back. I just stare up at the ceiling.

_ Okay, time to work. Beck- Beck broke up with me. Okay, done. _I hold my left hand in front of myself, lifting my index finger, using it to count. _I'm Jade West, so a little breakup with some guy won't break me. _I raise my middle finger. _I shouldn't be acting like this. _I raise my thumb. _I'll clean my room. Get rid of all his stuff. _I raise my ring finger. I take my lip between my teeth again, I chew until I taste blood, then I just chew harder, reveling in the pain. _I'll be fine. _I hold up my pinkie. _He broke up with me. I'm Jade West. I'm being stupid. I'll get rid of all things "Beck" in this house. I'll be fine. _I repeat this like a mantra until I hear a buzzer. It shocks me slightly, but then I realize that it's just my washer telling me that it's done getting rid of his smell. I smile slightly as I get up to put my bedding stuff in the dryer. As I make my way back to my room, the smell of him has drastically decreased, and I couldn't be happier about that. I lean against the frame of my door, closing my eyes I take a deep breath. I reopen them, and push off of the door frame, heading towards that damn drawer. I throw it open and grab everything out of it, I look down into my arms, seeing everything that Beck's ever given me, or things that just remind me of him. I take a shaky breath and then turn towards the trashcan that sits beside my desk. With one last fleeting glance, I cut a connection to him somewhere deep inside myself, and I drop all of it, cut string and all, into the trashcan.

I look into my now empty drawer, my heart gives another painful beat, but I simply ignore it. I reach out to close the drawer, smiling as I feel the tears in my eyes. _It hurts so much. Shut up, you'll be fine. _I pinch the bridge of my nose between my thumb and finger, screwing my eyes shut, hating the fact that I'm arguing with myself. _I'm going insane. Well, I can't argue with you there, although, you were never really all that "sane" to start with. _I let out a shaky laugh at myself. Seems like I'm on the same page with myself now at least. I scan my room, noting the things I'd have to throw away, the things that actually just needed to be put up in their rightful places, and then I saw the mirror above my dresser. I walk over to it, bracing myself for the worst. I'm shocked as I look into the image that is me. If I didn't know any better, I'd say that I look fine. _That's because I really am fine. I'm Jadelyn West, and I'm okay now. _I smile and wink at myself in the mirror. "Yeah, I'll be fine." With a head nod from myself for confirmation, I leave the mirror behind me as I leave my room to go get a trash bag. _Yeah, keep telling yourself that. _I block out that thought and keep descending down the stairs. _I'll. Be. Okay._

* * *

_A/N: Yeah… Wasn't really feeling this chapter, sorry about that if you can tell by my writing. (I tried D:) I've decided that I'm gonna just go ahead and change the rating to M from here on out. That's pretty much all I have to say. Please don't forget to review! =)_


	5. Chapter 5

_Sometimes toys break; even your favorite ones. Same thing for people too. _

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious, if I did, Jori/Torade would be cannon- oh wait, that wasn't a valid argument because it so obviously is cannon! Oh well, either way, I'm still poor and don't own the show or the characters :D **_

Tori POV

_ She's dying. _I blink, trying to bring the real world into focus. I'm lying on my side, facing the wall. I've woken up like this countless times before, but it just seems so different now. I stare blankly at the wall for a few moments before I force myself to roll over to check the time. _It's only seven seventeen… I could probably sleep some more. _I just notice the stinging in my eyes. There's no tears there, but they sting so bad. _I guess from crying. _Suddenly, I'm exhausted. Not really sleepy, but so tired I feel as if I've just pulled an all nighter trying to get something done for school. _My grandma is dying. _I shake my head, burying it underneath my pillow as my eyes begin to sting even more, the fresh tears there acting as gas on a fire. I clench my teeth together, and press the pillow harder onto my head, trying to suffocate my need to cry. When I've gotten a handle on it, I take the pillow away from my face, shivering slightly as the cool air hits my newly exposed flesh. _Time to get up._ I can't seem to find the want to get up though. I force body up however, standing up and raising my hands up into the air, stretching until I feel my back pop. Sighing with contempt at the feeling I begin to head towards my door. As I'm opening it, I suddenly realize how tired getting out of bed had made me. _Hm, that's weird. _I hear a voice from down stairs, I instinctively crouch as I continue to make my way to the stairs so I could do some investigating. It's my dad and it sounds like he's on the phone.

"Well, yes I understand that you want to be up there, but-" He stops talking, I guess he's talking to mom. "Yeah, but a hotel is a little over the top don't you think?" _She's staying at a hotel? _"What about Trina and Tori, Holly? This is affecting them too." _Trina. _I see her crying hard enough that I was afraid she'd shake to pieces. _Is she okay? _I hear him sigh heavily into the phone. "I didn't say you were neglecting them, but they need you Holly. I'm worried about Tori honey." _Me? Why is he worried about me? _"Well of course I'm worried about Trina too, I'm not picking favorites or anything but-" I can almost see his face, contorted in frustration as my mother refuses to allow him to finish a sentence. I hear him heave another sigh. "Fine Holly, fine, okay. When will the doctors have the test results?" His voice sounds defeated. "Okay, we'll see you Tuesday then, I love you, talk to you soon, bye." I hear another heavy sigh and then the sound of him sitting on the couch heavily. _Tuesday? That's two days away… _I stand upright, deciding to go talk to him, seeing as he's worried about me apparently.

"Morning Dad!" I greet happily, with a normal smile while walking towards the fridge. He looks at me with a confused look on his face.

"Morning Sweetie, did you sleep well?" He asks, eyes searching over me as if he were looking for something out of place. _Boy, did I ever. _I think sarcastically before answering him.

"Yeah, what about you?" I reply, grabbing my carton of orange juice, then turning to get a glass. I can feel his eyes on me, but he's not answering me.

"I slept fine." He finally replies, his tone however sounds exhausted. I just nod as I put away my juice, bringing the glass up to my lips. I revel in the feeling of the cool liquid sliding in down my throat, it's somehow soothing. "Are you okay?" he suddenly asks, sounding concerned. _Um, yeah? Just drinking some OJ Dad, nothing to worry about. _

"Yes, why wouldn't I be?" I ask, making my voice sound young, that way he felt the need to let the subject go because no one wants to hurt a little girl. _Ah, thank you acting class._ His eyebrows draw down together, a frown making itself onto his face.

"I ah, was just wondering y'know." he replies, running a hand through his hair, looking almost awkward.

"Oh okay then!" I reply in the same tone of voice, smiling brightly at him before I continue drinking my juice. "I'll be in my room if you need me!" I tell him, already halfway up the stairs. _Please d__on't need me._

"Oh, uh, okay then. But aren't you hungry?" he asks, the last part rushed since I was almost out of ear shot. I debate ignoring him, but dismiss the idea.

"Nope, thanks though." I holler back before I'm reopening my door. I don't know why, but I actually feel relieved to be in my room. _I ate when… Seven? It's- _I glance at the clock, _seven forty-six… Twelve hours, that's not really enough time to get too hungry I guess. _I simply shrug my shoulders as I make my way to my bed. I sit on the edge of it, holding my orange juice in-between my hands, the condensation on the glass cooling them. _I'm numb._ I screw up my face at this thought. _The hell does that mean? _I don't even know, so I let it go, instead choosing to let my mind wander. I glance towards my window, and I see the sun in the sky, shining brightly, saying, "Hey everyone, wake up! Today's going to be a great day!" _Stupid sun you don't know shit. _I shake my head at myself, knowing that cursing at a celestial ball of gas couldn't be a bigger waste of time if I wanted it to be. I sigh and lift my glass to down the rest of my orange juice. _This stuff really is amazing. _I get up, setting my glass down on my dresser. I walk over to my closet, opening the door and leaning on the frame as I began chewing my lip, deciding what to wear today. _I don't really plan on going anywhere, so something comfy. _With that, I grab my favorite pair of jeans and a black shirt. Feeling satisfied with the small task of getting dressed I fall onto my bed back first. I stare up at the ceiling, thinking about nothing, just staring. I just huff a little. It's not that I'm bored per say, but I don't really know what to do. TV sounds just about as entertaining as a route canal right now, going downstairs seems like a horrible option, and I don't really feel like talking to anyone period. _Huh… I'm actually a pretty social person usually. _I honestly can't find it in myself to care though. _I'm actually pretty content just being here. _With a sigh I roll over to go back to sleep.

* * *

"Tori? Hey, Tori, wake up. C'mon." I groan as I feel someone shake my shoulder. "C'mon, wake up!" Another shake. I internally sigh but open my eyes nevertheless, a bleary Trina coming into view.

"Yes?" I ask, sleep evident in my voice. She just smiles at me, as if waking up was the best thing I'd ever done for her. _Your grandma's dying. Oh. Yeah. That. _Surprisingly I don't feel the urge to cry at this thought, instead focusing all of my attention on my sister kneeling in front of me. I blink again, finally really looking at her. Her eyes are slightly swollen, cheeks a little redder than normal, and you can see how tired she is in her eyes.

"Hey? Did you hear me?" She asks, tilting her head quizzically. _She's being nice. _I shake my head as I move to sit up. _I didn't even know you said anything. _

"No sorry." I reply running a hand through my hair. She just shakes her head, smiling a little.

"I said, 'it's eleven o'clock, time to get your happy ass up'." She repeats, smiling, but it looks shaky, as if even a gust of wind could cause it to fall and shatter. _I'd hate to be that wind… _So I just smile back at her. I stand up, careful not to knock into her. I wiggle my butt a little.

"Look, it's up, and happy." I reply, smiling as she laughs and shakes her head.

"Whatever. You loser." She says, while standing up. "Wanna go do something?" She suddenly asks, the momentarily genuine smile being replaced by that breakable one. _Damn it. Not really no, but… _

"Yeah, sure. What'd you have in mind?" I answer, walking over to my mirror to see if I could arrange myself in a more presentable way.

"Nothing really… Maybe we could just go for a cruise or something y'know?" She asks, and when I turn around I see her glancing up from the ground almost sheepishly. _She wants a distraction… Can't really blame her._ I smile brightly at her.

"Yeah, sounds fun." I reply enthusiastically, reaching into one of my dresser drawers for a pair of socks.

* * *

"You girls have fun?" Dad asks us as we enter through the door laughing. I look over at Trina, judging by her laughter I think the answer is a yes.

"Yeah Dad, believe it or not, Tori can actually be funny." Trina replies, winking at me as I playfully slap her on the arm. Dad just shakes his head at our behavior. "We'll be upstairs." Trina hollers down at him as we walk up said stairs.

"Okay, I'm here if you need anything." Dad calls after us, I don't know what it is, but there's something in his voice that makes me feel as if it were directed more at me than Trina. I cast a quick glance behind me to see him hunched over the table with his head in his hands. _That's why you have to be strong. He's having a hard enough time, adding your weight to his would be selfish. _I silently vow to be completely self reliant from here on out as Trina and I enter my room.

"That was fun, thanks for going with me Tori." Trina says as I make my way to my PearPod, turning it on to some pop song for background noise before answering her.

"I had fun too Treen." I reply, flopping down onto my bed, next to her. It really was fun, we went to Starbucks and I treated us to some coffee, we had drove down streets that we'd never been on before, just to see where they went, and we had cranked up her car stereo and sang along with the songs, all but screaming the lyrics. Trina's talent wasn't really singing, although she sang so much better when she wasn't trying to impress anyone. No, her talent lies more in the acting department. In all honesty, we were opposites in that sense, she was the actress, I was the singer. Doesn't mean we couldn't do the other, just that it was quite obvious which one favorites us.

"What're you thinking about?" Trina suddenly asks me, breaking my train of thought. I hadn't really meant to space out on her like that. I smile sheepishly before deciding to answer truthfully.

"I was actually just thinking about our talents." I reply, almost hoping she'd leave it at that. She raises an eyebrow and leans into me with her shoulder at this.

"And what about them?" She asks, sounding quite devious if I do say so.

"Well, I was just thinking about what a great, talented, not terrible actress you are." I answer, throwing in compliments at every chance I got, smiling brightly at her. She just looks at me, already expecting there's another part to be said.

"I can hear the, 'but' Tori." She hints, still waiting for me to continue.

"But, how you're not the greatest singer in the world." I reply, hoping that it wouldn't make her mad. She just laughs, shocking me.

"No, that I'm not." She replies, wiping the tears that have gathered in her eyes from laughing so hard. "Singing's always been more your thing, but I gotta say, acting? No, not so much. You might want to leave that to the pros." She states, gesturing to herself as she finishes her sentence.

"Indeed I might" I say, smiling at her, and we just sit there smiling at each other momentarily until we both burst into laughter. It's a few minutes until we quit laughing, and we're both on the floor, grabbing out stomachs by this time, and it honestly made me feel so much better. _Thanks Trina._ We just sit there, wiping our eyes for a moment before I hear her breathing grow heavier. Suddenly she's crying, sobbing just like last night. I instantly sober up and crawl over to her.

"Tori, how're- how're you doing this?" She asks, looking at me with eyes that are frantically searching my face, as if it held the answer she was looking for. _What does she mean? _She shakes her head as she shifts to sit Indian style. I copy her motion, sitting just a few inches in front of her incase she needs a hug. "You're- I mean-" She tries, but has to break off as a sob interrupts her. _I hate seeing her like this. I wish I could help her. No wait, by being someone she can lean on, I am helping her. Who can you lean on Tori? I'm fine, I don't need anyone to lean on, I can handle this. _"How can you be okay right now Tori?" Trina hurriedly asks, I guess trying to get it out before another sob can make it out of her throat. I don't know how to reply to that. _Sure I'm okay, but I'm honestly not a hundred percent. Ha, who's the actress now Treen? _I just smile sadly and shake my head.

"I have to be Trina… It's really just that simple. Dad might be acting like he's okay, but if you look when he doesn't think you are, you can see it. Mom's having a hard time with this too, and you're-" I start to explain, but I'm interrupted as she begins to talk.

"You're fine though Tori, and I don't understand how. Y-You're acting as if nothing's wrong and- I know why you are, but-" She's practically yelling by this point, and I'm really too shocked to say anything even if I had wanted to. "How?" She asks, looking at me, eyes pleading for me to answer her.

"I- I don't know Trina…" I whisper, casting my eyes down towards my lap. I debate whether or not to just cave and tell her that no, I'm not fine, not at all. If I could really tell her that I'm shattered right now, that me being okay is just a part I'm playing at right now. What if I just told her that if I wasn't carefully distracting myself that I'd just make myself sadder and sadder. _I'm numb. _I almost decide to do it, but I hear her clear her throat suddenly. I look up at her.

"Well, if you can do it… I guess I can too right?" She asks, looking at me as I can see that spark of determination from last night in her eyes again. I feel my heart break a little. _How selfish it would've been for me to tell her all of that. She's actually looking to me as an example, and I was just going to crush that. God, I'm an awful_ _sister._

"Right." I reassure her, smiling brightly at her. "But if you need anyone to talk to, you know I'm here right?" I remind her, letting her know that she doesn't have to do this alone. She nods her head at me.

"Same for you too." She replies, smiling that seemingly breakable smile from before. _I know you mean it… but if I showed you how weak I am… No, I can't do that, I'm sorry. _

"Yeah I know, thanks." I say, increasing the size of my smile a small fraction. "Now," I say, clapping my hands together, making to stand up. "let's drop all this sad shit and do something fun." I suggest, reaching a hand down to help her up. She smiles a genuine smile before taking my hand.

"Such as what?" She asks, already looking better.

"I don't know, but I'll let you drink some of my orange juice while we're thinking of something to do?" I offer, already heading towards the door, throwing her a smile and wink over my shoulder. I hear her chuckle at this.

"Sounds good sis." She says right before she pushes me into the wall and runs past me yelling that she was going to drink it all. _I'm numb. _I just push that thought away as I yell back at her that I'll cause her physical harm if she does, running to catch up to her.

* * *

"It's barely seven!" Trina whines as I block her entrance to my room by leaning against my door frame.

"I don't care, I'm tired, and I need a shower too, so, bluh." I retort, sticking my tongue out at her at that last part. She just cocks a hip out, placing her hand on top of it.

"You didn't even really wake up until eleven, how the hell are you tired already?" She asks, sounding almost annoyed. _She actually has a point… But I'm so tired, I've kinda been tired all day actually. _

"I don't know Trina, how're you **not **tired?" I ask, raising an eyebrow at her. She just rolls her eyes at me.

"Fine, party pooper, I'll see you tomorrow then." She says, looking somewhat disappointed. I want to tell her never mind, that I'll hang out with her some more, but I'm just so tied.

"And not a minute later." I tell her, winking at her before I turn to go into my room, softly closing the door behind me. I huff a heavy sigh as I hear her retreating footsteps. _God, today's been so long, but it's only really been… Eight hours? No way. _I bring my hands up, counting on my fingers. _Yep, eight hours, hmm, feels more like forty-eight but okay. _I just brush it off as I yawn, moving to grab some pajamas.

* * *

"Aren't you hungry?" I turn around fast enough to lose my balance a little, only finding my dad behind me.

"Dang Dad, you almost gave me a heart attack." I say, grabbing my chest, as I focus on trying to control my breathing.

"Sorry, but aren't you?" He asks again, his brows drawing down and a frown making its way onto his face.

"Uh, no?" I answer, although it sounds more like I'm asking it. "Why?" I ask, honestly wondering why he'd ask me that. He just looks me over before inhaling deeply.

"Just, you haven't eaten anything all day Kiddo." He answers, looking off to the side as he says it. _He's right, I haven't. I just haven't been hungry though. I think about eating and I get queasy and I want to puke and- _just thinking about it is making me nauseous.

"Oh, well, I haven't been hungry… Sorry." I offer up weakly. He just sighs and reaches out to give me a hug. I flinch back causing his face to immediately look hurt and worried at the same time. I try to play it off, by raising my arms as if I'd been stretching, as I finish my lame attempt at that I will myself forward and wrap my arms around him. He momentarily doesn't reciprocate the action, but after a second he wraps me in a suffocating hug. I quickly withdrawal, from his grip. "Good night Dad." I say hurriedly, retreating to my room. He barely has time to get out a goodnight before my door clicks shut as I lean back against it.

_ What the hell was that? I've never been the kid who didn't want to hug their parents, so what was that? _I sigh as I let my head fall back against it, looking up towards the ceiling. _I don't know… Ugh, I'm going to bed. _I make my way over to the object that almost seems to be my savior at the moment before crawling under the silkiness that is my covers. I snuggle into my mattress, inhaling deeply the scent that oddly calms me suddenly. I grab one of my pillows and cuddle into its side, instantly falling into a black hole called sleep.

* * *

I wake up. _Why? _I'm staring up at my ceiling. _I don't know. _I sigh, I almost feel robbed for some reason. I glance over at my clock, it's 1:13 in the morning. _Perfect time for some Orange juice! I'm so weird. _I simply shake my head at myself as I climb out of bed. I'm carefully making my way towards the kitchen, not wanting to wake anyone up because judging by the lights being off, I assume they're asleep. Or at least I thought so until I head the voice, barely audible coming from the kitchen. I crouch down, creeping towards the stairs. _This seems familiar. _I think fleetingly, as I get within earshot. It's Dad again.

"I'm **worried** about her Holly!" Dad quietly, but firmly says into the phone. _God, this again?_ It's quiet as he listens to whatever Mom's saying. "You can't see it Holly, she's not eating, she hasn't cried once, she'd been acting slightly off, and she's been sleeping more than usual… Holly, I'm worried she's getting depressed." he says, suddenly sounding years older. _Depressed? _"I know it's a little early to be saying things like that for sure, but if you saw her, you'd probably think the same damn thing!" He whispers angrily into the phone. Suddenly I don't want orange juice anymore, or to hear this ridiculous conversation for that matter. I quietly make my way back to my room, closing the door silently behind me.

_ Depressed? That's a good one Dad. I'm not depressed. _I decide as I climb under my covers once again. I feel my eyelids becoming heavier, sleep winning out over my inner debate. Right before I go under, a single thought makes up my mind on the matter. _I'm not depressed… I'm numb._

* * *

A/N: Guess what I did today! If you guessed C. Locked myself out of my house, you get a pat on the back! T-T (It was kinda embarrassing) BUT I got in, and then wrote this bad boy! ;D I'm trying to get some chapters done and posted before school starts again because my writing will more than likely become less frequent at that point. Anyways, now that I've shared that information, I'll let you go :) Don't forget to review, hope you enjoyed it :)


	6. Chapter 6

_Sometimes toys break; even your favorite ones. Same thing for people too. _

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious or any of the characters**_

Jade's POV

_It's Monday already, and I'm not okay. _I groan as I let my head fall onto my dining room table. I hate this so much. _I was doing pretty good I thought. I got rid of damn near everything in this house that reminds me of Beck, except the stuff that just __**has**__ to be here. Like the couch, my room, the bathroom, the fridge, the counters in the kit- God damn it! _"**UGH**… What's wrong with me?" I mumble into the dark wood beneath my face. _Nothing, this is natural._ "Shut up." I just puff out a breath in annoyance. _Stupid Beck, stupid emotions, stupid… Stuff! _I sit up, no longer being able to run these circles in my head. I look at the glass of apple juice that's sitting on a napkin next to me. I simply stare at the glass, watching the condensation run down the glass, hitting the napkin causing the slightly darker area of the white surface to increase in size. _Talk to someone._ I practically growl at this thought. It's been popping into my head all day, but it just sounds like **such **a bad idea. I curse silently as I grab my glass, standing up to go to the living room.

_The scissoring, ah, such a beautiful movie. _I think as I'm opening said movie's case, preparing to watch it. _The plot line is just so… **Beautiful**. _I smile as I can't think of any other words to describe this movie, other than that one. I watch the DVD player takes my movie, as I begin to wait for it to start reading the disk. I can't help the smile that crawls onto my face as clips from the movie play on the main menu. _Blood. There's a lot of blood in this movie. The best part about the gore? It doesn't look __**too**__ fake. I hate that so much. When there's a scary movie and they want to scare you with big show cases so much, that they ignore the small details that start to add up. Such as the wire that you can so obviously see as the hero is lifted to the monsters jaws, or when the hero will start bleeding just a fraction of a second before the knife impales his back- _I mentally shut up as the opening credits come to an end. _Here we go. _I think, trying to keep from bouncing out of my seat on the couch with excitement.

* * *

"We learned this early on y'know… It's almost as if, we're all raised to do this, but only a few of us hear the call." The villain taunts, smiling madly at the tied up hero as she runs a blade of her scissors across the dotted line she just drew on the heroine's neck.

"You sick fuck! Let us go! You know you don't want to do this!" The hero yells at the scissor wielding woman, attempting to weasel their way out of this with his words as I lean forward in my seat, preparing to mouth the words along with her.

"Now, now, there's really no need for name calling is there?" She asks, managing to look genuinely hurt. "Now, back to the point at hand. You see-" She pauses dramatically, her smile growing even more. "Ha, get it? 'point at hand'? I'll have to remember that one." She says, shaking her head slightly at her own pun.

"Fuck you." The hero spits out, staring venom filled hatred at the woman.

"As I was saying," she continues, completely ignoring him. "We've heard it since we started school." She pauses again, casting one last glance towards him before she reaches out and harshly grabs the heroine's chin, forcing her to look up at her. This results in her giving a muffled sob as more tears streamed down her face, only to be caught my the gag that was keeping her from making too much noise. "**Cut along the dotted line." **She says in a nasally voice, mocking teachers all across the country. She then reaches down and gently caresses the girl's face with the edge of a blade once more. I lean forward more, anticipating the blood bath that's sure to follow. Then with a lovely sickening sound she begins cutting through her throat, blood instantly going everywhere as her dying, choking sobs reach a peak. The bound up hero's screaming at her to stop, but she's completely absorbed in her work. After she throws down the now headless corpse of her latest victim, she then turns her bloodied face towards the crying man. "Any last words?" She asks, with a sickening sweet voice after what just happened, and I **fucking** love it.

"Go to hell bitch." He spits out as more tears begin to stream down his face. If you look close enough, you can see the fear finally set in, the "Holy shit. I'm going to die. No dramatic saving, no, I'm screwed." Settling in, nice and cozy in his eyes. She just laughs mercilessly as she begins walking towards him, the camera closing in on her back until the screen blacks out. Then you hear the sounds of tearing flesh, his blood curdling screams, the splattering of his blood against the floor, then her laughing. Cue credits.

_I love this movie. _

* * *

I lay on the couch, the main menu clips still playing on the TV in the background as I stare at the ceiling. _I should probably go get some coffee before I start going through withdrawals… But I don't feel up to, so, maybe later. _I glance over at the TV, smiling before grabbing the remote and turning everything off. I sit up, grab my now empty glass and head towards the kitchen to get a refill. With a full glass, I lean against the door of the fridge as I begin to indulge in the amazing liquid that is apple juice. _Talk to someone Jade, you can't just… Repress this. It's not going to go away on its own. _I scoff aloud. _The hell I can't, and watch it go away. _I roll my eyes, push myself off of the fridge and begin to go to my room. I open my door and smile as I can barely detect Beck's scent in, what **should** be my safe place. _Wish I had some school work to take my mind of all this. _I shoot a small glare at my school bag, as if it's its fault that I had nothing to do. _Hmm… _I begin to worry my bottom lip between my teeth, grimacing a little as my teeth easily cut into the raw flesh there. I walk over to my computer desk, setting my glass down as I begin to look through all of my objects that sit on my shelf.

I have a goat skull at the far right end of the shelf from a field trip we took in the third grade. _The teachers loved that so much. _I think, rolling my eyes at the memory of them trying to convince me to put it down somewhere, even going as far to threaten to call her parents. I kept the skull and they didn't call, knowing that they didn't have a leg to stand on. Multiple rocks, big and small that all have fossil impressions in them. A human skull that Cat had given me as a present from her brother one year. _From her brother... I highly doubt it's not real that being the case. _Oddly enough, this thought makes me smile. There's multiple things on my shelf, but my favorite part would have to be my person arsenal of scissors, going back to the very begging. At the far left end you can see a pair of small plastic scissors. My parents had given them to me as a toddler, back then they had been awful looking. One blade being a sick nursery yellow, the other being a grotesque baby blue. I had quickly located a paint brush and painted them solid black. _All at the brilliant age of three. _I couldn't remember doing all of that, although I do remember getting them, holding them and loving them instantly, despite their awful colors, and thinking that they were absolutely perfect once I had painted them. My mom told me about the details that I was too young to remember about my little adventure. I reach a hand out to pick them up, almost tenderly, as I reach down, into my pants to grab my favorite scissors that are hidden there. I hold them side by side noting the five-inch difference between the two. The then and now of my collection. I smile gently as I set down my old scissors and replace my favorite pair to their rightful place.

_Talk to someone damn you! _I sigh heavily, dropping my head into my hand, dragging it down my face tiredly. _Fine. Fucking fine! Who should I talk to smart guy? Mom? Yeah, that'd work! _I mentally yell at myself. _Who could I talk to about this…? Do I even really need to?_ I look around my room as if I'd find the answers written on my walls. _Yes. _I clench my fists at this thought. _I don't need to talk to anyone. I don't need anyone for anything period. _I state firmly, crossing my arms. _Am I really doing this again? _I think exasperatedly before flopping down in my computer chair. _I haven't been online in awhile, maybe it'll take my mind off of things. _I think fleetingly as I type in the web address for TheSlap. I bring up the window and feel my heart jump into my throat, threatening to choke me.

"Jade West is **single**." I read the words over and over again, each time hoping that I was reading it wrong. _I need to talk to someone. _I exit out of the window as quickly as I can, then turn off my computer completely, as if that'd make it go away. _But who? Cat? No, I highly doubt she'd do anything other than frustrate me and make me hurt her feelings… Andre? He'd be willing but, he's Beck's friend more so than mine, so no. Rob- **God no. **_I sigh heavily, shaking my head, not even believing what I'm thinking of doing. "There's got to be someone else!" I whisper, but the longer I try to think of someone, the blurrier my vision becomes with the tears that are threatening to spill over. _God damn it! _I slam my fists down onto my knees, squeezing my eyes shut, trying to block out the tears. _Tori could help me. Tori __**would **__help me. _I correct myself, thinking of all the times I've asked her for help and she's jumped up, completely willing to do so to her full ability. I take deep breaths as I debate whether or not to text her, or just go, or I don't know. Thinking about going to her, showing her how heart-broken I am fills me with so many emotions that it's hard to process. So I don't. Instead, I all but throw myself onto my bed, burying my face into my pillow, and cry until I'm asleep.

* * *

I suddenly wake up, and instantly wish I hadn't as I'm crushed by a sudden sadness that instantly causes tears to cloud my vision. _Talk to Tori._ I angrily shake my head, but more tears begin to flow from my eyes. _Fine, okay, I'll talk to Vega! _I offer, hoping it'll somehow help stop the seemingly endless flow of tears. _Then get up. _I just shake my head at myself, knowing that I really should quit talking to myself as if I were two different people. _Tomorrow. _The other part of my mind just huffs an exasperated sigh at me, but she shuts up so I guess she'll take it, knowing it's better than nothing. Surprisingly, my crying quickly slows, and with that small victory, I fall into s small coma.

* * *

A/N: Wow, my mind wouldn't let me sleep until I got this chapter written and posted, hope y'all like it. Guess what happens in the VERY near future! * drum roll* Tori and Jade actually start communicating! (What? In this Jori story? No!) /shot/ No, but seriously, I'm sorry it's taken so long to set up this story for their actual relationship, but I honestly feel it was necessary,** so** :D Oh, and I wanted to thank you guys for the reviews, favorites, and follows I've (the story's) gotten, it actually means a lot to me, and I can't thank you guys enough :) Please don't forget to review, it makes me smile and encourages me to update sooner :D


	7. Chapter 7

_Sometimes toys break; even your favorite ones. Same thing for people too. _

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious or any of the characters. I don't own "Stand Up" either, that belongs to Trapt.**_

Tori's POV

_I can barely sit still. I wonder how she'll look… Or if she'll sound any different. Does dying like this change you? It would have to right? I don't really know… _I shake my head, for the first time noticing the metallic taste of blood I must've caused from chewing my bottom lip. I switch to chewing the inside of my cheek as I lean my head against the car window. I try to distract myself from the visit I'm about to have with my grandma by thinking of random things. _I really wish I had some orange juice. _I don't know why, but lately, if I have a glass of it, it's as if everything in the world is okay. I unfortunately drank the last of it yesterday. Trina had offered to take me to get some, but with it having been Monday, I was afraid that I'd bump into one of my friends as they were trying to milk the rest of our three day weekend. Dad had said that I'd be able to get some at the hospital. _Dad… _He's been watching me constantly since Sunday. I had gone out of my way to stay downstairs yesterday, wanting to make it seem like I wasn't just shutting myself off in my room, but either he didn't notice, or he just ignored it. He had offered me food a total of eight times yesterday, I turned him down every time. I couldn't help it, I just wasn't hungry. I know I should be, having not eaten a single thing in two days, but I'm not. I realize the taste of blood has increased in my mouth, then I notice the pain that's radiating off of my now, bleeding cheek. _My whole mouth's going to look like hamburger meat if I don't quit this. _I sigh heavily, beginning to twiddle my fingers instead, still gazing out the window, watching houses, businesses, and cars fly by.

"You okay back there?" My dad asks, glancing in his rearview mirror. I have to physically restrain myself from rolling my eyes at him.

"Yeah Dad." I say, then immediately begin digging in my jacket pockets for my phone and my headphones. He sees this and lets the conversation drop there, but I can feel the worry practically rolling off of him. _Treating me like a mental patient doesn't help anything Dad! _I mentally yell at him, shaking my head to clear my mind as I put my ear buds in and hit shuffle on my phone. "Stand Up" by Trapt began blaring through my ears, running out all my thoughts. I turn my head to face out the window again, trying my hardest to ignore my dad's gaze from the mirror that's burning holes in the side of my head. _Why isn't he watching Trina like he's watching me?_ I frown at this. _Yesterday he wouldn't leave me alone, but he didn't completely ignore her either… _I shake my head, realizing that I'm thinking again. I close my eyes and let myself drown in the music that's flooding my mind.

* * *

The hospital looms over me, casting a dark shadow across the parking lot. _It's actually kinda scary… _I pull out my ear buds, and shove them into my pocket while doing the same with my phone.

"Okay girls, remember, your grandma's probably pretty emotional right now, so I can't really tell y'all what to expect. Just, don't be expecting her, to be like she usually is okay guys? I'd hate for y'all to get disappointed." Dad tells us, while looking at the tall building towering in front of us.

"Yeah Dad." Trina and I reply automatically. Glancing at each other smiling a bit, we reach out and grab a hold of each other's hands.

Here we go then." Dad says as he begin walking towards the hospital. Trina and I falling into step behind him and I can feel Trina squeezing my hand enough to cut off the circulation, so I just squeeze her hand once in a reassuring gesture. She looks over to me, smiling a little, a silent "Thank you" written in her eyes. _Here we go then. _

* * *

"Mom!" Trina practically yells as we see our mother standing in the hallway, looking tired as she's talking to a woman who must be the doctor. She lets go of my hand and begins jogging towards her. Dad looks back at me, wondering if I'll do the same I guess. I smile at him and reach out to grab his hand. He looks surprised at first, but then gives my hand a squeeze and turns back to look in front of us as I fall into step beside him now. I watch as Trina all but tackles our mother, crushing her in a tight hug as my mom gently wraps her arms around Trina's back. The doctor looks away from them, instead turning her gaze to my father and I.

"Ah, you must be her husband?" The doctor asks with a small smile on her face as she shuffles her clipboard into one hand so that she can extend the other out to shake Dad's.

"Yes, David Vega, nice to meet you-" He lets the end of his sentence trail off, not knowing how to finish it.

"Oh, excuse me, Dr. Eliot Baily." She says, seeming abashed that she forgot to state her name for proper introductions.

"Well nice to meet you Dr. Baily." My dad, ever the gentleman, said, finishing his slightly awkward handshake with the doctor. Then she turns to me, still smiling. _I wanna get rid of that smile so bad. _I just smile back at her, extending my hand out to her.

"I'm Tori Vega, that's my sister Trina. She'd introduce herself, but it's been awhile since we've seen our mom, so she's occupied." I greet, still smiling as she shakes my hand.

"Ah yes, and, as you already know, I'm Dr. Baily." She says, looking almost awkward at having to say it again. _Really? Never would've guessed. _I drop her hand and my smile as I step around her to get to my mother. I hear Dr. Baily and my father begin to converse again but I don't pay attention to what's said, my concentration being on the door behind my mother and sister. I'm suddenly aware of how close I am to my grandma, and at how far away I feel at the same time. I blink away the thought, instead focusing on my mother who's trying to help Trina stop crying. I walk up to them, not exactly knowing who to hug. Trina looks up and sees me, instantly leaving our mother's embrace and wrapping me in hers. I hug her, just as I have been for the past two days whenever she breaks, rubbing a circle on her shoulder with one hand, gently patting her back with the other. I look at my mom who looks shocked and hurt a little before she shakes her head and looks over at me, meeting my eyes for the first time since Saturday morning. I see all of her emotions as if they were set out on a table, just to be seen and read. Pain, loss, worry, tired, and guilt. _Guilt? Why would she feel guilty? _

"How've you been honey?" My mom asks, stepping closer to us, resting a hand on Trina's back, helping me console her.

"Fine, what about you?" I answer, still wondering why she'd feel guilty.

"I've been okay…" She looks down at this, she clears her throat before she goes on, "What've you been up to?" She asks, smiling at me. I debate that for a moment. _What have I been doing? Sleeping, hanging out with Trina, ignoring all of my friends' texts, not eating, worrying Dad, and trying to keep myself from crying. I don't exactly think she'd want to hear that. _

"Hanging out with Trina mostly." I reply, giving her a small smile before I redirect the question at her. She just looks at me, eyes glazing over for a spilt second before I see the guilt that was there explode across her eyes. Before I can question her about it though her eyes become unreadable. I try to look into them again, to see if I could try to decode her emotions, but she won't let me in. Her eyes are about as see through as a steel door now.

"Nothing." She replies, almost sounding defensive. Trina must've heard this too because she lifts her head from my shoulder and looks at our mother with a quizzical expression. Mom just looks at both of us before she shrugs her shoulders. "I've just been here and at the hotel, not much to report." She says, this time sounding more run down that defensive. This is enough to convince Trina as she turns back around to put her head back on my shoulder, so I let it go too. _I don't know… That seemed a little off to me… _I jump slightly as I feel a hand press itself against my lower back, only to realize it's just Dad.

"How is she?" Dad asks, looking at my mother with a gentle expression.

"Just about as you'd expect I suppose." She answers, all emotion suddenly void from her voice. She almost sounds rude now.

"Mom, have you been getting enough sleep?" Trina suddenly asks as she takes a deep breath and lets go of me to stand on her own.

"Uh, yes, why do you ask?" She answers, casting glances at the three of us, as if Dad or I knew something she didn't.

"You sound mad that's all, and since there's no reason to be mad at Dad, I was just wondering." She replies, wiping the remnants of her earlier tears from beneath her eyes. I look at Mom just in time to catch a glance of the guilt from earlier flash across her eyes before it's gone. She sighs heavily, shaking her head before looking back at Dad.

"You're right Trina, I'm sorry David, I didn't mean to sound cross with you." She answers, genuinely looking sorry.

"It's fine, you have a lot going on right now." He offers up, trying to let her know she's forgiven.

"True, but still, that's no excuse." She replies firmly, as if trying to convince herself. Suddenly a cleared throat behind us draws all our attentions.

"Sorry to interrupt, but I thought you might want to hear this." Dr. Baily says, looking slightly embarrassed, but somewhat happy too. "We've looked at the test results and we've concluded that it's lymphoma." She says, looking brighter by the second. After a few awkward moments have past I hear Trina clear her throat.

"Uh, and that's a- good thing?" She asks, tilting her head to the side, not quite grasping why the doctor looked happy. I don't either, so I know what she means.

"Lymphoma has a 98% success rate. If you're going to get a cancer, this is the one to get." She replies, trying to get the point across that my grandma's probably going to live through this. "Granted, it'll take some doing, but it looks fairly good for her." She reinforces, smiling a little, waiting for our reactions.

"T-That's great!" I say, turning to face Trina who seems to still be processing this all. "Guys! W-We have to tell her, she's strong, she can do it!" I say, grabbing my dad's shoulders and shaking them slightly. _She's going to live._ My dad blinks down at me and then smiles as he wraps me in a huge hug. I hear my mom exhale a shaky breath that soon turns into a laugh of relief. Trina just squeals as she hugs Mom. _She's going to live. _I'm suddenly so happy that I can't even fathom the idea of being **depressed**, what a silly thing that would be. _She's going to live. _

"Let's go tell her!" Dad says enthusiastically, already turning towards her room with me still in his arms. He carries me there and I hear Mom and Trina following us. _She's going to live. "a 98% success rate.", what if she's the two percent? _My smile falters and I can almost physically feel myself sway along with my rising hopes. _No, that's __**fucking **__retarded! My grandma's going to live, and we're going to love and support her through this all the way. _I mentally say, banishing all negative thoughts from my mind as my hope continues to raise. _She's going to live. _

* * *

I practically fall into bed. The hospital visit had been really good since we received the good news. Seeing my grandma had been a little shocking to say the least. She had looked so frail in the hospital gown, with all that machinery hooked up to her. Grandpa had been hunched over in his chair that was close to her bedside. Hearing our arrival they both looked at us, smiles taking place of the frowns that had been there. Grandpa immediately stood up to greet us, then we had walked over to Grandma's bed to see her. Dad had told them the good news which made Grandpa cry a little with relief. Grandma just laid there before she smiled and asked when they were going to get to work. This had made us all laugh. Dr. Baily had come in to tell us the schedule for the removal of the cancer tumors and then after that how they'd start chemo and radiation to try to keep them from coming back. I had studied Grandma's face that whole time, reading the emotions that played across it before she had time to hide them. The whole time determination was the dominant thing there. I sigh contently as I roll over to hug my pillow to me.

_Too bad Mom still didn't come home. _I frown slightly. If everything's going to be okay, why wouldn't she come home with us? After we received the good news, Mom had spent about half of the time texting on her phone. Trina had asked who she was texting, but Mom simply ignored the question. _She was acting so weird today…_ I shrug my shoulders a little, refusing to let my mother's behavior dampen my mood. _She's going to live. _I repeat this until I feel my eyelids growing heavy, and I'm almost asleep when I hear my doorbell.

* * *

A/N: Yeah! I got to write a happier chapter! :D Hmm, wonder who could possibly be at the door? And why was Holly acting so weird? Hmm, we'll just have to wait to find out. Oh, and a very special thank you to, TotallyJorixoXo for naming our lovely awkward doctor. :D Please don't forget to review and I hope you liked this chapter because I had fun writing it. :)


	8. Chapter 8

_Sometimes toys break; even your favorite ones. Same thing for people too. _

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious or any of the characters. I also don't own McDonald's. Or "Titanium" which belongs to David Guetta & Sia **_

Jade's POV

_What am I doing? You're getting the help that you need, so quit your bitching and ring the doorbell. _I watch my right hand as it raises up to the circular button that's glowing a bright orange in front of me. I stop it just as it touches the glowing surface. _It's pretty late… Maybe I should just come back. _I sigh heavily, dropping my head and hand simultaneously. I had been putting this off all day, not even bothering to go to school. Instead I had spent today trying to talk myself out of coming to see Vega, not really wanting to show her how I am right now, but I kept failing at proving to myself that I didn't really need any help. I practically growl at my self as I shuffle my feet. _I didn't even change. Great, not only did I show up, but in my pajama's to boot. Way to go West. _I inhale deeply before I reach for the doorbell again. _Okay, on three, one, two, three. _My hand doesn't apply any pressure to the button beneath it. _Three. _Still nothing. I glare at my finger, then roll my eyes. _This is stupid, I should be able to do this. _I stand there with my head bowed, silently cursing at myself for awhile until I build up the courage to ring the stupid bell. _Okay okay, on three. One, tw- _The door opens to reveal a disheveled and tired looking Vega. _When did I ring the bell? _

"Jade?" Tori asks, looking like I was the last person she had been expecting. I hear concern dripping from her voice. Suddenly my throat closes up as tears begin to cause Tori's figure to blur.

"Vega." I force out, my voice surprisingly not breaking. She doesn't say anything, instead she steps aside, silently inviting me in. I step inside her house quickly, crossing my arms defensively as I do. I don't turn around until I hear the door close behind me.

"C'mon." Tori gently commands as she turns to go to the stairs. I silently follow along, playing out scenarios of this situation as we make our way to her room. _Wonder if she's moved anything around._ My answer comes quickly as we enter her room shortly after my thought. _Nope, still Tori's room. _Although, I can't help but feel that something's different. I'm not quite sure, but there is something off. She quickly makes her bed before she gestures with her hand for me to have a seat on it. I silently walk over to her, kicking off my shoes next to her desk before taking her offer, casting my glance down towards the floor. We sit there in silence, her not asking any questions, and me being grateful for that. I inhale deeply before I say anything.

"Hey." I offer up lamely, glancing up at her for the first time since I had sat down. She smiles a little at this.

"Hey." She replies, giving me a small wave as she says this.

"What're you up to at-" I glance around her room looking for a clock. I find her PearPod dock atop her dresser that has a clock on it. "1:37 in the morning?" I ask, almost feeling embarrassed at coming over this late.

"Oh y'know, just laying in bed." She says, trying to restrain a smile. I just nod my head at that. She sighs as she runs a hand through her hair. "Jade, I don't mean to pry, but-" She lets the rest of her sentence go unsaid as she gestures with her hands that she wants me to say something. I smile sadly at this. _I come over at 1:37 in the morning, don't explain why, and she's still too nice to intrude my privacy. I really don't deserve this from her. Especially with all the shit I've done to her. _I shake my head a little, needing to focus my mind.

"I need to talk to someone." I reply, hating having to say it aloud, but it still being true nevertheless. _She at least deserves my honesty I think. _

"About what?" She asks gently, titling her head a little. I take my bottom lip between my teeth before I answer. I open my mouth to tell her, but all that comes out is a sob. I have no idea where it came from, but there it is, soon followed by a stream of tears that prevent me from replying. I suddenly feel the bed dip as she leans over to put a hand on my shoulder. "Can I give you a hug?" She asks, still ever so respectful of my personal preferences of how to do things. _Please._ I just simply nod my head. I feel the bed dip again as her arms wrap around me from the side in her best attempts at a hug given our positions. I want to bury my face in her shoulder but it'd be more of a hassle than a comfort this way. As another sob rips from my throat I decide that I suddenly don't care how weak I look at this given moment. I practically pick her up, pulling her onto my lap so that I can hug her easier. If she has any protests, she doesn't voice them, she just readjusts her grip on me, tightening it slightly.

"H-He dumped me." I cry into her shoulder as I almost frantically grab at her shirt, almost afraid that she'd let go. She doesn't say anything for a moment, and I begin to wonder if she heard me.

"Why?" She asks quietly, beginning to stroke the back of my head in a calming gesture. I just shake my head, burying my face into the crook of her neck so that I could maybe breath easier.

"He said s- so that our futures were open." I reply, hearing the hurt and confusion in my own voice that accompanies these words.

"What does that mean?" She questions, pulling back slightly to look me in the eye. I just look at her and laugh bitterly.

"You tell me." I say, looking down, ashamed that I had bawled in front of her. I feel her hand under my chin suddenly, gently urging me to look up at her.

"Sounds pretty stupid if you ask me." She says, smiling sadly. I just give a short laugh at this.

"Yeah that's what I thought." I reply bitterly, unable to stop the small smile that crawls across my face. "I just-" I stop, biting my lip again, managing to almost completely stop my tears. "I just don't know what I did." I finish, sounding all in the world like a small child who's pissed off their parents.

"Hey, you can't think that this is you-" She stops mid-sentence, eyebrows drawing down slightly as she begins to chew her lip. "Well, what **exactly** happened?" She asks, looking slightly abashed.

"We were on a date, it was Saturday night, we had just got done watching a movie, and before we got in the truck he- he broke up with me." I say, kind of embarrassed at how utterly pathetic it sounds.

"And there weren't any arguments?" She questions, studying my face. I just shake my head. "Well then no, you can't think this is your fault." She says determinedly. "Sorry, but I didn't want to say it if it hadn't been the truth." She states honestly, looking almost ashamed that she had even thought that this was my fault.

"At least you're honest." I say, knowing for a fact that if the positions were reversed, had I even let her in my house, I would've done the same thing. "Although, I kind of thought you'd already know." I say, thinking back to my relationship status. She looks at me quizzically.

"And why would you think that?" She asks as she makes to get off my lap. _I hadn't even realized she was still there. _

"It's on TheSlap and seemed to be the biggest story on there." I say, venom practically dripping off of my words as I recall all the likes on it, the insincere comments, and the posts that were on my wall from guys hoping to be my rebound. Now standing up, she looks down at the floor.

"Oh. I uh, haven't been on in awhile, sorry." She replies, almost seeming ashamed. I'm honestly surprised at this. Usually Tori's constantly updating her status, almost to the point where it's annoying.

"Any particular reason?" I ask, surprised that I cared enough to do so. She just looks up from the floor to me, chewing her lip.

"Been busy." She replies, almost sounding defensive. Suddenly I desperately want to know what's been keeping her from the rest of the world.

"You uh, you know you can tell me if you want." I offer up lamely, not being an expert at the whole friendly bit. She raises an eyebrow at me, silently questioning my odd behavior. I simply stare at her, refusing to let any emotion show on my face.

"Do you wanna stay the night?" She suddenly asks, an emotion becoming visible in her eyes but I can't tell what it is. Conflict maybe? I don't know.

"Sure yeah, that'd be nice." I answer, smiling slightly at her. She just smiles brightly at me, looking almost relieved. She opens her mouth to say something, but quickly closes it.

"What were you gonna say?" I ask as she turns to go to her PearPod dock and begins messing with the PearPod that's perched there.

"I was gonna ask you if you wanted some orange juice, but then I remembered that I was out." She replies, sounding disappointed, whilst walking away from the music player just as a soft melody to a song I've never heard before begins to play. I don't really know what to say to that so I just hum in response. "Are you sleepy?" She asks as she starts to walk towards the light switch next to her door before making her way back to where I'm sitting. Suddenly I'm aware of just how heavy my eyelids are.

"Yeah." I reply, just as a yawn makes its way out of my mouth. She laughs a little, as if I'd done it on purpose.

"Well then scoot over." She commands playfully before gently pushing my shoulder. I oblige, moving so that we could both lay down. "I'm here if you need anything, goodnight Jade." Tori says a few moments after us just laying there.

"Okay, uh, thanks Vega." I reply, so unused to being this touchy-feely with anyone other than Beck. _See? Don't you feel better now? _Honestly I do. So much better it's unbelievable, but I'm more tired than anything, and before I know it I'm asleep.

* * *

I wake up because I'm crying again. _Damn it. _I reach up to wipe away the tears that are bound to be on my face, but am shocked when I find none. I blink a few times before I can confirm it. _I'm not crying… Then who the hell? _I roll over only to realize that I'm not in my bed. This isn't even my room. Then it comes back to me. _That's right, I'm at Vega's house… But, if I'm here, and I'm not the one crying then- _I hear another muffled sob. Suddenly I realize it's Tori. I debate whether or not to say anything. _I should probably just roll back over and go to sleep. She held you as you cried, you could at least ask what's wrong you ass! _I huff in annoyance at that thought.

"Tori? Hey, what's wrong?" I ask gently as I prop myself up on my elbow while running a hand through my hair. She doesn't answer, instead she just continues her quiet crying. _You could at least say something… I hate being ignored. _"Tori, say something at least, here I am being nice and asking, and you're ignoring me. Not cool." I say, hearing the slight harshness in my voice. Still no reply other than her crying. "Vega!" I whisper harshly, putting my hand out to grab and shake her shoulder. She just continues crying and that's when I realize it. _She's still asleep. She's crying in her sleep. _Suddenly I have the urge to wake her up, I sit up almost frantically, shuffling onto my knees before I reach out and roll her over onto her back. "Hey, Vega! C'mon, wake up! It's just a bad dream, c'mon wake up!" I whisper urgently while shaking her, back and forth. Her eyes suddenly open and look at me, full of tears. Without even thinking about it I sit her up and envelope her in a hug.

Her arms wrap around me, holding onto me as if her life suddenly depends on it. _Like me earlier. _She buries her face into my shoulder suddenly crying so hard I was afraid she'd ruin her throat. I have the fleeting hope that she doesn't wake anyone up. I glance behind us to try and see her clock. _4:33? Too early for people to be awake, so she's going to have to quiet down just a bit. _I begin to rub a small circle on her lower back with one hand while cradling her head with the other. "Shh, it's okay Tori." I say, almost not wanting to. It obviously wasn't okay if she's crying like this. _What's wrong? _

"I- I keep telling myself that, b-but I'm still worried!" Tori practically yells, but it was muffled by my shoulder.

"Shh, you're gonna wake everyone up Vega." I say as softly as possible. She suddenly jerks back, not out of my hold, but enough to look up at me. Her eyes look scared suddenly.

"Oh my god you're right!" She says, bringing her hands up to her face, frantically trying to wipe away her tears. "I-If they found me like this-" Tori stops herself mid-sentence, taking a deep breath in an attempt to calm down. _Why can't her family see her cry? _

"What wrong with them seeing you crying?" I ask timidly, in completely foreign territory suddenly. She abruptly grows eerily silent, I can feel her tense up, as if she's thinking about bolting out the door. I place my hands on her shoulders, my grip slightly tighter than it should be, just in case. She looks up at me, her eyes practically screaming for help, and I'd be lying if I said that it didn't make my heart twinge a little. _I'm so used to the bright smiling Tori who's cheerfulness could only be rivaled by that of the sun's itself… Not this crying mess, silently begging for help. _Suddenly I feel like I'm in too deep. Almost as if whatever's crushing Tori is crushing me. I have the sudden urge to get up and leave. Walk out her front door, get in my car, and drive away, never thinking about this situation again. _But I can't. I can't just leave her like this._ I internally sigh trying to keep from physically running my hand over my face. _I'm not usually like this… What the hell? I bet it's just because it's Tori. Aside from Beck, she's been the only person to see very much emotion from me. Damn it. _"You know you can tell me." I say, shocked by how true those words suddenly were. She could tell me, and I'd sit here and listen and honestly try to help her. _This is a new development. What Lane wouldn't give to know about it. _I almost smirk at this.

"Jade- I'm-" She starts, still looking at me with pleading brown eyes. She takes a deep breath, casting her eyes down.

"Hey, take your time, it's cool." I reassure gently, although my patience is beginning to wear thin. _Good to see I haven't completely changed. _She takes a deep breath and releases it in a shaky laugh.

"She's dying Jade." Tori whispers so quietly I'm barely able to catch it. I'm about to ask what she's talking about when she suddenly looks up at me so fast I'm afraid she'd get whiplash. "She's dying, but- but she's going to live, and- I'm just so scared Jade!" she says, voice growing in volume with each word as she shifts to sit on her knees like me. She leans forward and grabs at my shoulders as she's moving, trying to convey the urgency that she was feeling. _What the shit is she talking about? _

"Who's dying Tori?" I try to ask gently, but my waning patience is almost gone as she continues to make no sense. She suddenly looks at me fiercely, a determined look on her face. Then it's gone and she's looking at me as if she's just failed miserably at something. This continues on for quite some time before she finally sighs heavily, that defeated look donning her face again.

"Jade… I- I'm going to tell you something okay? I haven't told anyone yet, and you already know more about it than anyone who's not in this family." She says sternly, as if she's giving me instructions. "You cannot, I repeat **cannot **tell anyone, and so help me God, if you make fun of me for anything-" I cut her off.

"Tori, the main things I know right now are, one, you were just crying, and two, someone's dying. As messed up as I am, I don't really find any of the above humorous. Especially since I'm not the reason you're crying." I give her a smirk and wink with my last sentence, trying to offer her comfort with some familiarity. I think it works because after she inspects my face momentarily she gives me a small laugh. _Better than her bawling. _

"Will you take me to go get some orange juice?" She asks in a small voice. I'm torn between laughing and growling at her.

"Sure Vega, 4:58 in the morning, let's go make a juice run." I answer, getting up then holding my hand out for her to take. She smiles sheepishly as she takes my hand and I pull her up off the bed. "I'll be outside in the car." I tell her, already heading out of her room. I want to give her some time to sort out her thoughts and such, that way she doesn't feel **as** pressured to tell me. _Funny that I give a shit. Well… She did say something about someone dying, so- this is different. Yeah, I'm still __**me**__ for listening to her about this. Doesn't mean I hate her any less. Well, I guess if I was completely honest with myself then I wouldn't say "hate" per say. Although, her always chipper attitude annoys the ever living shit out of me, I still don't __**hate**__ her for it. _I sigh heavily, not exactly knowing what I'm getting myself into right now as I open my car door. I flop into the driver's seat and rest my head against the steering wheel. _It's way too early for this… What the hell is even open at this time? _I stick my key in the ignition, starting my car as I sit there thinking of where Vega could get orange juice and where I could get some apple juice from this early. _At least it's still dark. _I smile a little at this. I love driving at night. If anyone asked why, I'd answer somewhere along the lines of, "Less witnesses at night" or "Better company at the parks". Anything to make them uncomfortable and drop the subject. In reality though, it's because I love the way everything's lit up and prettier at night. The dark hiding some of the blemishes from sight. The passenger door opening is what draws me from my thoughts.

"Thank you Jade." Tori says as she sits down, instantly reaching for her seatbelt. _Good. I hate it when people don't buckle up, it annoys the shit out of me. Then again, a lot of things do…_

"Yeah no problem." I reply honestly as I put the car in reverse, beginning to back out of her driveway. Nothing more is said as we drive down her street, away from her house.

"You mind?" She suddenly asks as she gestures with her hand towards the radio. _Yes. My car, my stereo. _The only person who's ever touched my radio without physical harm befalling them has been Beck.

"Naw, go ahead." I reply, blinking in surprise at myself. _The hell did I say that for? _She's already touching it though, and surprisingly I don't want to impale her with my scissors for it.

"Thanks." She says as she continues to fiddle with it. "I know I hate it when people mess with my radio without permission, so I had to ask." She says for some unknown reason.

"Didn't think you had your license yet." I reply, glancing sideways at her for a moment before redirecting my attention to the road.

"I don't, I meant like, in my room." She replies, sounding almost embarrassed. I just hum as a sign that I understood.

So here we are, driving through a still sleeping city, wasting time so that McDonald's can get off its lazy ass and open up, Tori waiting to spill her guts to me, and me actually wanting to know what's bothering her. _Can't say I called this yesterday when I woke up. _There's a thousand thoughts racing through my head, all being possibilities of what's bugging Tori, but I don't voice a single one. If the roles were reversed and she began questioning me before I was ready, then it'd cause me to completely shut down and all chances of me telling her would be out the window. So I just keep driving, bobbing my head along with the song on the radio that Tori tells me is, "Titanium", wondering what today could possibly have in store for me if this was how it was starting out. _Maybe I can get a cup of coffee too…_

* * *

A/N: Jade's taking her to get orange juice! The best friend ever if you ask me :D I tried to keep Jade as in character as I could, but I don't think I nailed it exactly *drops face onto keyboard* I tried! DX Just a heads up, in the upcoming chapter(s) there's gonna be a fairly large time lapse so thing's will start progressing better. Oh! And you guys had some pretty good guesses as far as Holly's concerned! :) I enjoyed seeing what y'all thought. That's probably all for now though, so bye! :) Please don't forget to review and let me know what you think! :)


	9. Chapter 9

_Sometimes toys break; even your favorite ones. Same thing for people too. _

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious or any of the characters.**_

Tori's POV

"Okay, spit it out Vega, why're we at the park at 6:00 in the morning?" Jade asks, sounding only slightly irritated by the predicament. I chew my lip in thought, casting my glace down towards the cup of orange juice in my hands between my legs as I'm perched atop one of the many stone tables at the park. _Jade had asked if there was somewhere that I would feel more comfortable when I told her what's bothering me… Here we are. Isn't that reason enough? _I shake my head. _Jade took me to get orange juice, and even paid for it, so I should at least be completely honest with her. _I inhale deeply, mentally preparing myself for what's sure to be a very taxing morning. I look up at Jade, who's currently sitting on the bench part of the table to my right. She's just looking at me with her pierced eyebrow raised, silently commanding me to speak.

"You asked if there was somewhere I'd feel more comfortable." I say, waving my hand as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. I can see her smirk before she raises her cup to her mouth, drinking through her straw, turning it a dark yellow color. _Didn't peg her for the apple juice type. _

"As much as you'd like me to accept that bullshit answer, I'm afraid you'll have to give me a decent answer." She replies, her signature smirk still in place. _Well, it's actually kind of an emotion reason so I don't really want to tell you Jade. _I blink a few times in realization. The only reason we're here, is so I can tell Jade what's been bothering me, and that's really emotional. _So why don't I want to tell her this little thing when I'm about to tell her something so much bigger? _I bring my straw to my mouth, drinking deeply to let my juice alleviate me. I close my eyes blissfully as the magical liquid slides down my throat, giving me a slight chill as it does so. _Maybe it's because I don't want to give her too much at once. _That makes sense. I just don't want to suddenly give the girl who hates me all of this ammo she can use against me. _But I have to because she's kind of exactly what I need right now. She won't give me anything sugar coated. _That's the reason I haven't told anyone. I couldn't stand all of their fake sympathy. _Jade wouldn't give me any of that. _I smile at this, she may be blunt, but that's what I need right now. I set my cup off to the side before I begin to speak.

"My parents used to take Trina and I here to play when we were younger. Trina and I would be on a team, and we'd run and climb through everything to try to escape our parents. They'd run after us and end up cornering us somewhere, and then they'd do the unthinkable." I pause for dramatic effect, studying Jade's face to see if she was bored, and was surprised to see that it looked like she was genuinely enthralled. "They'd grab us and hug us and kiss us until we all fell down laughing!" I finish, waving my hands for emphasis of our torture. "But, you know, things changed, we got older, and this is just a place where there's good memories, so I almost feel as if, as long as I'm at the park… I'm safe. I'm safe if I'm in the past where my biggest worry was not getting caught by my parents in a hug." I'm smiling sadly as I finish my sentence, getting lost in the past before reality settles down uncomfortably on top of me. I wait for Jade to say something, but she looks a little taken aback.

"Oh." She finally says, seemingly speechless. Her eyes are glazed over, as if she's not here, but somewhere in her mind.

"Sorry, I know it's kinda boring, but that's why, so…" I shrug, letting my sentence trail off. Suddenly she shakes her head, blinks at me, and looks genuinely scared.

"No, no, no! I wasn't bored, it's just- y'know, I wasn't really… Expecting that." She says hastily, as if she was afraid she'd miss the opportunity to explain.

"Oh, well, what were you expecting?" I ask, not knowing what else to say. She takes her bottom lip between her teeth and chews on it momentarily before answering me.

"I don't really know, but not something that… Personal I guess." She finishes with a tone that makes it sound more like a question than a statement. _Emotional and personal don't really make me think of Jade West, so maybe she's just out of her realm here. _"That was actually… Pretty sweet I guess." She says, looking down and grabbing the back of her neck with one hand awkwardly. This makes me smile. She looks up at me quickly, dropping her hand with her facial expression back to normal, albeit the slight red tinge on her cheeks. "But I'll deny having said that for the rest of my life." She states, her smirk taking its usual place on her face. I just nod at her, showing her that I know she will. We just sit there, looking at each other.

_Should you really tell her the truth Tori? I mean c'mon, Beck just broke up with her, and she was hurting enough to come to you for comfort… Is leaning on her with your petty problems really fair to her? _I frown at this thought. I hadn't really thought of that before, but it's a good point. She's hurting too, and it's about something pretty bad. Her boyfriend of three years, just dumped her, and I'm going to be selfish enough to put my burden on her as well. _I really don't deserve her being nice to me right now. _I tilt my head back, letting it fall back so that I'm looking up at the sky. It's a beautiful hue of light blue mixed in with dark purple. The sun trying to fight away the dark of night.

"Hey Vega, I don't mean to pressure you or anything, but… What's wrong?" Jade asks, startling me slightly by breaking the silence. I don't look at her as I begin speaking.

"I'm not sure if I should tell you anymore… I mean, you've got a lot going on as it is, and, it'd be really selfish of me to put more weight on you…" I say, deciding that honestly usually works best when dealing with Jade. I hear her sigh heavily, and then I hear her moving around. I finally look over at her to see what she's doing, only to find her sitting right next to me now.

"Vega," Jade practically growls, "it **kills** me to say this, but-" She stops mid-sentence, jaw clamping down so fast I can hear her teeth click together. She inhales a sharp breath between her teeth before she continues. "But, I kind of care about what's bothering you, so, spit it out." She finishes, sounding slightly irritated at having to admit she cares. _Holy shit. Jade West just said she cares about me being bothered! _I want to do a victory dance at this for some reason. I don't know why, but her showing friendly traits to me makes me incredibly happy. Maybe it's because she's always pushing me away, and always being mean to me. Well to everyone who wasn't Beck really, but me especially. Her clearing her throat irritably brings my mind back to the subject at hand.

"Are you sure Jade? I'd hate to be a bother." I ask, wanting her to know that she doesn't have to listen to my problems. She rolls her eyes at me.

"God damn Vega, if I wasn't sure, I would've left already." Jade replies, words practically dripping impatience. _Well, here we go I guess…_

"Saturday night, I found out the my grandma had cancer, and the doctors had said it didn't look good. Mom had asked us to be strong for her and for each other. Well, Trina couldn't really handle it, so I needed to be strong for the both of us, well, actually, everyone. I had to be strong Jade." I say, looking over at her, all emotion now gone from her face as she sits there and listens intently. "We couldn't go see her until yesterday, and during that time Trina was having a lot of trouble, so she leaned on me, and Dad was so tired, and Mom wasn't even there to help." As I say this last part, I realize that I'm hurt and almost a little mad at her for not being there to help. _That's stupid, she was at the hospital helping Grandma and Grandpa._ I shake my head to dispel the stupid thought. "When we saw her yesterday, Dr. Baily told us that it was, Lymphoma, which has a 98% chance success rate, so, I should be happy, but I'm scared and I don't know what to do, and I can't cry to Dad, Trina, or Mom because then they'll know that I'm scared and-" I snap my mouth shut as I feel Jade's hand, gently rest on my back and begin to rub small circles and suddenly I realize that I'm sobbing and that I've been yelling. "S-She's going to live Jade. I-I just know it!" I yell, suddenly turning my whole body towards her. "It's gonna be long and tiring yeah, b-but she'll make it." I say this time, my voice lowering in volume. Jade doesn't say anything, instead she places her hand on my shoulder, gently squeezing it. I search her eyes to try and figure out what she's feeling. I find what looks like disapproval, and that just confuses me, so I quit looking for things.

"I'm not gonna say that it'll all be okay because I don't know that but-" She beings to say, but I quickly interrupt her.

"But I do know it Jade! She's going to be fine. It'll all work out and everything is going to be alright!" I manage to say before another sob violently rips out of my throat, causing my whole body to shake. I see that disapproval from before flash across her eyes again as she just gives my shoulder another squeeze.

"Okay Tori, we'll see how this all pans out okay, but um, either way I'll uh- be here for you." Jade offers up, a small awkward smile on her face. I just nod, not really being able to think very well right now. We sit there for a few moments, the only sounds being me trying to get my crying under control. "I uh- I don't mean to undermine anything, but, is that the only thing that's wrong?" She asks, looking at me intently, as if determined to do the whole, caring thing right. _Is it? No. I'm worrying my dad by not eating, but I can't really help it… My mom's acting so strange suddenly, or maybe she's been acting this way and I just never noticed its extent 'til now. I'm not sleeping well anymore. I feel as if my whole person is crashing in around me. How do I say this though? _"Well, that was a good enough way I think." Jade says, a smile on her face that doesn't reach her eyes as she searches my face as if I had an answer to something written on it.

"What?" I ask, not grasping what she meant.

"You said all of that aloud Vega." Jade replies, still studying my facial expression. _Shit, did I really?_

"Oh." Is all that I can think to say, not exactly knowing what to think of what I just did. She inhales deeply before speaking again.

"When's the last time you ate?" Jade asks, sounding bored, but I could actually hear the under current of care under her words.

"Uhh, Saturday?" I reply, knowing that it sounds bad.

"Good God Tori! I'd be worried too if I were your dad! It's Wednesday Vega, it's not healthy to go that long without eating **something**. I don't give a damn if you're not hungry, you're eating something." She finishes, looking very livid at my lack of food consumption. I open my mouth to protest, but she holds up her hand, cutting me off. "It doesn't have to be much, just- something… Please." Jade says, frowning as she adds the last part. I smile slightly at that.

"Only because you said please." I say, smiling still. Jade rolls her eyes.

"Only because you said please." Jade mocks in that damn voice that I sound nothing like.

"I do not talk like that!" I shout incredulously. She just smirks at me.

"Don't you?" She asks in her normal voice now. I just frown and cross my arms. She actually laughs at my display as she scoots off of the table, standing up and stretching as she does so. _She has a really pretty laugh._ I blink in surprise at the thought, but it's true. I'm willing to bet that if you reordered her laugh, it'd sell better than any song.

"Whatever." I mumble, frowning deeper. She just shakes her head at me.

"C'mon Vega, we've got breakfast to get." She says, extending her hand out for me to grab. I do so gladly, noticing the softness of her skin. "Where do you want to eat?" She asks as she grabs her cup that I had all but forgotten about. _I don't want to eat anything Jade. _

"Uh, anywhere is fine." I reply, turning around to grab my cup as well.

"My choice then, okay." She says, a mischievous smile on her face as she turns towards her car. _"I'll uh- be here for you." Jade said that to me. She offered to help me… Why, I have no idea, but you're not supposed to look a gift horse in the mouth right? She let me cry in front of her and that actually helped more that I would've thought. _As I sit down in the passenger seat and reach for my seat belt, I notice the thousand pounds it feels as though I've lifted off of my shoulders. We're driving to god knows where, with the radio on a low volume, and me smiling because I feel so much better for awhile before Jade breaks the semi-silence. "Why me?" She asks, glancing at me momentarily before redirecting her attention to the busy road.

"Why you what?" I ask, genuinely confused by her odd question.

"Out of everyone you could've told, you told me. Why?" She asks, taking her bottom lip between her teeth again.

"I didn't want to tell anyone because I don't want their fake sympathy… And I know that you wouldn't give me that. You'd tell me the truth, whether I liked it or not." I reply honestly, hoping that she wouldn't take it the wrong way. She just smiles, not a harsh smile, or even a sarcastic one, but a genuine smile.

"Fair enough." She says as she reaches for the radio, turning up the volume, signaling that our conversation is now over. I just look out my window, watching as the world passes by, feeling as if I could fly right now. I know everything's not perfect, I mean, my grandma's still sick and all, but I'm not alone now. _"I'll uh- be here for you." _I've heard those words so many times before, but I don't think they've ever meant as much to me as they do now. Jade's going to help me, and my grandma's going to live, and everything's going to be fine. _Yeah._

* * *

__A/N: Ah! Sorry I took awhile on this, but I'd have to honestly say that from now on updates are probably going to have an average of a week in between them. With school starting in a couple of weeks and the fact that I've been at band practice all week (It's gruesome guys) I just haven't had the time, so I'll try to get 1-2 chapters up on the weekends now, other than that, hope you like the chapter... I can honestly say I don't feel this was my best :/ I even rewrote this chapter, and this is the finish product. So... Enjoy, or don't, either way, review and let me know what you think :) Chao! ;)


	10. Chapter 10

_Sometimes toys break; even your favorite ones. Same thing for people too. _

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious or any of the characters, but I do own my beautiful kitty, 'Tard (Yes that's his name) :3**__**  
**_

Jade's POV

_Hope. Hope is nothing but a disease. Unbelievably stealthy, equally fatal, and twice as contagious. You can be infected and not even realize it, and you usually don't until it's too late. Never realizing how high you are until you're falling, plummeting towards the hard ass ground below you. I can see the hope in Tori's eyes. It's practically overflowing from them, radiating from her entire being. Judging by the way she was talking, she's unaware of how high her hopes are, and I'd be damned if I said I wasn't the least bit worried about it. As weird as it may seem, I don't want this for her. Do I want to punch her in the face, bruising those "perfect" cheeks of hers? A lot of the time, yes, but emotional pain is a different thing. Causing someone emotional pain is playing head games with them, and I fucking __**hate**__ head games. Dad would always pull 'em with me, and I hated it because he'd always win. I want to tell her not to hope as high as she is._

"What're you thinking about?" Tori asks as she brings her glass up to her mouth, looking at me quizzically. _Uh, how you shouldn't hope that your grandma lives because if this goes downhill, you'll suffer a lot more. Yeah, that sounds about right. _I have to physically restrain myself form rolling my eyes. I'm not really good with the whole, comforting thing, and I don't usually put a filter on what I say because I never feel the need to. Or at least not with Vega. _That's actually one of the things she likes about me._ Tori clearing her throat awkwardly brings my attention back to her. I smirk at her to hide my slight embarrassment at having spaced out on her.

"Actually, I was thinking about how you and I have different definitions for the word, 'eat' apparently." I say, crossing my arms and placing them on the table in front of me. She just tilts her head slightly, silently asking me what I mean. "See, my definition is; getting food and putting it in your mouth," I pause to motion my hand, pointing at the solitary pancake on her plate, then to her mouth, " you chew it, and then swallow. Repeat until, a) there's nothing left, or, b) you're full." I finish, still smirking, noticing how she looks even more confused than before. I lean back into the cushiony booth seat before continuing, crossing my legs under the table as I do so, "Yours on the other hand, appears to be poking it over and over with your fork." I state, frowning slightly. Realization flashes across her face, shortly followed by a blush as she ducks her head.

"Sorry Jade, I just-" She inhales deeply, still looking down towards her lap. "I go to eat it, but then I think about it, and I want to throw up." as she finishes, she looks up at me, her usually beautifully brown eyes the color of mud because of how much sadness is in them now. _Beautifully brown? _I laugh a little, trying to distract myself from the weird ass thought.

"The food here can't be **that** bad Vega." I retort, trying to make the serious conversation more like our usual banter of conversation. She smiles slightly but doesn't take the bait, instead she lets it sit there, untouched, just like her food. I sigh loudly. I sit forward, reaching across the table to grab her plate. She just raises an eyebrow at me. I give her one short shake of my head, silently telling her that I'm not going to explain myself. _Not like I'd even know how to._ "Are you gonna tell anyone at school?" I ask as I quickly grab my knife and begin to cut up her pancake into semi equal pieces. _Let's make them just a tad bit larger than mine. _

"Uh, about what?" She asks, still staring at my hands as I work over her breakfast, probably worried by the fact that I have a knife. I smirk at this, but quickly refocus on the subject at hand.

"About how you sing in the shower." I roll my eyes at her, "About your grandma Vega." I say, as if it should've been obvious, and it really should've been.

"Oh." is all she says, and I feel kinda guilty about saying it that rudely, but she starts speaking before I can apologize. "No, I don't think so." I look up at her as she begins worrying her bottom lip between her teeth in thought. _Done. _I set my knife off to the side, switching my fork into my right hand so I can use it. She lets go of her lip, nodding her head once, "No I won't, there's really no point that I can see that anyone would need to know." she says, her mind made up. "Why?" She asks, tilting her head slightly again.

"Just wondering." I answer before impaling one of pancake pieces and bringing it up to my mouth. I smile at her as her brows furrow slightly in confusion. I just keep my smile in place as I impale one of the slightly larger pieces, resting my elbow midway across the table with the end of my fork pointed towards Vega. She just looks at the pancake chunk, then back to me as I swallow my bite of this now shared breakfast.

"Uh, Jade?" Tori finally asks, still looking back and forth between me and the utensil in my hand.

"Yes Vega?" I ask, dropping my smile, and tilting my head to the side, looking confused as to why she'd say my name. Her eyes widened slightly and she shook her head smiling.

"Is Jade West trying to feed me breakfast?" She asks, amusement at the situation clearly evident in her tone. I scoff at her.

"Or, I could just be wanting to share with you the amazing taste of this pancake because it's unbelievably good, so unbelievable that you **can't** believe it unless…" I ease my hand that's holding the fork forward slightly, "you taste it too." I finish, gently moving the fork forward again, now it's only a few inches from Vega's face, and she's just staring at it.

"Jade, really, I don't think-" She starts to protest, but I'm not really found of being told no.

"Tori, work with me here." I interrupt, sighing heavily as I say this. Not that I don't sympathize for the girl, just, damn, my patience hasn't grown any just because the situation has. She casts her eyes down, sighing just as heavily as I did. She takes a few moments before she looks up at me again. She leans forward, taking the piece of pancake between her teeth in what honestly looks to be a seductive way, before leaning back and eating it like a normal person. As she swallows her bite she smiles at me. Not a fake smile, or even a sad one. It's one of those smiles that makes me want to smile because it's that damn contagious. So I do, I smile at her beaming face because she kind of accomplished something just now. I retract my hand back across the table to stab my fork into another piece, bringing this one to my mouth just as I had with the first one. We're just sitting there, her looking at me almost expectantly with one eyebrow cocked at me. "Oh, I'm sorry, are you waiting for something?" I ask, realizing that she's actually expecting me to feed her gain.

"Yeah actually, I am, funny that you'd bring it up." She replies, almost sounding cocky. It's my turn to cock an eyebrow at her.

"You actually expect me to feed you Vega?" I ask, letting how ridiculous I thought the idea was show in my tone. She keeps that cocky look on her face for a moment before her face goes completely blank, quickly replaced with sad eyes and a pout. _God damn it. Not the pout, anything but that damn pout! I swear, Vega could topple governments with that thing. _

"B-But, won't you?" She asks, sounding on the verge of tears. _I'm gonna get whiplash from her mood swings… _I sigh, showing that I accept defeat, and in fact, will feed the pouting girl in front of me. I grumble as I almost violently stab one of the bigger pieces, _small victories_ before offering it to Vega. She smiles that blinding smile again as she leans forward to take the food in her mouth, turning her smile into a smirk as she leans back. _Why is smirking? _Realization dawns over me…

"I just got played." I state simply, voice void of any emotion. She laughs, the melodious tune momentarily distracting me from my initial irritation.

"Yeah. Yeah you did." She replies, that cocky look donning her face again.

"Imagine that, Tori Vega had a trick up her sleeve." I retort, smirking at her, regaining my composure. She laughs again. _I think I might like that sound more than I originally thought. _I wonder if you can get addicted to sounds. If you can then I'm screwed.

" Oh, I have tons of, tricks Jade." Vega replies, winking at me as she says tricks. _This is a side of Tori I've yet to meet. _I'm not sure if I like this Tori or not, so I decide to find out.

"Really now, and what would those tricks be?" I ask something in my tone that I can't quite place, smirking at her again. She returns my expression as she reaches across the table and takes my fork from me. I simply watch as she stabs a chunk of pancake and then holds it up in front of my mouth.

"Jade, you should know that a magician never reveals her tricks." She replies, winking at me again. I hum in response as I lean forward slightly to eat the food. _I think this Tori isn't completely unbearable… Being fed… Not as awful as I thought it'd be, but I really don't see it being a recurring thing. _I shrug my shoulders at her, earning a smile from the regular Tori that I see almost everyday. I pull my phone out of my pocket to check the clock.

"It's 7:30 Vega, and as much as I enjoy this, I've gotta ask. Are we going to school today?" I finish, in a more serious tone, having said the first part somewhat sarcastically, although I was smiling so Vega would know I was kidding. She pouts at me. "Take that as a no?" I ask while laughing at her little display.

"You read my mind." She replies happily as I reach to take my fork back.

* * *

We're sitting on Vega's couch, after we had finished that pancake we came back to her house. Her dad had said he didn't mind Tori not going to school today, had asked if my parents would be okay with it, and when I replied that they couldn't care less he was smart enough to leave it at that. Then he had told Tori to call next time she decided to leave the house as early as we did, the note she had apparently left was greatly appreciated, but he would've preferred a call. Then we sat here on the couch watching whatever came on up until this point. About fifteen minutes ago, our lack of sleep caught up with us. Tori started nodding off and ended up falling asleep leaning against me, her head resting on my shoulder. Usually I wouldn't allow anyone to do this, but her house is actually a little cold, so any source of warmth is fairly welcome at this point. _Yeah that's the reason._ I sleepily growl at myself, while trying to get comfortable without waking the sleeping Vega currently leaning on me. I take a few moments still attempting this before caving and doing whatever was necessary to get comfy. I slowly start laying down, slightly twisting my body so I can get under Tori before I fully lay down. About halfway to laying down, I grab both of her arms around her biceps and pull her over me so that she's laying in front of me while facing away from me. I snake my arms around her waist and pull her closer to me, almost asleep when she decides to move in her sleep. She turns around, facing me and wraps her arms around me, burying her face into my shoulder, her warm breath tickling my neck when she breaths. _Well shit. _After all that situating, I'm suddenly not tired anymore. I sigh as heavily as I can without waking the girl that's sleeping next to me. So instead of sleeping, I start thinking. _Bad idea._

_She's hoping too much, and you're just going to let her. Why? Because, as much as people would care to argue, I have a heart, granted it's locked up behind so many walls, it makes Alcatraz look like a public restroom, but still, I have one. I can't do that to her… I can't look her in the eyes, those hope filled eyes, and tell her not to hope that her grandma will live through this. Maybe I'm just being a die hard pessimist and her grandma will be fine, and I'm worrying about all of this for nothi- __**Hope. **__I'm hoping that her grandma will live. Son of a bitch, Vega infected me. _I sigh, looking down at the girl that's currently wrapped in my arms. _Well… If she's anything like Tori then the woman's determination alone will be enough to beat her Cancer. _I smile at this, I mean really, we're talking about Tori freaking Vega's grandma here. I'm sure the only thing strong enough to kill one of Tori's family members would have to be a nuclear bomb. Or old age, but that's probably it. _She'll be fine, and then you'll suck it up and tell Vega, "You told me so.". She won't have any idea what you're talking about, but you will. _If that's the worst that'll come out of this situation then I'll take it. I think back to this morning when we were at the park. _Man, Vega kinda dropped a bomb on me back there._ That story about her parents was- I don't even know. It was just so… **her**. It was a time before anyone knew, "Tori Vega from Hollywood Arts", and it seemed so… Special. I could even imagine Trina not being a total bitch, back then she was just your average little kid, running around laughing with her little sister. Normally I kinda love it when little kids cry, but I don't think a crying little Tori would've been cool at all.

"_I'm worrying my dad by not eating, but I can't really help it… My mom's acting so strange suddenly, or maybe she's been acting this way and I just never noticed its extent 'til now. I'm not sleeping well anymore. I feel as if my whole person is crashing in around me." That's what Vega had said, apparently not really meaning to, but she said it nevertheless. I don't know her mom, so… I don't know what she means. I noticed the lack of sleep, but, she's getting some now, so that's good. As far as the crashing down on her thing goes… I know what she means, so I might actually be able to help with that one. _I hadn't really known what to this morning, so I settled with the easiest one, which was getting Vega something to eat. _I still don't really know what to do, only difference is that I got her to eat like, half of a pancake. _I sigh again. _I'm not any good at these things… Well, you better __**hope**__ you get good at, "these things" because we're going to help her through whatever comes up. _I blink in surprise. Did I just sass, **myself**? _Okay, after this whole Vega thing blows over, I probably need to get professional help. _I'm just about to dive into thought about the human mind and its fragility until Vega begins to shift around. She nuzzles closer to me, if that's even possible, and stills again.

_I'll hope with you Tori. _I lay there, feeling the almost forgotten swelling in my chest as I let hope fill there. Suddenly I feel better, like skipping around the living room with Tori, singing some cheesy pop song, and just- smiling. Then there's the smarter part of me who's shaking her head disapprovingly at me, wondering how in the hell I could be so stupid. Ignoring her, and being content with the sudden weight loss feeling that this newly accepted hope has given me, I drift off into oblivion.

* * *

A/N:We've got to stop meeting like this, people are going to start to talk ;) (Behind the Normandy, 5:00, be there.) ;D But seriously now, here's chapter ten, don't forget to review and let me know what you think please :) Oh, and sorry if there's a crud ton of errors, I'm updating this chapter from my phone :/ but other than that, enjoy, and see you soon ;)


	11. Chapter 11

_Sometimes toys break; even your favorite ones. Same thing for people too. _

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious or any of the characters.**_

_**Warning! This chapter is particularly sad I think. Just a heads up. :c**_

Tori's POV

"What's going on?" I ask as Dad pulls out of the school parking lot. He just took me out of school early, but he hasn't said a word to me.

"I-It's your grandma Kiddo… She's uh, not looking too good, so your mom asked me to come get you, so you can see her." He says sadly, casting glances at me to judge my reaction.

"Oh." I know that's not an answer, but it's all I can come up with. My mind goes blank and all I can do is look forward and watch the road and cars go by. _"Not looking too good"? What does that mean? _It's been about four months since we found out she had cancer, she's been going through all of the treatments and stuff, and it's all been going fine. We've been getting good reports from the doctors, Grandma even said that she's been feeling well, and Jade's been a better friend than I could've ever asked her to be for me. _So how can something bad be happening? _I just stare out the window, refusing to let any bad thoughts enter my mind. _She'll be fine. _

* * *

_Okay, okay, I can do this, just walk in there and smile okay? I'll pretend like I don't even remember that she's in the hospital, and I'll just talk to her like normal. Yeah, okay, one, two, three... four, five, six, se- damn it! _I run a hand through my hair, not caring that I probably look insane pacing along the outside wall of my grandma's room. Mom had met Dad and I out in the hallway earlier, and she told me not to expect the Grandma I've always seen. I asked her what she meant, but she just teared up and went back into the room. _I can do this, just walk inside._ I turn towards the door, take a deep breath, and put on a smile as I step towards the door. I step around the curtain that's blocking the room from view and feel my smile fall instantly. Tears begin to blur the vision that is my sick and **dying** grandma. She's laying there, multiple IV's sticking out of each of her arms, her eyes are half lidded as if she's tired, mouth hanging open with lips chapped so bad I wonder if any amount of chap stick would get them back to normal, and Grandpa, Mom, and Trina are just looking at me. I bite the inside of my cheek hard enough to taste blood until the tears quit threatening to spill over.

"Hey guys." I say as I replace my smile, walking over to hug my sister, who I can tell has been crying.

"Hey Baby Sis." Trina says, sounding like she's currently on the verge of tears. I squeeze her, and then I walk over to give Grandpa a hug.

"Hey Kiddo, how're you doing?" He asks, sounding just as tired as he looks.

"Good, and what about you?" I ask, knowing it's a stupid question, but not knowing what else to say. He gives me a humorless laugh.

"I can say that I've been better." He says, casting his eyes over to his sick wife. I follow his gaze and watch as she gasps for breath. Suddenly I realize she's been making that noise since I arrived. I quickly look back to Grandpa. "She can't close her mouth because blisters formed on the inside of her mouth and throat, so she has to breath that way." He explains, still looking at her, his voice sounding strained. I turn around to face my mom, who's sitting in a chair at the bedside. She's holding Grandma's hand as she cries silently. I walk over to her and wrap my arm around her shoulder. She looks up at me and then buries her face into my stomach as she begins to cry heavier. _And this is why you need to be strong. You have to be here for them. _Even as I'm thinking this, I can feel the tears building up, the air beginning to sting my eyes. _No Tori! You are not crying here! _I want to laugh at myself as I feel the first few tears streaming down my face. _Damn it. _I quickly bring my hand up to my face to wipe away the offending tears. _Deep breaths, c'mon, no crying! _I take a deep breath and then I can feel the tears residing, I breath out in relief and then refocus my attention to my mother. She's still crying, so I just start to rub my hand in a circular pattern along her back. I hear footsteps getting closer to the door and I turn to look just as Dr. Baily crosses the room's threshold. She looks older than the last time I saw her, eyes heavier, body language more defeated, and no awkward smiles are on her face. She cast her eyes around the room and ducks her head as she walks over to the metal rack that holds all of Grandma's IV's that's sitting next to Trina.

"Is there anyway we can make her more comfortable?" Grandpa suddenly asks, breaking the semi-silence that had enveloped the room. Dr. Baily cast her eyes sadly over to him before taking a deep breath.

"We've got her on everything we can, and it's still about another-" she glances at the clock hanging on the wall in front of Grandma's bed, "forty minutes before we can give her another shot of Morphine… I'm sorry." She looks down at her hands momentarily before looking up at him. He sighs heavily before shaking his head.

"Okay Doctor, I was just wondering…" He trails off, and we all wait patiently to hear what he has to say. "Dr. Baily h-how much time do you think she has?" He asks, voice breaking through the sentence. I can practically feel my heart drop into my stomach as Dr. Baily sighs heavily and looks back at the clock.

"Anywhere from a few hours to a couple of days…" She answers, voice just above a whisper. I look at my grandpa to see a sadness make his posture match the doctor's, I glance towards Trina who's just looking at Grandpa with tears streaming down her face, and then I look down at my mom who's just sitting there with a blank expression on her face. I look back up at the doctor to see her shifting from one foot to the other, not really being good with bad news apparently.

"Thank you Dr. Baily, we'll call if we need anything." I say, and I can see the look between gratitude and sympathy she gives me before retreating out of the room.

"My precious girl…" Grandpa says as he leans over to kiss my grandma's forehead. "My prec-" His voice breaks as a quiet sob escapes his mouth. Trina drops her head and I can see her frame shaking violently. Mom's still in shock, so I quickly walk over to Trina and crouch down, so I can hug her. I can feel her hot tears staining my shirt as they drop onto my shoulder. She's holding me tight enough to cause breathing to become an issue, but I don't really care anymore.

"I'll be back." Mom suddenly says, standing up fast enough to cause her chair to slide back a bit before she's already out of the room. _What the-?_ I shake my head slightly, needing to focus on one problem at a time.

"T-This is really happening isn't it?" Trina asks into my shoulder, sounding so sad and desperate I feel my heart break a little. I want so badly to say no, to tell her that this is all a bad dream and that we'll wake up soon and everything will be fine. But this really **is** happening, so I'd be lying to her, and I can't do that.

"Yeah… Yeah it is." I answer, rubbing circles on her back just as I had with my mother. Then it hits me. I'm holding my sister in an ICU room, with my dying grandma lying on the bed so drugged she's probably not even aware of what's going on, my grandpa who I've never seen cry before practically sobbing over his dying wife, my mom ran, and now we're just sitting around, pretty much just waiting for my grandma to die. Suddenly I want to laugh until I feel tears burning in my eyes, until I have to clutch at my stomach from the pain of laughing too hard because this is all so messed up. Trina takes a couple of deep breaths before she pats my back, silently telling me that I can let go now. I stand up, but don't move away from her, instead I look back at the heart monitor that's behind me. A glowing green "114" is staring me back in the face. I glance at Grandpa and notice that he's not crying anymore, but instead just standing there, staring at Grandma. I wonder if he's remembering all of the good times that they've shared in their life, or if he's just wondering about how it's her that's in the hospital bed. I run a hand over my face and begin to walk towards the chair that my mother had previously occupied. I quietly sit down in it and then gingerly grab one of Grandma's hands. "I love you." I say it just above a whisper as a few tears again betray me by spilling over my eyes. I bite my lower lip until the tears quit. I can feel something akin to a hurricane inside my chest. It's making breathing hard, it's causing the top of my stomach to contract in pain, and it's causing my heart to not feel anything. It's as if I don't have a heart suddenly, I can usually feel it, or feel the emotions radiating from that general area at least, but… All I can feel now is nothing. As I sit here, holding my grandmother's hand, it dawns on me. However the realization brings no sort of relief, if anything it's only made me slump more under the weight it's brought upon me.

_I'm numb._

* * *

_Death is so weird. Hollywood doesn't do it justice, well, no one does really. In every death scene you see or read, it's either drawn out and emotional, or quick and empty. Someone gets stabbed or shot and they die relatively quickly, but they still have enough time to say their last wish, to settle their last scores. The quick deaths are just that, no suffering, no words, just __**bam**__ they're dead. Real death though… It's something completely different. It's this long, drawn out process, where they're laying there in more pain than you could probably fathom, not even mentally aware anymore, and with everyone sitting around just __**waiting**__ for them to die. Then the people sitting around feel bad for thinking that because they knew for a fucking fact that the currently dying person was going to be fine, was going to be at Christmas this year, and the next, and the next… But they were wrong because Death has other things in mind apparently. I know for a fact that I will probably never do another dying scene for Sikowitz, or for anyone for that matter. _I feel a touch on my shoulder that causes me to jump slightly, breaking my train of thought. I turn in my seat to find my Grandpa standing next to me, his eyes a slight shade of pink from crying.

"You were thinking, and if you're anything like me, you don't need to be thinking too much right now… You'll just get yourself down." He answers, his voice quiet, I just swallow and nod, not really trusting my voice anymore. I place my hand on top of his and he squeezes my shoulder in response. I turn my head to try and see the clock, it's been a couple of hours since we heard the news about my grandma's now short life span. The clock tells me that it's about 5 o' clock. I cast my eyes back to my grandmother's semi-conscience form. _I want Jade here… _

I begin to worry my bottom lip again. I've been thinking that for the last two hours, not constantly, but it's defiantly not the first time that thought has popped up. She's been there for me through all of this so far, and only now do I realize that I've grown a dependency on her. She's never too busy to come over and keep me company, or to let me go over to her house- where her family is never at- I've thought about asking, but it never seemed like a good idea and I think she appreciated that I didn't ask anyways. I almost feel bad for leaning on her as much as I do, but when I think about it, it's probably okay that I do. She leans on me too, so it's kind of like a give and take relationship. Sometimes she'll call me in the middle of the night crying and ask me to come over. I'll of course tell my mom- she never objects- and then drive myself over to her house- because I finally got my license a few months back. She'll be fine for awhile, but then something'll happen, and she just gets really sad about not dating Beck anymore. I don't really understand how she can be sad about it after four months, but then again, I've never had a seemingly perfect three year relationship be abruptly ended by someone who I was madly in love with, and whom I thought was madly in love with me. I guess with all of this taken into consideration, she's doing fairly well…

"Hey Tori, will you come with me to get something to eat?" Trina asks, interrupting my Jade centered thoughts. I'm not hungry. At all. But I can't say no because I know that she just doesn't want to be alone. _Unlike our mother apparently. _I frown at the thought. About fifteen minutes after she had left, Trina left to go find her, but when she came back she had told us that Dad had seen her in the waiting room, but she refused to talk to him, and just rushed past him. He had let her go, not knowing what to do. Here we are forty-five minutes later, and she's still not back, and I'm thinking she left the hospital, but I can't figure out why.

"Yeah sure." I reply, shaking my head because I had taken so long to answer. "Are you going to be okay here?" I ask looking up at Grandpa, not really thinking he should be left alone, but already knowing he'd refuse to leave Grandma's side.

"Yeah, you two go get some food okay?" He says, a small smile donning his face.

"Do you want anything?" Trina asks, already standing up to reach for her purse that's on a small table behind her.

"No, can't say I do, but thanks for the offer." He replies, looking back at Grandma as he says this. I stand up and hug him before walking towards the door with Trina. _I don't want to take too long because… What if when we're gone she… _I shake my head, _she'll be fine while we're gone, nothing to worry about. _Even though I tell myself this, I quicken my pace, not wanting this to take any longer than it has to.

* * *

I feel a wave of relief wash over me as I enter the ICU room, and see my grandma is still breathing- as best she can… Grandpa's sitting in the chair that I had been, bowed over and I can see his back shaking. He's crying again. I quietly walk over to him and place my hand between his shoulders, not moving it as I had done with Trina and Mom, just wanting to let him know that I was here. He scares me as he stands up quicker than a man his age should be able to, enveloping me in a tight hug as he settles his head down onto my shoulder. I suddenly wish I was taller so that this would be easier for him, but I'm fairly sure he's not really focused on our height difference right now. We stand there, me holding him as he's crying, both of us being consumed by a different kind of sadness, his having to be so much worse than mine. I want to cry, but I'd never forgive myself if I did because this is me comforting him the best I can, not the other way around. A few moments later, he begins to draw back, and then he looks me in the eyes and smiles sadly, silently thanking me for that little bit of help I could give him. I glance at the clock again, it's 5:40. I hear footsteps approaching the room again, so I turn my head in that direction. Mom, followed by Trina enter the room, both looking tired. _Where were you?_ I want to ask Mom this question, but then I remember I have more important issues at the moment. I walk over to the chair that closest to the wall, but before I sit, I decide to gesture to Trina to sit there instead. She looks like she's about to object, but I don't let her, gesturing to the chair again while narrowing my eyes at her slightly. She gives me a small smile and a shake of her head as she moves towards the chair. I smooth out the covers by Grandma's legs and gingerly sit on the very edge of the bed. Mom takes the seat that she had previously been sitting in as Grandpa moves to stand at Grandma's head, where he begins stroking her hair back gently. I look up at the hear monitor and a green "86" is looming over me. I stare at it as my hand gently reaches out for my Grandma's. I feel Trina's hand settle on top of mine momentarily before I look down at our hands and she moves her hand up to settle it on Grandma's wrist instead. I look over and watch Mom take her mother's other hand into both of hers. I look over at Grandpa to see him looking intently at his wife's face. I redirect my attention to the heart monitor and feel my own heart skip a beat. A glowing "56" is taunting me from the screen now. _What the shit? I just looked away for a second, how the- _I quickly look around at everyone to see if they've noticed this, but no one has.

I look back up at the screen that now shows a "54", I feel as if someone's stepping on my stomach, gradually applying more and more pressure, making me want to throw up. "I love you Grandma." I whisper, wanting her to know. Grandpa looks up at the screen now. "52", Mom looks up at Grandpa, then follows his eyes, and now she's looking. "50". Trina looks up at it. "48". I hear Mom begin to cry, but I can't look away from the screen. "46" _Oh God… _"44" _Grandma, no…_ "42" _Maybe she'll make like- a complete turn around and live- or- something… _"44" _Wait! _"46" I want to smile. "44, 42, 40" I want to cry. "38, 36" Suddenly a nurse comes in.

"Sorry, let me just turn off the monitor, or at least turn it away from y'all." She says as she begins to do just that. _No, no, no, no! _I want to scream at her to leave it alone, to leave **us** alone, but my voice isn't working anymore. I'm staring at the monitor still, just barely able to catch a "26" before the nurse has it facing the wall and she leaves. Mom's cries rise in volume slightly, Trina inhales deeply, and begins crying, Grandpa has another one of those throat ripping sobs, and I begin rocking back and forth, trying to keep from crying. I don't even feel the tears well up before they're spilling over my eyes and down my face. _God damn it, no! No crying because this isn't happening! Don't you dare fucking cry! Not in front of them… _I bite the inside of my mouth hard enough to get a flood of the metallic taste of blood.

"Excuse me, I need to listen to her." The nurse says, as she tries to get around Trina and I. _When the hell did she get here? _I watch silently as the nurse paces her stethoscope above where my Grandma's heart is, and she sadly shakes her head after a few moments. "Yeah, I'm sorry she's gone." She says, and suddenly I want to hit her. But instead of fulfilling my sudden urge for violence, I glance at the clock. _5:50, my Grandma died at 5:50. _

"I'll find you… I find you somehow." My Grandpa tells my now unhearing grandma, as he places his forehead against hers.

"I- I'll be right back." Mom says as she practically runs out of the room. I look over to Trina to see her looking after our mother like an abandoned puppy. I stand up and step to Trina and all but pull her out of the chair when she falls into my arms and begins sobbing violently.

"I- I don't know what to do now!" My grandfather exclaims as he sobs again. Hearing this causes my once dormant heart to break even more, and suddenly there's new tears streaming down my face. _God damn it not again._ I chastise myself as bring one hand up to my face to wipe away the offending tears without letting go of Trina. As much as I want to help her, being held right now just makes me want to cry that much more. A few moments pass and Trina and Grandpa both have quit crying. I let go of Trina and move around her to get to Grandma's side, but then another nurse comes in with a stethoscope. She looks at me apologetically as I step back so she can get around me. She listens to silence I'm sure and then leaves the room without a word. I step forward again so that I can fix my grandmother's blankets. My hands are shaking as I do this and suddenly I want to fix them perfectly. As if the perfect blankets would make up for the now dead woman lying under them. Mom comes back in, still crying slightly. Grandpa and Mom begin to tidy up the room, Trina leaves with tears in her eyes, and I mindlessly help clean up, knowing that Grandma hated a messy environment. _Oh God… She's dead. _This repeats in my mind like a mantra until we've decided that it's time to leave because now we have a very short time to start planning a funeral. As we're walking out of the room, I can't handle it. So many thoughts are racing through my mind, none of them good, and I don't know how to handle them. So I run. I'm running down hallways, dodging doctors and nurses who are probably telling me to slow down, but if they are I don't hear them. I'm just trying to out run my thoughts, and I do, all but one. _She's gone. _I keep running, for what feels like an eternity, and I've yet to outrun this one thought. Exhausted and close to tears again, I slouch against a wall and put my back against it as I slide down onto the ground. Sitting there, trying not to cry, trying to catch my breath, I can't fight my thoughts as they bombard me. I bring my knees up to my chest and wrap my arms around my legs and begin rocking slightly. _She's dead._

* * *

A/N: I don't really think anything I say after this chapter is going to seem… fitting, but I still have to put something because I'd feel bad if I didn't. I know this is not exactly, a happy chapter, but it's essential to the story, that's really all I'm gonna say. Also, in case you were wondering, school sucks. :/ (In case you didn't already know this of course) By the way, where do you think Holly disappeared to because believe it or not, we'll soon find out! I'd like to thank everyone who's reviewing, favoriting, and or following, it makes me smile and blush like a school girl ;) So please review and let me know what you think! :D Bye guys! Happy Labor Day Weekend!


	12. Chapter 12

_Sometimes toys break; even your favorite ones. Same thing for people too. _

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious or any of the characters**_

Jade's POV

Sikowitz (literally) rolls into the classroom from the window next to the stage just after the tardy bell rings, signifying that Vega is now officially late to class. Being late isn't really her, so I'm wondering what she's doing instead of sitting in her, now normal seat next to me right now. He stands up, dusting himself off- as if that'd help his clothes- while reaching behind his back and producing a coconut with a straw already protruding from it from God knows where.

"Alright class! Today we'll be-" He stops mid sentence, face screwing up into a quizzical expression. "Where's Tori?" He asks while pointing a finger to the vacant seat next to me. I feel and hear everyone shift to look back at the empty seat, so I do too, not having an answer for him anyways.

"Oh, she left earlier." Robbie states nervously as if he were unsure if he should say this. I whip my gaze towards him, my signature glare already on my face. He's looking at me, and when he takes in my expression he physically shrinks back in his chair. _Why does __**he**__ know where Vega is? _I shake my head to gather my thoughts. _Of course he'd know if she left, they have the class before this one together, calm down. No reason to shove my scissors into his throat, no reason at all. _I nod my head slightly in confirmation to myself, not really knowing why I reacted the way I did. I watch as Sikowitz shrugs his shoulders beneath his baggy clothes and places the straw into his mouth as he appears to be thinking.

"Well, I **was** going to announce what we'd be doing in class for the next while, **but** since Tori isn't here that'd mean I'd have to repeat myself when she does show up… CLASS DISMISSED!" he yells, slightly shocking some students in the room as he begins walking towards the door at the back of the room. As the door closes behind him, everyone takes a second to realize we just got a free period simply because Vega didn't show. _Sikowitz you freak. _I shake my head at him as I stand up and grab the strap to my bag. I think about asking Robbie why Tori left, but I don't think he'd know if she was just called out of class. I sigh as I reach into bag, blindly searching for my phone as I exit the school and begin heading towards my car. _No Tori, no Sikowitz's class, so no reason to stay. _I smirk triumphantly as my hand wraps around my pear-shaped phone and I pull it out. No new messages from Tori, although there is one from Cat asking if I want to go with her to get a smoothie. I debate the decision for a moment before deciding that it can't hurt and that I haven't hung out with her lately. As I type out my reply to her, I'm thinking about Vega. _Where is she? Why didn't she text me that she had left? I mean, isn't it common courtesy to let your sometimes ride to and from school know that you left school? _I scoff at myself while I all but fall into the driver's seat of my car. _Yeah, because I'm always doing things that scream, "common courtesy". _My phone vibrates in my hand, and I look at it quickly, hoping it's Tori, and feeling slightly disappointed when I see it's only Cat telling me which smoothie place she'll be at.

I bring my lower lip between my teeth as I debate whether or not to text Tori. _If she wanted to talk to me she'd text me, but maybe she thinks that I don't care she's gone. No that's stupid, you guys are friends now, so she'd know that you cared… Right? _I smile at the fact that I can now call Tori my friend. It sounds extremely cheesy, but it's true. I start my car and decide that I'm going to go ahead and text her.

**Hey, where are you? **

I stare at the sentence I typed, and I debate whether or not to send it. I can't really help the feeling that this isn't really the question I should ask her. I reach for the handle of my car door to shut it, but before I do I glance up at the sky. Back in the distance, I can see dark clouds, that appear to be thunder heads looming back there. As if they're just waiting to pounce and ruin any outdoor plans for this weekend. I close the door and the resounding thump of my door seems to make up my mind for me. I quickly delete the words that are on my screen and type out my new message.

**Are you okay?**

My finger presses the send button just as an uneasy feeling settles in the pit of my stomach. I lean forward, placing my forehead against the steering wheel. I think about cancelling on Cat, but I think I might need a distraction, so I decide against it. I throw the car into reverse, and I drive away from the school, I keep glancing at my phone as if that'd get me a reply from Tori sooner. _God I hope everything's okay…_ I shake my head and reach forward for my radio. Turning up the volume I can hear a pop song- something that Tori would listen to no doubt. At first I wonder why that's on in the first place, but then I remember that I drove us to both to school this morning and she had turned this station on. I smile as I remember the two of us singing to it, both far too cheery for that early in the morning. I compare the memory to how I feel now, and I almost can't believe how different it is. Then again, if I wanted to get technical about it, I shouldn't be surprised at how much can change in a short time period. I went from being madly in love, to heartbroken in a matter of ten minutes. I feel my heart give a heavy thump that hurts fairly badly at the moment. I sigh heavily and reach for the volume knob, turning it up loud enough to drown out my thoughts. _Alright, smoothies with Cat, let's focus on that hurdle for now._ I smile slightly, having succeeded in leaving the heavier things behind. My smile turns into a small frown as I involuntarily glance at my phone, noticing that I still haven't received a text back.

* * *

Cat's just looking at me, not saying anything. She raises her eyebrows at me, and then I realize I must've missed a question she had asked me and she was just waiting for a reply.

"Uh, what?" I ask, feeling slightly irritated that Vega was distracting me so obviously.

"I asked what's wrong." Cat answers, sounding far too serious for me to space out on again. I sigh heavily and settle for looking down at the cup in my hands. I don't know how to answer her, so I just cast my glance outside instead. The thunder heads from earlier have moved closer to us by now, but they're still far off enough to miss if you're not looking for them. Cat gently clears her throat, letting me know that she won't let this subject drop. I look back at her, still trying to decide what to tell her. I'm not exactly sure what I can tell her without breaking Tori's trust in me, and I'm not sure what I want to tell either. I mean, everyone knows we're friends now, and they've already asked their questions about the suddenness of our friendship, but that doesn't mean that they're used to it. It's just that… I'm naturally a private person, and I know that the Tori I get to see, and the Tori that everyone else sees, are almost completely different people. I feel very protective of that secret; I feel protective of **my** Tori. I feel my eyebrows dig down on my face. _My Tori? Well I guess that makes sense, since I'm the only one she'll let her guard down with, but still…. "My Tori"? _I dispel the thought, not really having the time or energy for it.

"I'm worried." I answer, bringing my straw up to my mouth to signify that that's all I'm going to answer with. Cat's facial expression changes from worried, to slightly annoyed, back to worried, and then settles on a mix of the previous and curiosity.

"About what?" She asks, tilting her head to the side to gain a childish appearance. I roll my eyes, trying to convey my annoyance to her, hoping that she'll quickly drop the subject, being too afraid to anger me. Instead she gets a determined look on her face as she barrels on. "Is it about Tori?" She asks, voice lower, as if the subject of the youngest Vega was a secret. I simply stare at Cat, almost in shock that she picked up on the source of my unease. _I almost forgot how inquisitive Cat is. _Cat's quite brilliant at picking up on the small things, while everyone else notices the bigger pictures. "I'll take that as a 'yes'." She says, frowning slightly. "Where'd she go today?" She asks, not realizing that that's kind of what I'm worried about.

"Don't know." I answer as I place my cup back down onto the table. I cross my arms and lean back in my seat, not really in the mood to be interrogated about shit I don't know, but wish I did.

"She didn't tell you anything?" Cat asks, sounding genuinely shocked. I glance up at her momentarily to see her matching shocked expression before redirecting my attention to my crossed arms. I begin to fiddle with the fabric of the black long sleeved shirt I'm currently wearing.

"Nope." I answer curtly, really wanting her to drop this subject.

"Well did you text her?" She asks, ignoring my signals for her to let this go. I sigh heavily and let my head roll back so that I'm looking up at the ceiling.

"Yes Cat, I sent her a text before I got here, and no, she hasn't answered back so don't bother asking." I reply, still looking at the ceiling. It really bothers me that she hasn't answered me back because replies from her are almost instantaneous. Not with everyone though, lately she's gotten fairly bad at not texting people back after awhile-sometimes not at all. I'm an exception to this rule though, she'll go out of her way to answer my texts or calls, and I guess I've taken it for granted up until this point. I wonder if she got the message and just chose not to answer it, or if she's busy with something, so she doesn't have the time to answer, or if something bad is happening and she doesn't want to talk to me. I'm not sure which one I'd prefer, but definitely not the last one, but if something bad was going down, wouldn't she tell me? Or do I apply to the rule, and it's just my turn? It hurts a little to think that she may block me out just as she does with everyone else, but I really don't think she would.

"Why don't you go over to her house if it's bothering you this much Jade?" Cat suggests, her voice carrying a hint of her normal weightless quality again, telling me that her attention span for this subject is beginning to wane. I don't have an answer for her immediately because I haven't thought of this option. She drinks her smoothie as she waits for my answer, eyes gliding all around the room probably noticing things in a way that only she could.

"Uh, I haven't really thought about that to be honest, but I don't think that's such a good idea." I answer, finishing my sentence with a small frown on my face.

"Why not? Did you guys get in an argument? Is that why she's not talking to you now? What happened?" Cat asks, voice growing in volume as she continues asking questions and leaning forward with each one. I have to take a second to process everything that just came out of her mouth.

"W-What? No Cat, we did not get in a fight!" I answer, slightly mad that she'd assume so much in a time span of one second. She slightly squints her eyes at me momentarily before leaning back in her seat.

"Okie dokie then." She says, shrugging her shoulders and sipping on her smoothie again. _I'm going to get whiplash if I stay much longer…_ Her phone suddenly makes a sound, and she reaches into her purse that's sitting on the table across from mine to see what it is. "Oh, we need to get back to school for our next class." Cat informs me, before replacing her phone into her bag and going to stand up.

"Yeah okay." I answer as I start to stand, already knowing that I'm not really going back.

"So do you want me to see if you'll have any work to get done over the weekend?" She asks, a small smile on her face.

"Do what?" I ask, not getting what she means.

"Well since you're obviously not going back to school today, do you want me to check and see if you'll have any make up work?" She asks, the same smile on her face. I smirk back at her.

"The whole point of ditching is so I don't have to do the work today, so no. But thanks for the offer." I answer, finding it funny that she knows me well enough to know that I'm skipping the rest of today.

"KK." Cat answers as she turns towards the door, but she turns around again before she takes the first step. "I mean it though Jade, maybe you should go to her house." She says, and before I can bitch at her for ruining the light mood that we had just made she's spinning again and out the door before I can get the first word out of my mouth. I reach down and grab my purse then begin walking towards the door. _Go to Vega's house? Hmm, we'll see. _I shrug my shoulders as I open my car door, but before I get in, I look up. The dark clouds are closer now than they were earlier, and I shiver even though it's not that cold. I get into the car and start the engine wanting to get to wherever I decided to go quickly now. As the buildings and cars pass by me I can't help but reach forward and turn up the radio again. I'm not in the mood for Tori's pop songs, so I change the station over to a rock one. I begin nodding my head to the beat, but I can't ignore the chill that's settled over me. I look up at the sky again, noticing how dark the clouds really were. Normally I love thunder and lightning, but I can't help but feel like this storm is going to be different. Like it's going to be mean, destructive, and ugly. _There's a storm coming. _I reach forward for the volume knob again and turn it until all I can think about is the song playing that's threatening to blow my speakers. I reach into my bag that's sitting in the passenger seat and dig out my phone to check if Tori had answered me, already knowing that she hadn't. I sigh as I toss my phone back into my bag. _There's a storm coming, and I don't know whether or not my best friend is safe or not… Shit._

* * *

_Come on, just, text her again… But what if I'm bothering her by pestering her. _I hunch over the island in my kitchen, dropping my head into my hands. I've been going back and forth with this since I woke up a little over an hour ago. I came home after my meeting with Cat, deciding it probably wouldn't have been the best idea to go to the Vega household right then. I kept checking my phone, but Tori never answered me. I had eventually tried to distract myself by cleaning, then I had gotten on the computer and managed to kill a few hours on that, and then I had settled down on my couch and drifted off to sleep. I woke up around two in the morning, groggy and irritable, my hand practically shot out for my phone before receiving any direct order from my brain. The disappointment of not seeing a new message woke me up, and now here I am, pacing my kitchen, trying to decide on what to do. _How many hours ago did I send that message? I wonder if it was long enough ago to consider sending a new one… _I bite my lower lip and bring my phone up so that I can see the screen as I swipe my thumb across the bottom of the screen to unlock it. I almost drop my phone onto the counter top beneath my elbows, and I look up at the sink that's on the other side of the room. _Mother fuck… _I look back at my phone and see my message written, and below it, in tiny red letters, "Message send failure". I push myself up into an upright position, and it takes all of my self control not to literally throw my phone just so that I can see it smash into pieces. I sigh heavily, pinching the bridge of my nose between my thumb and fore finger. _At least I can send her a message now I guess…. _I hit the retry button, and stare at the screen to be sure it sends this time. Seeing it send, I begin my heart pounding wait again. The reply is almost instant although it's a call instead. _As fast as that was, there's no way she called after she got my text… Maybe she called the same time I sent the message… That'd be weird. _Then I remember that she's waiting for me to answer the phone. I hit the accept button that's sitting below the picture of her smiling face.

"Hello?" I answer, my voice practically oozing worry. I'd roll my eyes at myself if it wasn't Tori on the other end.

"Yeah, h-hey Jade…" Tori answers, sounding so run down I could almost see her leaning against something, trying not to fall down out of exhaustion.

"Are you okay?" I ask, needing to hear a definite answer. Silence is my only reply for a few moments before I hear her inhale a shaky breath.

"C-Can you please come over?" She asks, suddenly sounding so vulnerable that I think it literally breaks my heart. I glance down at myself, noting the black basketball shorts and the Black Sabbath t-shirt I had thrown on after I got home, and I'm already nodding my head. _She can't hear you nod. _

"I'll be over in a second, let me get some shoes." I answer, running up my stairs two at a time, all but throwing my closet door open and grabbing a pair of basketball shoes to go with my ever so glamorous attire.

"Thank you Jade…" Tori whispers into the phone, almost as if I hadn't been meant to hear it, so I don't say anything about it. I simply slip my shoes on, make my way back down stairs, grabbing my keys on the way out, and stop only to lock my door. As I'm locking said door, I feel a breeze that chills me down to the bones, and I almost cave and go back for a jacket, but I decide against it because that'd only waste time. I look up just as I'm about to get into my car, with Tori still so ever patiently on the phone. It's too dark for me to see if the clouds are overhead now or not, but the bone chilling winds hint that they are, looming over us, threatening to pour rain all over this place.

"I'll be there in just a sec okay?" I say, my voice surprisingly gentle, as if I'm afraid to be too loud right now.

"Okay." She answers, I'm not sure if it's a great idea to be on the phone while driving given the conditions regarding the weather, but I'm almost afraid to hang up. I'm almost afraid that if I did, she wouldn't be there when I arrived at the Vega household. So I decide to stay on the phone, and I decide that I should maybe press the gas pedal down, just a tad bit harder.

* * *

I flash back to four months ago. Tori's door, looming over me, and there I am, debating whether or not I'm making the right choice. I smile fondly at how scared I had been acting, but it fades into a frown as I realize that the circumstances are so much different now. I don't hesitate to ring the doorbell this time, knowing that if I did, I'd just be wasting time that I could be using to help Tori. _Wow, the circumstances have changed quite a bit… _The door opens to reveal a disheveled Trina. She looks me up and down, as if she's wondering if she's seeing things. I take in her appearance for the first time really. Her hair isn't in a picture perfect style like normal, her eyes are red and puffy, her make-up's smudged in some places, and I can see evidence of it running in other places. She looks as exhausted as Tori sounded. I almost wish I hadn't hung up the phone when I pulled into the driveway now, so that I could just tell Tori to get down here and save me from this awkward meeting. Trina opens her mouth and tilts her head towards the stairs as if she's going to yell for Tori, but her sister beats her to the punch by already walking towards us. She looks a lot better that Trina. At first at least. If this had been four months ago, then I probably would've been fully convinced that the youngest Vega is perfectly fine right now, but it's not, and I can see small details that give away how tired she is. Her posture is tense, as if she's ready to either fight someone or run from someone. Her eyes are heavy and missing something that's been there, making them shine. Now they're just dull pools of brown, like coffee that's sat too long and is now cold and undrinkable. There's a smile on her face. I can see them though, the cracks in her façade. I can just barely see them though, so unless you're looking for them, you won't find them. _She's gotten better at acting. _

"Thanks Treen." Tori says as she nods her head in appreciation towards her sister, and then directs her gaze to me, inclining her head back towards the stairs behind her, silently saying, "let's go". I give Trina a slight nod of my head as a greeting and she returns the action before shutting the door behind me and walking towards the couch as I follow her little sister up the stairs. We make out way to Tori's room wordlessly, a thousand questions racing through my mind, but my mouth refusing to voice any of them. Tori holds her door open for me and I silently walk into her room, and I'm not sure if it's just me or not, but it seems… darker in here. As if the light is going out, dimming, causing more shadows to criss-cross each other, giving her room a darker vibe than normal. I hear the door click shut behind me and turn around to see Tori leaning back against it, her head dropped down, facing the ground. "Thanks for coming over here." She says, looking up at me from beneath her bangs. Her eyes are pink now and I can tell that she's fighting tears.

"You would've done the same for me." I answer simply as I raise my arms to let her know that I'll give her a hug if she wants one. She darts her eyes from my face to my arms repeatedly, looking torn over the decision. I don't actually understand her hesitation because usually she's the one who always wants hugs, so her not wanting one is shocking and if I was a hundred percent honest, it hurts a little. It's almost like she's rejecting me, so I drop my arms down to my side. She raises, standing straight now, and I can clearly see her expression now. It's a mix of guilt and relief. "What's wrong Tori?" I ask, not wanting to be standing here in the awkward silence any longer. Tori expression changes so fast if I had blinked I would've missed it. She went from just looking tired, to looking physically pained in a matter of seconds. Her body is now all sharp angles and ridges. Her jaw is set in a way that could be compared to mine when I'm determined or mad. Her eyebrows dig down above her eyes, and said eyes are boring holes into the floor now.

"Nothing." Tori replies curtly, shocking me by the sudden change in atmosphere. I feel a sudden surge of anger flow through my veins, nothing too big for me to not be able to reign in, but enough to notice it. _She can not try to tell me that nothing's wrong when she's acting this way. _

"Hey, you can tell me, you know that." I try again, trying to be patient and I reach a hand out to place it on her shoulder in a reassuring gesture. I feel her physically flinch under my touch, I can see her jaw tighten, but her eye's water up slightly.

"I know just-" She stops mid-sentence, sighing heavily as she hangs her head again, her posture practically melting against her door. "Can we go to sleep?" She asks, looking so defeated by whatever's bothering her that all I can do is nod my head. She smiles sadly at me as she flicks off the light switch next to her, thankful for me letting this happen the way she wants it to apparently. She then walks over to her bed and pulls back her comforter and crawls underneath it. I slide in after her and lay on my side so that I'm facing her. She's laying on her back, and she turns her head to look at me. Her brown eyes crying out for help, while they silently commanded everyone to stay the hell away from her at the same time. I don't know which one she'd appreciate the most, so I just lay here, waiting for her to make this call. She continues to stare at me for a moment before she makes a mental decision and turns onto her side so that we're facing each other. She wraps her arms around my midsection, as she slides down a bit so that she can bury her face into the crook of my neck. I wrap my arms around her shoulders, caringly, protectively, and what I hope is reassuringly. She sighs heavily, her breath traveling over my neck, warming me instantly. I'm far too awake to have any hope of sleeping, but if it'll help Tori sleep, then so be it. I lay there for a good while before her breathing evens out, signaling that she fell asleep. I'm going through reasons that Tori wouldn't tell me what's bothering her, but I can't come up with any. I haven't not told her anything before, so I- _Liar. _I arch an eyebrow at myself, wondering what I could've lied about just now. _You haven't told her why your parents are never home. Oh yeah… Well it's never come up before. Yeah, uh huh, whatever… Hypocrite. _I blink and try to clear my mind. My own mind sassing myself has gotten really old in the past four months. _Yeah, well you're no joy to talk to either._ I have to restrain myself from face palming at my own thoughts. I'm about to get in a mental argument with myself- because that's totally normal- until I feel Tori hitch in my arms.

Her breathing quickly turns ragged as her frame continues to shake and jerk. Then I realize that she's crying.

"Hey, Tori, wake up!" I whisper urgently, wanting to save her from her own mind. I try to shake her awake gently, but she just continues crying. She doesn't wake up until she inhales deeply just as a loud throat ripping sob breaks free from somewhere deep inside of her. Her eyes are wide and full of fear, exhaustion, and most of all loss. "Tori, what's wrong?" I ask as she buries herself in my embrace.

"S-She gone Jade! She's g-gone!" She sobs into my shoulder, the words muffled but still recognizable. She's clawing at my back as if I'll disappear suddenly is she even thinks about letting me go. I almost ask what she's talking about until it clicks. _Oh my God her grandma died… _I'm at a loss for words. Her grandma dying hadn't even been a concern really because I had been so sure that she was going to be okay in the long run. _That's what was missing earlier._ I now know why her eyes hadn't been shining. There was no hope in those pools of chocolate, only disappointment and other negative things. How could she have hope when there was literally no way to hope about something anymore? She couldn't. So here we are now. I wrap my arms around her tighter now because I know that it won't be like this for quite awhile. Knowing Tori she'll block everyone out, and I'm not sure if I do or don't apply to that. I think about Tori ignoring me just as she does with our other friends, and it hurts really bad, but I can understand why she would do that. So, for now, I'm just going to hold my breaking-broken?- best friend as she cries, really cries-probably for the first time about this- and try to comfort her the best I can. Tori's sobbing is causing us to rock back and forth and I can feel my own eyes begin to sting. I really had thought her grandma was going to pull through, and seeing Tori like this is literally hurting me, but I won't cry over this. Not that it isn't enough to cry over... It's just that I need to show Tori that I can help her. I know that Tori has taken the responsibility of being the "strong one" in the family. She's going to be the one to comfort everyone, the one to check up on everyone, the one to try and make this as easy for everyone as she can, meanwhile she'll just be dying on the inside, but refuse to let anyone know it. I know this because it's almost what'd I do. I wouldn't give a shit about anyone else though. Not the way she does. I'd just tell everyone to fuck off and leave me alone…

We lay like this for quite awhile, Tori repeating, "She's gone" over and over until she cried herself to sleep, and I never let go, not even now when she's asleep, I won't let go. I'm going to do everything I can to help Tori through this… Sleep is beginning to make my eyelids heavy… I glance over at the PearPod dock that sits on Tori's dresser and realize it's 5:50 in the morning. I'm just about to go to sleep when I have the thought that fuels my nightmares for the rest of my sleep that morning.

_A storm's coming and my best frie__nd is out in the middle of it..._

* * *

A/N: Don't you guys hate it when your message doesn't send and it was actually something important? Or to someone you like or something? :/

I'm thinking about switching updates to Monday's so that I'll have the weekends to write the chapters, what do you guys think? Monday's sound good to you?

Also, I was wondering if you guys would like for me to reply to your reviews, like, I've been ping ponging (get the reference?) the idea back and forth for awhile, and I'm not sure what to do. On one hand, I'd like to do it, to show that I do in fact care about and read what y'all write, but it also gives readers who don't comment more to read. Granted they could skip over them, but, if you guys don't want replies in the first place… Just let me know what you guys think on the subject 'kay? :)

It's extremely late for me, but I couldn't sleep until I had this thing posted man. Oh, and I'm sorry for any flaws and or errors I might have missed D:

Everytime I wrote "A storm's coming" I heard Anne Hathaway XD

Thank you for taking your time to review, favorite, and follow, I really appreciate it guys. So don't forget to review and let me know what you think, and if you haven't heard this today then you need to. You are a beautiful person, and no, I'm not just saying that.


	13. Chapter 13

_Sometimes toys break; even your favorite ones. Same thing for people too. _

_**Disclaimer: We've already established that I don't won Victorious, so quit asking… It breaks my heart every time I have to say it **_

Tori's POV

I look at myself in the mirror. I decided to go with straight hair today-something I haven't done in quite awhile- because my usual curls just seemed too… Happy for the occasion. I sigh as I take in the rest of the reflection before me. I'm wearing a black button up shirt, a black skirt that goes down a couple of inches past my knees-where it flares out slightly, and a pair of white open toed high heels. I cast my eyes down to the floor because I can't believe what I'm wearing. I can't believe I'm dressed to go to my grandma's** funeral**. _After today… I'll never see her again… I know I wasn't really seeing __**her **__anyways, but still being able to see her physically was both a blessing and a curse. _It's been three days since she passed away. It's been three days since I cried at all. I glance over at my clock and decide it's about time that I need to go downstairs. I walk over to my dresser, grab my purse, and begin walking towards my door. Before I open it, I take a deep breath, knowing that today's going to be a long day. These last three days have been… Tiring to say the least. I helped Mom and Grandpa in all of the funeral planning that directly affected Grandma, while Trina and Dad opted to do the other things such as flowers, and telling our other relatives and such. Out of Grandpa, Mom, and I, I'd honestly have to say I've been the most level headed, knowing the details of everything going on. It's funny though, it's as if none of this is happening and the days are racing by so fast that if I blink I'm afraid I'd miss them, while at the same time they seem like they'll never end.

Trina's been taking this fairly hard, I've on multiple accounts had to hold her early into the morning as she cried at the loss of our grandmother, while Mom's been… Unreadable. She's been gone more than not lately. At first I figured it was because she was doing things for the funeral, but if that were the case, I don't think she'd be out until three in the morning every night. The first night I had ran into her in the living room just as she had been coming through the door. I asked where she had been, not really thinking it was an unjustified question, but she only replied by asking me why I was still awake. I merely shrugged at her, not ready to answer her if she wasn't going to answer me first. My mother and I had stayed like that, sizing each other up momentarily before my mother simply shook her head at me and walked away, leaving me standing there, alone, and not sure what to think about the whole thing. In all reality, I haven't been sleeping very well for the past few days, even the night when Jade was here, after I had initially woken up crying as she held me, I could only manage two hours before I woke up again. I smile at this thought.

I had woken up on my back, Jade's arms were wrapped around me holding me to her. My arm was acting as her pillow and she was curled into me, our legs tangled beneath my covers. I turned my head to look at her, and had smiled softly at her. She looked so serene, her face a smooth slab of marble, the day's emotions not having carved any lines into it yet. Her black hair was strewn out behind her, contrasting like an ink stain against my white sheets. I then had climbed out of bed, careful not to wake my sleeping friend, once that was accomplished, I had gotten dressed as quietly as possible after my shower. I was almost on my way out of my room before I stopped in my tracks. I began biting my lip, before I fished out a piece of paper and a pen from my computer desk. The note was simple in every aspect of the word, it only read a small, hastily scribbled "**Thank you.**" that I left on her shoes, so that I knew she'd see it. That was the last time I saw her over the weekend. I take another deep breath before I open my door. _Not that she hadn't tried._ I felt a twinge of guilt tug in my chest. Jade had texted me since then, asking if I was okay enough for a phone call or a visit. I occasionally could handle talking to her for a couple of minutes, we've been texting almost nonstop though. I didn't want to push her away, so I'd force myself to answer her texts, and surprisingly with each one, it got easier to act like normal with her.

"Hey, you look nice." Dad says, breaking my train of thought. I scan him up and down, taking in his normal black suit.

"You too Dad." I answer, offering him a small smile, hoping he finds it comforting and convincing. He smiles back at me, but I can tell it's forced.

"What's wrong?" I ask, thinking maybe it's something besides Grandma. He looks at me, expression torn between whatever inner conflict he was going through. He sighs heavily before raising a hand to rub awkwardly at the back of his neck.

"Nothing Kiddo, don't worry about it." He answers, again trying to give me an obviously bogus smile.

"Okay then Dad, but I'm here if you-" I start off, willing to let the subject drop, but he interrupts me.

"D-Do you know where your mother's been lately Tori?" He asks, all of his crappy acting gone from the equation and I can here it. The worry, the pain, the loneliness, the slight twinge of anger maybe, and it kills me to not be able to put his worries to a rest. I solemnly shake my head at him while casting my glance down the hallway, as if I'd somehow see the answer there. "Okay, thanks Kiddo." He replies quickly, then retreats towards the door that will lead to his and my mother's room. I shake my head to try and dispel what just transpired and begin my journey to the living room again. As I make my way down the stairs I spot Trina sitting on the couch, her back to me, head hung low. I walk up behind her, placing my hand on her upper back, so that she knows I'm here.

"I love you." Trina says, almost so quietly that I don't catch it. It's such a random thing to hear from her, so I don't know what to say. She looks up at me, her pink tinged eyes looking at with an almost pleading expression. "I do, you're like, the best little sister ever, and I know I can be a gank sometimes, but I'm really glad I have you as a sister Tori…" She finishes, her eyes still begging me to believe her. I smile at her.

"I love you too Treen, and I think the statement that you can be a gank **sometimes**, might be an understatement y'know?" I tell her, adding an emphasis to the word "understatement" and winking at her as I finish my sentence. She smiles at me and gently slaps my thigh.

"Whatever you say Baby Sis." She replies, throwing my younger age in my face, to which I simply roll my eyes. We grow quiet, letting the blanket of comfort that's enveloped us run its course, and I'm disappointed when I feel it fizzle, die, and wither away.

"How much sleep have you gotten?" Trina suddenly asks, looking at me with concern.

"Why?" I ask, trying to avoid the question, knowing that she won't be happy with my answer.

"You're always already up when I wake up, and I always go to bed before you, so I don't exactly know how much sleep you've gotten… And no offense, but you're looking a little run down Sis." She replies, almost challenging me to come up with an argument to her reasoning. I debate whether or not I should lie to her, but I decide against it, not really being big on lying.

"About four, maybe five hours total." I answer trying to add up the two hours of sleep I got when Jade was here, then the one hour a night after that. She just looks at me, trying to decode what's going on with me maybe.

"That's not healthy y'know?" She asks, trying to hide her concern behind sarcasm. I nod my head at her, not really wanting to get a speech at the moment. I hear footsteps on the stairs and direct my attention to them, silently being grateful for the interruption. I watch as my mother and father both make their way down the stairs, my mom slightly ahead of my dad as if they can't walk down them together.

"Hey Mom you-" Trina starts off, probably about to compliment how awesome our mother looks in her black dress, but she can't because she's interrupted.

"Let's go." My mother interjects, sounding mad as she grabs her car keys and is already out the door before I can comprehend what just happened. My dad offers Trina an apologetic look, glances at me with a tired look, and then silently follows our mother out the door. I look back at Trina who looks like she didn't get a call back for a role she had really wanted- she looks rejected. It hurts even more knowing that our own mother caused this look.

"C'mon Treen." I say softly, offering her my hand. She looks at me, then down to my hand before taking it in hers. I pull her up off of the couch and into a hug. She clings to me momentarily before I hear her taking deep breaths, probably trying not to cry.

"What's happening to everything Tori?" She asks softly, sounding like a small child who's lost their parents in a big store. I feel my heart give a painful tug because that's exactly what I've been wanting to know since Friday.

"I don't know." I answer honestly before I pull away from her, grab her wrist, and guide the both of us towards the door.

* * *

We pull up to the funeral home about forty-five minutes later, Mom not having said a word to anyone in the car the entire time. The rest of us had made small talk that slowly started fading as we neared the dreaded destination. _Here we go… _I think as I unbuckle my seat belt and climb out of the car. We walk into the building together- well sort of, Mom's walking ahead of us, but the rest of us are together- and we're directed to the room where the service is going to be. As we enter the threshold of said room, I see my grandmother lying in a luxurious wooden box. I've seen the casket already, having been there when it was picked out. I had wanted to spit I was so angry when we had been arranging all of this. I found it sick and repulsive that people were making a living off of other people's suffering and loss. I had been able to hear other people as they arranged their loved one's funerals too, and I felt so bad for them. Then there was the lady in a suit, sitting in front of us, talking about money and the things it would get us for the funeral. I hated her instantly. She was actually an okay woman I guess, she seemed decent enough, but under the circumstances, her first impression for me had been prematurely decided.

But now I'm looking at my grandma as she's lying in the casket, the casket that's going in the ground, forever… I take a deep breath and clench my fists, my nails digging into my palms, I don't release the pressure until I feel the tears retreat back into my skull. _I will not cry here. _I feel a hand on my lower back and turn around, ready to snap at someone for touching me but the green eyes that are staring back at me shut me up. Jade's standing there, her hair's in it's normal style, she's wearing a tight fitting black dress that has lace sleeves that end just above her hands, and it has layers that start where her waist is, and that only widen out until the last layer ends about an inch above the ground.

"You look beautiful." I say, taking in the breath taking image that is Jade West. She smirks at me.

"Quit drooling Vega." She replies, winking at me causing me to smile at her. I wrap my arms around her neck, breathing in her familiar scent as I do. She wraps her arms around my waist and we just stand there holding each other for a moment. "By the way, you don't look so bad yourself." Jade whispers into my ear before letting go of me. I simply smile back in reply. I reach out and grab her hand, taking it into mine.

"C'mon." I answer to her quizzical look. I drag her behind me until I spot what- or who actually- I'm looking for. My grandpa's talking with some man I've never seen before as I start to direct us towards him.

"Hey Grandpa." I greet with a happy tone while I release Jade's hand to give him a hug.

"Hey there, how're you doing?" He asks while squeezing me in his hug.

"I'm doing okay, what about you?" I ask, wanting to make sure that he's okay, or at least as okay as he can be.

"I'm doing okay too." He replies, placing both of his hands on either of my shoulders before directing his attention towards Jade. "And who's this young lady we have here?" He asks as he turns and wraps one arm around my shoulders.

"This is my best friend, Jade West. Jade, this is my grandpa." I introduce, motioning one to the other with my hand awkwardly.

"Ah, so this is the Jade that we heard so much about!" My grandfather exclaims excitedly before letting go of me to step towards Jade. "She really is as beautiful as you said Tori." He tacks on, as he places his hands on Jade's shoulders. I see Jade shoot me a look before Grandpa hugs her and hides her from my view. _I know I talked about her sometimes, but there's no way I told them "so much" about her… And oh my God, did I call her beautiful? I mean, she is, but I don't think I would've told them that... Would I have? Did I? _I can't make any sense of these things right now, and I notice that my grandfather and Jade have been hugging this whole time. I watch as Jade's hand awkwardly pats his back for a few seconds before he releases her. "Thank you." Grandpa whispers, just barely loud enough for me to catch before he's walking off in the opposite direction.

"Uh, what happened?" I ask, not entirely comprehending what just transpired.

"He thanked me for coming here, and he thanked me for being here for you." She answers, looking put off by the amount of emotion my grandfather just showed towards her. I almost forgot that she's not really used to emotional things with other people. _Nope, just me._ This thought makes me feel almost happy, even given my current location. Jade clearing her throat redirects my attention towards her. She's standing there with a smirk on her face.

"You think I'm beautiful?" She asks, making heat flare up on my face. Her low chuckle graces my ears before I turn around abruptly.

"I don't have time for this, I have to get stuff done, so if you'd excuse me." I reply quickly, walking away from her. I hear her laugh, an actual laugh this time before I hear her following footsteps and soon enough she's walking by my side.

"Mind if I help?" She asks genuinely, the teasing tone of her voice gone.

"Not at all." I reply without thought, knowing that I really wouldn't mind, not one bit.

* * *

_Oh my God… No! Not here, c'mon, it's almost over, don't cry._ I bite the inside of my cheek, the flaming feeling of pain distracting me from the music that's making me want to cry. Including this time, I've come close to crying three times, but not a single tear has fallen- and not a single tear will. I wrap my arm around Trina, who's sitting on my left as she hunches over slightly while she cries again. I glance over to my right, seeing my dad sitting there with tears in his eyes, and I wish Mom was sitting here to hug him. Mom's sitting on the other side of Trina, she all but **refused** to sit next to our father during this, and I don't understand why…

"Now if you'd walk by and say your last good-byes before we resume the service at the site of burial, do so now." The speaker says, signaling for the other people who've shown up to get up and walk by Grandma. Gary walks by quickly and shakes my father's hand, giving him a sympathetic look. He nods his head towards Trina and I before giving our mother a long hug. _That's... Odd, but okay then._ I brush it off as people being overly emotional before redirecting my attention to the front. Minutes later I see Jade walking up there, she looks at my grandmother and whispers something to her, but I can't tell what it was. Then she's walking towards us, she reaches her hand out and shakes my father's as he just nods his head at her. She looks at me, silently asking if she should hug me, and I want to say no, but I know that's a shitty thing to do. I nod my head slightly and lean forward to meet her halfway. As soon as I feel her arms wrap around me I feel safe, and it makes me want to cry right on the spot. It takes all of my self control not to jerk away from her, but the hug is over soon enough. She then directs her attention towards Trina.

"Eww, do I have to?" She asks quietly, a small smile gracing her face. Trina makes a big deal of rolling her eyes in reply.

"Not like I'll like it either freak-a-zoid." Trina answers as she reaches out to receive a hug from Jade. I watch as Trina whispers something too low for me to hear to Jade. As Jade pulls back from the hug, her face isn't joking anymore, instead it's serious and determined. She nods her head towards Trina who simply looks at her in return before Jade continues shaking hands with my family. I think about asking, but I figure if I was supposed to know, then I would've been told. I shrug my shoulders and instead focus on the random people that are coming to offer their condolences to my family.

* * *

"Hey, what're you up to?" Jade asks as she flops down onto the couch beside me. I look up from the floor before I answer her.

"Oh you know… Just…" I make a circular motion with one hand, "sitting." I respond lamely, not knowing what else to say. The rest of the funeral had gone by rather quickly, we left the funeral home, went through the procession, got to the grave yard, and… That was that. No one really cried at the grave site, maybe because they already shed all of their tears, I don't know, it was just something I realized since I didn't have to comfort anyone really. I hear Jade hum in response as she nods her head thoughtfully. I reach into my purse to retrieve my phone while I wait for her to say something. _3 o' clock… Good god it's only 3 o' clock? _I run my hand over my face tiredly.

"You okay?" Jade asks, but it looks like she instantly regrets asking that specific question. Suddenly I feel guilty for Jade having to worry about what she says around me, so I smile at her and nod my head.

"Yeah, just tired. It's been a long day." I reply, noting that it's not really a lie. She nods her head at me, but her expression doesn't tell me that she's sold on my response.

You should go crash up in your room." She offers at length, nodding her head towards the stairs behind her as she says this. I can't say the thought hasn't crossed my mind, but I don't want to go to sleep.

"I would, but I keep getting the feeling that there's something else I'll need to go do, another errand that I can run for someone y'know?" I answer, trying to be as honest with her as I can without it sounding like I'm complaining.

"Well there's not Tori, you're done for the day, all you have to do now is take care of you." She replies, poking my shoulder as she says the last "you". I smile sadly at her. _I need to take care of this whole family Jade… _But I can't tell her this, so I simply nod my head instead. "You're not going upstairs are you?" She asks, a grin on her face, but I can hear the small undercurrent of irritation in her voice. I shake my head at her which just earns me a heavy sigh. "Well, here then." She says as she begins to scoot over on the couch. I just look at her until she pats her lap, then I understand what she's proposing. I smile at her before I begin to situate myself by hanging my legs over the arm of the couch, leaving them dangling as I lay back, resting my head on her lap.

"Thanks Jade." I say as sleep instantly fogs my mind, and makes my eyelids feel as if they weigh a ton. She only hums in response, the sound rumbling in her chest, and I wish she'd sing, but I know that she probably wouldn't seeing as the house is somewhat full with visitors, distant family members, and such. So instead I lay there, letting sleep crawl over me as her humming lulls me into a black oblivion.

* * *

"**What are you saying?!" **someone screams, anger evident in their voice, but I can't tell who it is or what it's about since I'm still half asleep. I hear a fuzzy reply, but no distinct words as I bring my hand up to my face to wipe away the traces of sleep. With my eyes now open, I note the close up of red fabric that is my couch pressed against my face. I sleepily sit up and rummage for my purse, trying to get to my phone to find out what time it is. I somewhat note the sudden absence of yelling and dismiss it as a bad dream. _Wouldn't be the first one lately. _I groan at the slightly depressing thought before I smile in triumph as I find my phone atop my bag. _Oh dang… It's 1 o' clock in the morning… They let me sleep on the couch? _I frown momentarily, remembering the good old days when I'd fall asleep on the couch and wake up all nice and cozy in my bed. _Why? There shouldn't be a "too old" for that. _I conclude, and just as I'm about to hoist myself off of the couch, I hear yelling from upstairs. _It wasn't a dream?_

"**What do you mean, 'why are you acting this way'?! Of course I'm pissed off! You've been fucking my best friend Holly! What'd you expect?!" **Dad yells behind him as he stomps down the stairs, my mom following a couple of steps behind. _She's- Do what? I must've heard wrong…_ I shake my head to clear my thoughts so that I can maybe hear him correctly this time.

"**David! I knew you'd be mad, but-**" Mom starts, but she can't finish because she's interrupted.

"**Gary of all people Holly! It had to be Gary?!**" Dad yells at her, and I can hear the hurt that's practically drippingfrom his words. _I didn't hear wrong…_

"**You've been cheating on him?!"** I yell out before I realize it, andat first, I thought there was an echo in the room, but when I look at the staircase I see my older sister standing there with a hurt expression and a serious case of bed-head. Our parents look at us so fast I'm surprised they didn't get whiplash, and both of them have a shocked expression. Dad's the first one to move.

"Guys, go to bed, we'll talk about this in the morning." He says tiredly, and as much as I want to- if not to just make this whole thing easier for him, I can't.

"That's where you've been…" I whisper out, not knowing if they heard me, but not really having meant to say it aloud regardless.

"What Tori?" Mom- Holly asks me. Suddenly I'm so mad I could spit fire.

"**That's where you've been!**" I yell, as I point a finger accusingly at her and get up from the couch. "**As this family was crumbling to pieces, when we needed our mom-**" I continue to yell as I stomp towards her, not stopping until I'm an inch away from her, "**You were too busy screwing Dad's partner to do your job!**" I finish, the broken look that danced across my mother's face doing nothing to dampen this sudden fire raging within me. But then, something doesn't make any sense.. "Why now? Why'd you decide to share this information now?" _Of all times._ Mo- _damn it. _Holly takes a deep breath and she takes a sideways step to try and put some distance between us I guess before she answers me.

"With everything going on.. The guilt was just too much…" She replies, sounding so full of self-pity, I can't do anything other than laugh. At first I'm just chuckling, but then I'm giggling, and now I'm full on laughing. I'm hunched over, with an arm wrapped around my midsection because it hurts so much, but I can't stop laughing. After what seems like hours I'm finally able to stop. I stand up straight, take a few deep breaths, and wipe the tears away from my eyes before I can think of doing anything else. Now we're all just standing around, everyone judging what the other person is about to do. I look at Trina and see the sad, hurt, and lost look in her eyes, and I wonder momentarily if mine reflect hers. "Tor-" My mom starts while reaching her hand towards me.

That's when I feel something snap.

"**Don't you fucking touch me!**" I yell as I slap her hand away. Her eyes- and everyone else's I'm sure- widen in shock at my actions. Then my mother's expression goes from hurt to angry.

"**Young lady! Remember who you're talking to!**" She yells back, but doesn't make a physical move closer to me. I scoff at her.

"**As if you have any right to chastise my behavior!**" I retort, my voice dripping with venom that makes her take a step back.

"Tori may-" Dad starts, but I cut him off.

"Don't Dad." Is all I say, holding my hand up to him, which surprisingly shuts him up. "I'm leaving, I'll be back.. Whenever." I inform them, knowing I won't be able to hear my mother's voice again without physically harming that woman. No one voices any protest as I grab my purse and phone from the couch and walk out the door, letting it slam shut behind me. I stalk towards my car, just letting the anger run its course because I don't know what else to do. I've never been this mad before, not even when Stephen cheated on me, so I don't know what to do. I think about driving over to Jade's, but I'm afraid that I'd just lash out at her, and as mad as I am right now, I'm not sure if my anger would last long around her, and the last thing I want right now is to get in a fight with Jade. Without any final decision being made, I'm backing out of my driveway and away from my crumbling family. _How the hell did I not see this coming? I mean really? _I grit my teeth and my grip on the steering wheel tightens until my knuckles turn white and pop under the pressure. I turn on my radio and debate turning it to a rock station, just to get the blood pumping, just so I can scream along with the singers and maybe get rid of some of this anger. But I decide against it, knowing that all it'd really do is just make me that much more mad. So I turn it to a station where they just play acoustics. I let the songs rub against the sharp edges of my anger, sanding them down, until it's rounded out and controllable.

I roll my windows down to let the cool breeze carry away the remnants of my anger into the dark, early morning sky. As the lights wash over my car when I pass them, and the smooth melodies float through my speakers, I can almost forget about what's happening. I can almost forget that my whole life just changed in a mere three and a half days. I can almost forget that sickeningly sweet snap inside myself that I felt in the kitchen. _Almost._

* * *

A:N/ Hey guys, sorry this is late, I got sick over the weekend and it was pretty bad, but I'm feeling better now. So I decided that I shall post this chapter before all of my late work swamps me. :/ Oh, and be expecting a possible one-shot in the near future because during one of my fever induced dreams, the idea came to me, although I haven't decided whether or not I'm going to go through with it. But anyways, thank you guys for taking the time to review, favorite, and follow, it's really a privilege to have you enjoy this story enough to do that. Now, if I can, just take a second to reflect on what a douchelobster Gary is? :( And speaking of Gary, I'd like to apologize for any errors I might have missed :( Okay, well, I need to get to bed, so, please review and let me know what you think! :) Until next time! ;)


	14. Chapter 14

_Sometimes toys break; even your favorite ones. Same thing for people too. _

_**Disclaimer: *looks down in defeat* I still don't own Victorious or any of the characters involved (Thanks for rubbing it in) T-T**_

Jade's POV

_Damn it…_ I sigh for what seems like the thousandth time while dropping my phone onto my bed. I wanted to call Tori, but it went straight to voice mail telling me that she's turned off her phone. _I knew she'd block people out… But completely? _I run a hand over my face tiredly as I raise up from my sitting position. I look around my room to see if there's anything that will distract my mind from the youngest Vega before I drive myself insane. _Nope, nothing eye catching. _I stretch, raising my arms above my head until I hear and feel a very satisfying pop from my lower back. Having nothing better to do, I fall back onto my bed and stare up at the ceiling.

"_I know you don't owe me anything, or even like me that much, but she'll need you, and it'd mean the world to me if you'd be there for her where I can't be." _Trina's words float through my head. I begin to worry my lower lip as I recall the odd things that happened to me at Vega's grandma's funeral. Her grandfather had been, really friendly I guess, and Trina had said those words to me.

_Tori introduced me to her grandfather and he was just smiling at me, and at first I didn't understand why he was smiling at me. Why would he force that on his face at such an awful appointment, just because he's meeting one of Vega's friends? Then I remembered that the obvious answer was that he was related to Tori, of course he'd smile for something so… Insignificant. Not that I'm not hot shit or anything, but still. _I scoff at my own joke before refocusing. _He then indirectly called me "beautiful", and as much as that weirded me out, it wasn't really all that bad. Especially seeing as it was apparently Vega who had told him as much. When I heard that I had a weird feeling in my stomach that made me want to blush… Kind of similar to the times when Beck would tell me he liked a certain shirt on me or something along those lines. The difference being, this was a lot stronger, almost equivalent to the hurricanes in my stomach when I ask Dad or Mom to come to one of my plays. Even now, just thinking about it makes a familiar burning sensation rush across my cheeks. Alright, enough of this blushing schoolgirl bull, we were thinking of serious things remember? Right, yeah, back on subject. He hugged me. I stiffened as a reflex, but he still didn't let go, and I got the feeling that he needed the hug… I don't know why I cared, but the thought was enough to keep me from pushing him off. _

"_My wife and I heard a lot about you young lady, and I'm getting the feeling that it was all true." He stated quietly, but quickly. I had wanted to ask him if that was a bad or good thing, but seeing as I shouldn't care what he thought of me, I held in my curiosity. "Thank you for helping my granddaughter, I can't thank you enough… And no matter what happens with y'all, I'll be happy with it because I know that no matter what you've done, you're good enough for her." Was the last thing he said before he pulled away, leaving me thinking about what the hell he had meant. I didn't understand what had just happened, so I simply stood there, my mind reeling to try and comprehend what he had meant. At that moment the best reply I could've mustered would've been the brilliant answer of, "Huh?". But then Vega came up to me, so I had to push that aside and focus on the task that was, being there for her. Then when the funeral had started, I practically stared at Vega the whole time, wishing I could try to do something to help her, but I never saw her shoulders shake in the slightest, so I knew that even if I had been within a touching distance, she probably would've rejected it. Then came the part of the service where you walk by the deceased person, and then offer your sympathy to the family of. I knew that Vega's grandma wasn't really there, and that talking to a dead person wasn't exactly the brightest thing to do, but even with this running through my head, the words slipped out of my mouth as I looked down at the seemingly asleep woman. _

"_I'll take care of her, I promise." had gently flowed from my mouth in a soft whisper before I turned away, leaving her behind, but the words still lingering over me. I saw Vega's dad sitting there, his eyes a slight shade of pink if you looked hard enough, and I had been filled with a thousand nerves at seeing him. I always get nervous around Vega's parents- not that I'd ever admit it because I'm Jade West and I don't get nervous- but whatever. I shook his hand, and I could tell that this was taking a lot out of him. Then I saw Tori sitting there, her face torn between need and determination. I could tell that she didn't want a hug, but I also knew that she needed one, so I left it up to her. I let her make the decision, and when she actually agreed and let me hug her, I was pleasantly surprised. As soon as I hugged her though I felt her tense up, almost exactly like me when I have to hug other people, so I quickly ended the exchange. Then I glanced over at Trina, I momentarily debated whether or not to give her a hug. I don't necessarily like her, and I know the feeling is mutual, but she's going through a hard time, so… I didn't understand why I cared, but I blame the youngest Vega for it. We exchanged a quick joking banter, but when I hugged her, Trina told me the words that are currently plaguing me. _

"_I know you don't owe me anything, or even like me that much, but she'll need you, and it'd mean the world to me if you'd be there for her where I can't be." had been whispered into my ear, too low for anyone other than me to hear. I had just promised Vega's grandmother that I'd do that, so I simply nodded at her in reply, leaving them behind as I continued shaking hands with the closest family members. Then we had gone back to the Vega household, and after I had finally gotten Tori to go to sleep- after I found out how much sleep she had gotten the past few days through her older sister- I had left._

"So what the hell happened?" I groan out as I run my hands over my face in frustration. Tori had been distant since the funeral to say the least. We had all been worried about her, the dark circles under her eyes letting us know that she hasn't been sleeping very well, and her quiet demeanor letting us know that she was being troubled by something. I thought I knew what it was, that she was just upset by the funeral, but something tells me that it's not just that. _She wasn't even that distant at the funeral, so it has to be something else… But what? _I huff in annoyance at the circle my mind seems to be running. "Yep… Time for a beverage." I state before forcing myself up and off of my bed. I try to keep my mind off of Vega- at least until I make it into the kitchen- but I have little success. _Why won't she talk to us? No, why won't she talk to me, that's what I want to know… _I shake my head to dispel the Vega related thoughts as I make my way down the stairs. Having successfully made it to the first floor, I begin walking towards the kitchen. I journey over to the black coffee pot that's sitting atop my kitchen counter, just waiting to serve its purpose. "And it was said, let there be coffee." I comment lamely as I hit the power button. _As great as apple juice is… Coffee just can't be beat. _I hum in agreement with my thoughts as I lean against the island, waiting for my coffee to be made. Moments later my wish is granted, and I step forward to reach into the cabinet to grab a cup to hold my drink. I pour the liquid into the black mug and set it down so that I can clean the coffee maker and give my drink time to cool. As I take out the coffee filter that's full of used grounds, my mind keeps drifting back to Vega. _I wonder what she's doing right now… I wonder why she's so upset… _I quietly growl at myself, fed up with how pathetic I sound to myself. By now I'm filling the new filter with fresh coffee grounds so that it'll be ready for the next pot I make. With that done I sidestep back over to the cup of coffee that's beckoning me with it's gentle curls of steam. I reach over to my left, procuring two packets of sugar from the container that holds them within easy reach since I use them so frequently. Using one of the coffee stirrers that sits next to the sugar container, I mix my concocted beverage. I gently blow on the steaming liquid as I turn to throw away the used stirrer. Still trying to cool it, I begin walking towards the living room. I retrieve a coaster from the holder on the coffee table and plop down onto the couch. Sipping the heavenly drink that is coffee, I'm able to forget about Tori and how odd she's acting. _Maybe you should just go over… _

The thought's crossed my mind multiple times, but I'm not sure if that's the best plan of action… On one hand, it could work in my favor, and I could maybe get Vega to talk to me, but on the other hand, she could get mad that I just showed up. _Since when have you cared about just showing up at her house? _My eyebrows dig down towards my nose as I contemplate this. _I'm Jade West, if I want to show up at your house unexpected, then that's what's going to happen… _I'm suddenly filled with something akin to anger at my own behavior. I want to sneer at myself for being a mopping around teenager, instead of someone who's going to get results by any means necessary. "Yeah, look out Vega, no more sulking around, I'll be there in a minute!" I say determinedly as I raise up from the couch, starting to slightly jog to my room before coming to a halt at the foot of the stairs. I turn around slowly, my mind being made up mid-turn. "Well, after I finish my coffee." I add lamely, walking back to my almost abandoned drink.

* * *

_Okay, deep breath West, you can do this. You're going to fix this- fix her because you promised you would. Yeah, I can do this. _I nod my head in agreement with myself, raising my hand to the door bell to the Vega household. Something seems off about it though, it's not radiating that homey feeling that I usually associate with this place. _Probably the circumstances, it's just in my head. _I press the glowing button, for the first time noticing the slightly chilling winter breeze that's become more frequent in the past days, winter having arrived. I hear footsteps behind the door and I shiver slightly, but not because of the wind.

"Who is it?" I hear a familiar, slightly annoying voice ask as the door swings open. I simply incline my head towards Trina as she looks at me with something like shock on her face.

"Took you long enough." Trina states, anger serving as an undercurrent in her voice as she turns away from me to sit down on the couch. Hearing her tone, my first reaction is to snap back at her, but her words cause me to come up short, not knowing their meaning. She glances back at me, before rolling her eyes. "You coming in, or are you just going to stand there?" She asks curtly before returning her attention to the TV that I just noticed is on. A horrendous reality TV show flashing by on the screen. "She's upstairs." Trina informs me as I step inside, closing the door behind me.

"Thanks, but, what do you mean, 'took me long enough'?" I ask, trying to let her attitude go, but it's proving to be a difficult task seeing as I never was Trina's friend to begin with, and dealing with my friend's attitudes was hard enough- let alone people I don't like. She sighs heavily.

"I asked you to be there for her, and instead you let her hide herself away. I was beginning to wonder if you'd actually show up, or if you'd just let her go." Trina replies, the anger slightly more evident now. I take a deep breath through my nose, wrestling with the raging beast that is my anger at her behavior. I know that if I say anything, it'll just be something mean, and I'm not here to get in a fight with Trina, so I simply hum in response as I turn towards the staircase that will lead me to the youngest Vega's room. The hallway is surprisingly dark, and I can see a shaft of light appearing from underneath the door that I know conceals Tori's room. I step up to it, and raise my fist slowly, mentally preparing myself for whatever is about to happen. I take a deep breath, hoping to dispel the anger Trina had formed so that it wouldn't be directed at Tori. Feeling successful with that, I rap my knuckles against the wood gently, but loud enough so that I know it'll be heard.

"Come in." A muffled voice replies. I steel my nerves as I open the door, and I'm surprisingly met with a familiar scene. Her room appears to be in the same state- clean and organized-, then there's her, sitting at her computer desk, her music library open and I can faintly hear a rock song flowing from the speakers. A faint smile appears on her face before she turns back towards the computer, facing away from me. "Hey." She says as if this were any other visit, but I can hear the strain in her voice. _I'm not really in the mood for games Vega._

"Hey yourself." I reply, trying to keep my voice monotone, not wanting to let her hear the irritation at everything in it and taking it the wrong way.

"What's up?" She asks, still refusing to look at me. I close her door and walk over to her, setting down the cup of orange juice I had picked up on my way over here. She looks at it, then turns her head to look back at me, mumbling a quick thanks before returning her attention to the monitor.

"Yeah, no problem." I reply absentmindedly, now distracting myself by inspecting her room more closely. I had misjudged my earlier observations, if anything, this place is cleaner than usual- there's not a single thing out of place. _I swear she's got the things on her dresser set at right angles and arranged my height and importance… _It almost unsettles me a little that she has her room this way. Not that I don't appreciate a clean environment- quite the opposite actually- it's just that out of the two of us, I'm the neat one, but her room right now would put mine to shame. Then I notice the awkward silence that's fallen around us, and walk to the other side of her room to sit down on her bed. _Is the comforter folded at right angles too?_ I gently sit down on it- almost afraid to mess it up- before redirecting my attention the half-Latina girl who's still refusing to look at me. "How's your Christmas break going?" I ask lamely, fiddling with my fingers in my lap as I do. _We just got out of school today? Yeah I know… _

"Uh, good so far… You?" She asks, sounding more tired than when I came in- as if this interaction was draining her of energy. _Yeah… Sorry Tori, I've had enough of this._

"Hmm, pretty good… Other than the fact that one of my best friends has been acting like a total stranger for the past week and refuses to so much as answer a single text from me." I reply, the hint of hurt tingeing my voice, shocking me slightly, but I keep my face in check, simply staring at the back of her head. I can visibly see her entire frame stiffen at my words, but she still doesn't turn around. There's a sudden physical feeling of strain in the air, as if my words had started a timer on a bomb, and any words we say could cause it to go off faster. I don't know what to say, so I don't say anything at all. Instead I quietly sit here, waiting for her to say something, anything really. After what feels like an eternity, I hear her take a deep breath, before releasing it in a long sigh. I expect her to say something now, but she doesn't, instead she repeats this, over and over. I'm about to ask what she's doing, but then I hear the hitch in her breath. Then her shoulders start to shake slightly. I'm up and pulling her into my arms before I can even register the actions. As soon as my arms wrap around her, she begins sobbing violently, but it only lasts for a second before she's pushing me back. Taken by surprise at the action, I let my arms fall to my side and step back. She's looking up at me, her eyes and cheeks tinged red, tears running down her face, and her breathing still slightly labored. With a feeling of shock, I notice that she looks pissed.

"No! Don't Jade! God! Just no!" She yells at me, rubbing her face furiously, trying to get rid of the tears. I don't even know what to say, so I just stand here and look at her confused. "Y-You-" she says, her voice sounding so disgusted as she jabs her finger into my shoulder harshly. _What the hell?_ "don't need to be here!" She continues, stepping towards me, causing me to take a step back. Out of all the mean things I've done to this girl, I've never seen her this mad at me before. "I was doing fine without you!" She practically snarls the words at me, again poking my shoulder roughly, causing me to step back again. _What the- **oh hell no**! _Suddenly I'm just as angry as Vega looks, and I can't control it this time.

"Don't even Vega!" I snap at her, my voice instantly reverting back into its harsh normality. "'I was doing just fine!"' I mock in that voice I know that she hates, repeating her lie back in her face as I take a step forward to gain back some of my yielded ground. "Yeah Vega, because worrying all of your friends is totally, 'doing fine'!" I tack on, pointing out where the fault in her words lies.

"I don't talk like that!" She yells, frustration now accompanying her anger.

"I don't talk like that!" I repeat as I step forward again, reverting back to my habit of doing things just to simply piss off the youngest Vega. I smirk at her when she backs up a step, having successfully made up all of my lost ground. She looks so mad, but at the moment I couldn't care less, I came over here to try and help her and she's going to act like that? _Ha, no. _I'm about to tell her as much, but then she's crying again, and she's on her knees, rocking back and forth while holding herself as if she might fall apart. I feel all of my anger instantly drain out of me- disappearing as suddenly as it had come- and then I'm crouching down so that I can be eye level with her. _What just happened? I don't even know… _

"I'm sorry!" Tori sobs, sounding so broken that I swear I feel my heart crack a little. "You d-didn't deserve any of that… I'm s-so sorry!" She continues, fighting through the sobs to get her apology out.

"Hey, hey, it's cool, don't worry about it." I say as I open my arms, letting her know that she can get a hug if she wants one. That torn look flashes across her face again before she shakes her head violently at me.

"I can't…" She whispers, just barely audible above her labored breathing.

"Why can't you?" I ask, rocking forward so that I'm on my knees now so that I can move easier.

"You make me weak." She replies, her words rushed, sounding almost on the verge of worried, making it sound as if she's trying to convince me- or herself- of that fact. I merely raise an eyebrow at her, silently asking her to elaborate. "Every time I hug you, it makes me feel safe, and e-every time I feel that way, it m-makes me want to cry! But I can't cry because I need to be strong right now!" She explains, her voice growing in volume with each word, her crying becoming more uncontrolled.

"Tor-" I start, shuffling closer towards her, but she rocks forwards, so that she's standing on her knees too, grabbing my shoulders and shaking me slightly, effectively interrupting me.

"No Jade! Don't you get it? I have to be strong for Trina! I have to be strong for Dad! I-" Tori starts, her voice raising in volume again, trying to convey the urgency of her words I suppose, but I interrupt her.

"Vega, your father's a grown man, I'm sure he can handle your grandmother passing." I try to reassure, hoping that directly mentioning her grandma wouldn't cause any repercussions.

"You don't understand." She states, her voice void of any emotion, her eyes looking like bottomless pits.

"Then explain it to me. Help me understand." I say quietly, almost afraid that any loud volume would cause her to begin crying again. I watch as Tori's eyes search my face frantically, as if the idea of telling me the problem was so new and foreign to her that she simply couldn't comprehend it. I can see the inner conflict that's raging within her, the confusion, fear, and so many other emotions mixing within the dark brown pools of her eyes. I can see that the fear is winning, so before she can talk herself out of telling me I grab her face in my hands, refocusing her attention on me. "It's okay Tori, you can trust me with this." I encourage quietly, still afraid to break this moment we've entered.

"I can't trust anyone Jade…" she whispers back, sounding so sad that the word "sad" doesn't even justify it- no, anguished would be a closer definition. I feel a pang of rejection that she'd think she couldn't trust me, even after I put my trust in her, full heartily and- _No you haven't. _I debate whether or not I should do this. The only person who knows the entire story about my home situation is Beck, and that's only because he had practically forced it out of me. I look at Vega's face, her expression looking so lost and helpless that I make up my mind with only a whisper of second thoughts.

"Do you know why my parents are never home?" I ask, my voice suddenly sounding foreign to my own ears. Tori looks taken aback by the sudden change of subject, but I need to do this, even if it's just to let myself know that I gave her my trust.

"I thought it was just because your parents were always at work or, just gone somewhere… I knew you wouldn't want me to ask either…" She answers, voice taking on the same quality that mine has, making it sound new to me too.

"Well, you're not entirely wrong…" I take a deep breath, preparing to let Vega hear a story that causes so many emotions to flood through me every time I think of it, but regardless, I feel she's earned the right to hear it. _She respects my boundaries, she trusts me- maybe not right now, but I'd like to think that she did, and she's… She's my best friend. _"My mom and dad met early on, my mom was," I pause to think back on the stories my mom would tell me as a kid, trying to remember the details that I just blocked out. "Sixteen I think, and my dad was twenty, and it was," I bring my hands up to make air quotes, "'love at first sight'. Well, needless to say, my dad got her knocked up, and thus, I came into the world." I say while I motion my hands towards my face, forcing a smile on my face. "Well, my dad's really superficial, he only cares about his image, so it didn't hurt that my mom was really pretty too y'know? Now, I'm not sure if you know this or not, but I'm not really big on following rules." I tell her, as if she doesn't already know, smiling fondly at the memories of all the grief I gave that man as a child. I catch a glimpse of a smile that ghosts over Vega's face."As I started getting older, and became… harder to control, he started trying harder." I inspect Vega's face, taking in her enraptured expression, the curiosity practically radiating from her. "If I did something that would be seen as 'negative' by his peers, he'd beat me until I screamed… When I finally figured that out… I stopped screaming." I say, watching her expression morph from curious, to a mix of horror and anger. I try not to shiver at the memories of the beatings that would sometimes go on for hours. How some of them would make it to where I wouldn't be able to sit down for weeks without discomfort, how I'd have to hide the bruises and-

"Did your mom do anything to stop him?" She asks, words rushed as if asking it this way would speed of the process of her finding out. I allow myself to roll my eyes at this.

"No, he convinced her that it was for the best, and since she loved him so much, his word was law." I answer, trying to keep the venom out of voice that's caused because of this prolonged conversation containing my father. The anger begins to dominate her face at hearing this news. "He eventually stopped with the physical abuse once I hit middle school, but he substituted with emotional abuse. Every time I didn't do something to his standards, he'd practically kill time by telling me how worthless I was… Among other things, but worthless was probably the most common. I'd drive myself crazy trying to gain his approval, and I guess I still do huh?" I ask, referring to the play that she had helped me fund in the past. I can see the conflicting emotions of humor and still, the ever persistent, anger fighting to reign her expression. "Then eventually, I stopped trying so hard- for the same reason that I stopped screaming. I may have been left with practically no choices in that situation, but it was never going to be said that Jade West did not put up a fight the entire time." I say, winking at her as I do so, letting her know where my stubbornness originated from. _Speaking of which, I want to know where hers came from because I'd say we're pretty equal with each other on the stubborn scale. _"Thus came the dyed hair, the tattoo, and me pursuing the career of an artist, simply because that's what I wanted, and still want to do with my life, so who should get in the way of that? My ungrateful father? I don't think so. Now, by this time I'm in my last year of middle school, and my father's all but given up on me. Then came the news that my mom was pregnant with my little brother." I state, my mind floating back to that day. My mom asked me to go get her the pregnancy test, and then I had to be very rude to a very nosy clerk who assumed, by my purchase, that I was easy.

"What happened?" Vega asks quietly, as if I'm the one in a trance now, and she doesn't want to break it.

"My father told me that he would not have me corrupt his son, and that we would figure something out so that I wouldn't be worrying him by possibly polluting his sure to be golden child." I reply, the bitterness of my tone quite evident. "So, my father came up with the idea that I'd take the house I currently live in since it's the closest one to Hollywood Arts, and they'd take the other house that we used for emergencies or vacations." I say, remembering how awkward it had been with my mother when her "knight in shining armor" hadn't been around brainwashing her.

"So you're emancipated?" Tori asks, her face now lacking any emotion other than confusion.

"No, but only because something like that would involve the court system, and thus would show up on a background check, and that wouldn't look good on my dad's image. So I stay at my house, he sends me a check twice a month for groceries and such, pays the utilities on the house, and stays out of my hair as long as I'll stay away from his precious family, unless it's during the holidays when he has his bosses and coworkers around. Then I have to go there and play the 'good intentioned girl dressed in black' for him." I finish, just now noticing the stinging of my eyes as a couple of tears overflow from my eyes and begin rolling down my cheeks. "I never willingly told anyone about that." I confess, laughing softly at the feeling of a weight being lifted from my shoulders. I never realized how much my childhood had bugged me until now.

"Your dad sounds like an ass." Tori says as she wipes a few stray tears from my face, smiling softly as she does, but I can hear the undercurrent of truth in her words. _She genuinely doesn't like him because of the way he treated me…_ This thought makes me smile for some reason.

"I- I just want you to know that you can trust me okay?" I ask, my tone almost begging for her to believe me. I see the familiar clash of emotions in her eyes, but it's gone as quickly as it came.

"I know Jade… I' really sorry it's just- so much has been happening in such a short amount of time, that I can't handle all of it." She admits, sounding just as tired as her words suggested. She takes a deep breath and I almost want to hold my breath in hopes that she'll let me try to help her through whatever else has come up. She smiles at me, and with an almost worrying sense of humor says, "My mom's been cheating on my dad with his partner, Gary." _Oh shit._

"Oh shit." I say the words before I can actually catch myself, and then restrain myself from face palming right there. She just keeps that same smile in place, and then I actually realize how much pain she's in. She's almost delirious with it. "Tori, why didn't you tell me?" I ask, wanting to try to comprehend what's going through her head. Her smile falls away as she contemplates this.

"I guess- with everything that I had thought was concrete solid in my life proving to be as steady as water, it caused me to rethink everything… Like, if my parents' **marriage** wasn't rock solid, then how could our **friendship** be? Y'know?" She asks, her inner conflict shining through her words clearly, but it still pains me to know that she would doubt our friendship in the least.

"Yeah, but, we're best friends Vega, you're just gonna have to accept that okay?" I ask, smiling and nudging her shoulder with my elbow as I move to stand up- standing this long on my knees causing my legs to fall asleep. She smiles up at me as I extend my hand to her to help her up. Metaphorically and physically. _Sap. Shut up._

"Well, if you insist…" She replies while pouting at me. I roll my eyes at her antics. She brings her bottom lip between her teeth before letting it go and opening her mouth as if to ask a question, only to close her mouth and begin worrying her lip again. I raise an eyebrow at her. "Will you please stay tonight?" She asks, and if I hadn't already been willing to do anything for her at this point, the pain and loneliness lacing her voice would have convinced me. I make a big deal of thinking about it, scrunching up my face, bring my hand up to my chin as if I was truly baffled by this notion and humming lowly. I take a deep breath through my teeth and roll my eyes until they land on her face, a mixture of playful annoyance and actual worry.

"Well, if you insist." I reply, mocking her earlier words. She heaves an exasperated breath before smiling at me.

"I don't talk like that!" She retorts, still smiling at me. _Yeah, yeah, yeah, heard it all before Vega._

* * *

A/N: Hey guys! :) Yeah, I know this is a week late, but in my defense, I have one word. "School". An Advanced curriculum surprisingly takes up a lot of my time :/ Plus, I might've had a minor case of Writer's Block on this chapter (I'm not entirely happy with it still, but I think it's as good as I could get it.) Jade, you poor baby :( Well, I'll keep this short and sweet, thank you if you've reviewed, favorite'd, and/or followed, it means a lot to have you like this story enough to do so :) So review and let me know what you think! :D Hope this improves your day in the slightest, see you next week! ~Natt


	15. Chapter 15

_Sometimes toys break; even your favorite ones. Same thing for people too. _

_**Disclaimer: *Bangs my head against my desk* I still don't own Victorious (Thanks for reminding me… Yet again.) **_

A/N: Thoughts for the first part will be written like this, '_Just for the first part though, then it'll go back to normal' _

Tori's POV

_I'm walking down a narrow dark hallway. I glance back and forth noticing the pictures that are hanging on either of the walls, squinting my eyes to try and focus the blurry images held within the frames. The hallway ends, opening up to a stair case similar to mine. Honestly, the more I think about it, this seems like a collaboration of my house and my grandparents' house. I walk down the steps, straining my ears to hear anything other than my own footsteps, but to no avail. I round the corner of the stairs and end up in the living room area- or what I assume to be the living room area since there's a couch, two recliners, and a TV in here. I look around to see if there's anyone else here, but the house seems to be empty. I walk to the wall that's separating where my kitchen would normally be, but in my grandparents' house, you have to go through a door to get to the dining room, then you can get to the kitchen, so I guess that's why the wall is here. I reach my hand down to grip the brass doorknob and turn it while I push the door open. As I cross through the threshold of the door I stop mid step as my breath catches in my throat, threatening to choke me. _

"_Why hello there dear, I thought you would've come sooner than this." My grandma greets cheerfully, but I can't say anything in return. "Well come on then, your drink is going to get cold." She encourages, gesturing to the cups of steaming coffee that I just noticed were there. Without any consent from my brain my legs move me forward until I'm sitting down in the chair adjacent from her. "What's wrong Tori? You haven't said a word since you got here." She inquires, her face wrinkling in concern. _

"_Grandma h-how're you here?" I ask, my mind reeling to try and compensate for the lack of logic that I seem to be drowning in. She smiles at me, her posture relaxing slightly. _

"_That's your question? I haven't seen you in quiet awhile, and you ask how I'm here? Why Tori, I got in my car, and drove myself over here of course." She replies, her warm laughter filling the room as she reaches forward and then brings her cup of coffee up to her lips. I watch as she drinks a few mouthfuls before setting it back on the olive colored coaster, still not sure what's going on. _

"_No Gran, that's not what I mean. I mean, y-you're… Gone Grandma… You can't be here." I say, the words scratching against my throat as I speak them, making it feel as if my throat is bleeding on the inside, the blood filling my lungs and making it hard to breathe once again. Her face scrunches up in confusion at my words._

"_What on earth do you mean? I'm right here Honey?" She asks, a confused smile on her face. I shake my head forcefully, already feeling the familiar stinging of tears threatening to spill over my eyes. _

"_No Grandma! Y-You're dead! You died! I was there, so how're you here?" I all but yell at her, feeling slightly guilty as she flinches at the volume of my voice. She sits there with a blank expression for a moment before a small smile forms on her face. _

"_Oh yeah, that. Well, as limiting as that should be, it's nothing your grandma can't handle." She answers, waving her hand dismissively while winking at me, that smile turning into a grin of triumph. I can't help the smile that forces its way onto my face at my grandma's familiar attitude. She never acted her age, and if you personally knew her, you'd swear she was invincible by the way she was. 'That's why it was such a shock when she- when she died.' My smile falters at this thought. My grandmother sighs at me. "Drink your coffee Honey, it'll make you feel better." I don't think it will, but I listen to her regardless, reaching forward to bring the cup up to my mouth before gently sipping the warm liquid. It spreads warmth down my throat- seemingly healing the realistic wounds- and threading the warmth throughout my entire body. I smile into the cup as I hear my grandmother chuckle at me. "Told you so." She comments, making me set the cup down so that I can laugh along with her. A few moments later, and we're just sitting there, smiling at each other, basking in the comfortable warmth that seems to have filled the room suddenly. She takes a deep breath before her face takes on a more serious expression. "How is everything?" She asks, almost sounding like she doesn't want to know the answer. 'I don't blame her.' I cast my eyes down to my lap before answering her._

"_We all miss you a lot… Mom's been having an affair… And it all just seems like the biggest mess Grandma… I wish you were there to fix it because you'd know just what to say and do to make it all better." I confess, feeling ashamed for admitting how lost I was, but at the same time, feeling comfortable enough with her to do so. Her face looks completely shocked._

"_My Holly has been seeing another man behind David's back?" She asks, sounding completely stunned. I nod my head at her, surprisingly not feeling mad at the admission, but instead I just feel so hurt that tears are pushing behind my eyes again. "I never thought that she would've been capable of doing something like that." She admits, sounding disappointed in her daughter- in my mother, and I can't really blame her._

"_No one did Gran." I reassure her, trying to comfort her like I have been doing with everyone else. She looks at me quizzically when I say this, as if I've said the strangest thing ever. _

"_How're you handling this dear?" She asks, not sounding like a disappointed mother now, but instead like a concerned grandmother. My heart gives a heavy thump and I just want to wrap her in my arms and sob into her shoulder while she pats my back and whispers reassurances into my ear, but I restrain myself and instead focus on not crying. _

"_As well as I can be I'd assume." I answer, shrugging my shoulders at my words. She raises an eyebrow at me, but leaves her question unvoiced. _

"_Honey, you're not invincible… You can't do all of this alone." She states, her voice barley above a whisper, but the words sounding as if they're echoing against the walls in this silent room. I want to tell her that she's wrong, that I am strong enough to do this, that I **have** to be strong enough to do this alone, but I know that what she said is completely true, so I just nod my head at her in defeat, not trusting my voice at this point. "What about that Jadelyn girl that you seemed to adore so much?" She asks, her tone sounding lighter at the mention of someone she thinks could help me. 'Maybe, she could help me…'_

"_She's been helping, but it wouldn't be fair for me to ask her to help me bear this weight Grandma." I answer, quickly dismissing the idea of dragging Jade down with me. 'She deserves better than that.' _

"_She seems willing enough to help Tori, and it wouldn't be fair to yourself to try and do this alone." She replies immediately as if she'd been anticipating my answer. I think back on my last few interactions with Jade, and I'm almost embarrassed by how much of them were her helping me. 'She's already helped me enough, but then again, she's had plenty of opportunities to leave, to let me drown in this, but she hasn't… She **wants** to help me.' I've known this, but this is the first time I've actually acknowledged it, so I'm left speechless, not knowing what I should do. "Let her help you Honey, please." My grandma pleads from across the table, her eyes looking so sad at my reluctance to accept any offer of assistance. After a few moments I nod my head at her jerkily, not fully convinced on the idea, but still wanting her to think that I'll do it regardless. She smiles sadly at me. "It'll get better Tori, I promise." She reassures, her voice sounding so sure I almost believe her. _

"_Don't make promises you can't keep Grandma." I whisper, regretting every time I've ever made a promise, or let a promise be made to me. Her smile falters at me words, but she recovers it and simply nods her head at me, dropping the subject. We sit in an uncomfortable silence, the emptiness of this room closing in on me, the white walls beginning to hurt my eyes. "Grandma, can I please have a hug?" I ask, my voice sounding so weak and lost that I want to hit myself, but I simply ignore the urge. Her small grin blooms into a full fledged smile as she stands and opens her arms for me._

"_Well of course Honey! Get over here." She answers happily, gesturing towards me then herself with her outstretched hands. I smile at her reply, relief flooding my chest at her answer and I look down at the table as I place my hands on the surface to help me up, as I stand up I look back up at my grandma. I stop mid motion, halfway between standing and sitting as I look at the empty space where my grandma used to be, but now she's gone. I stand up fully and glance around quickly, trying to find her, but seeing nothing but empty whiteness. I look down back towards the table, but it's gone now too, leaving me standing in a solid white area, with no end in sight. A sound forces its way out of my throat, reopening the wounds that my coffee had healed earlier, wider than they were before the blood practically pours into my lungs, making them useless for breathing. The white seems to be crushing me, and I fall to me knees, clawing at my torso, trying to hold myself together because the heavy thudding of my heart is threatening to rip me apart. Tears pour over my face, dripping down from my chin, beginning to form a puddle where I'm hunched over as I continue to sob. I try to take deep breaths, try to gain control over my crying, but it seems like an impossible task. I yell out into the empty space, the sound bouncing off of walls that I can't see, beating against my eardrums, the loss in the echo making me feel even lonelier. _

"_Grandma… G-Grandma I miss you s-so much… Please come back." I whisper out, my sobs causing my words to be broken. "Grandma…" I whisper again, as if it'd make a difference. _

"_You calling me old Vega?" Sounds above me just as I feel a warm hand rest on my upper back between my shoulders. I whip my tear streaked face up to see Jade crouched beside me, smiling sadly at me. I want to laugh, I want to cry even more, I want to hug her, I want to shove her away, I want her to be here, I want her to be gone so that my grandma might come back… I don't know what I want. _

"_Make it go away…" I whisper at her, shaking slightly under the strain of not crying. Her small smile falls completely from her face at my words. _

"_You have to let me, I can't help you Vega, if you won't let me y'know?" She asks, her pierced eyebrow raising at me as she finishes her sentence. I take in a shuddering breath before answering, raising up so that I'm resting on my shins. _

"_I'm not- I'm not strong enough Jade." I say, the words tasting awful, but a feeling of relief accompanying them. She smiles gently at me again while rolling her eyes._

"_Naw shit Vega, why do you think I'm trying to help you?" She replies, her voice sounding joking, but I can hear the strained undercurrent of her words. Without another thought I all but fall into her, wrapping my arms around her neck and squeezing, I'm almost scared to let go because there's a possibility that she'll disappear too. But my fears fade gradually as I feel her arms wrap around my waist, holding me just as tightly as I am her. Her warmth and the scent of coffee and jasmine override my senses and threaten to suffocate me, but almost in a good way. The familiar scent comforts me, but now I feel safe enough to cry, and I can't help it as the sobs start tearing through my defenses again. I'm loosening my grip so that I can push her away, but she only tightens her hold. "Let me help Tori…" She quietly pleads, her hands rubbing comforting patterns on my back, and I just can't find it in me to fight her off anymore, so I just let myself cry onto Jade's shoulder until my throat is raw and my eyes sting. After what feels like hours I'm just barely able to get my answer out before my crying starts up again. _

"_Okay." I whisper out, somehow knowing that she heard me despite my ragged breathing. 'I'll let her help because I'm not strong enough to do this alone.' _

* * *

Something is shaking my shoulder, the motion causing the fogginess of sleep to quickly recede. I try to take a breath to tell the motion to stop, but I can't catch a breath. I open my eyes to see what's wrong, but everything is blurry. _Am I dying? _Then a breath floods into my lungs, only to be released in a throat wrenching sob.

"Vega! Hey Vega wake up!" A voice commands me, accompanied by more shakes. I turn my head to the side, still trying to breathe as I blink away the tears clouding my vision. Jade's face swims into view, her eyebrows dug down over her nose in concern, her piercing catching the light and making it look like a sparkle momentarily. I squeeze my eyes shut to try and banish the tears that seem to be pouring down my face, but I can't stop them, so I settle on trying to sit up. I reopen my eyes and see Jade sitting there on her knees, her hair messed up due to sleeping, her face set to a neutral expression, but her green eyes speak volumes about what she's feeling. The main emotion I see being worry, and then I'm wrapping my arms around her shoulders, squeezing tightly as my crying continues. She stiffens slightly at the touch, but then she's embracing me, her arms wrapping around my waist, one hand raising to smooth down my hair while the other rubs a small circle on my back while she quietly shushes me. "Hey, hey, shh, it's okay Vega… It was just a dream okay?" She whispers into my hair, still comforting me. I take a deep breath so that I can answer her.

"Y-Yeah I know… Jade?" I ask, mentally preparing myself to show this girl- my best friend- how much I need her help right now, already knowing that showing her how weak I am is probably a bad idea. She hums slightly, acknowledging my question, but keeping her voice low and quiet as possible. "W-Will you please h- help me?" I ask, the words tasting horrible on my tongue, making me want to sneer at myself for being so weak. Her hands still momentarily, and I'm afraid that she'll disappear like my grandmother in my dream.

"You'll let me?" She asks after a few moments, her voice sounding slightly disbelieving. I try to answer, but another sob rips out of my throat so I simply nod my head against her shoulder. "Then yeah Vega, I'll help, I've been trying to, but you've been **slightly** uncooperative y'know?" She says, her voice still barely above a whisper, speaking to me as if I'm fragile, as if the mere volume of her voice could break me. I laugh bitterly at her question.

"Yeah I h-have been haven't I?" I ask, taking another deep breath to try and stop the flow of tears. I manage to gain some control over them, their flowing slowing down considerably now. She chuckles slightly at my answer. We sit there for a few moments, the only sound being me trying to completely stop crying. After my crying has subsided to a few sniffles here and there, Jade speaks up.

"Well, why don't we do something? You can lend me some clothes because I need a shower, and this shirt is obviously ruined-" she states, gesturing towards the spots left behind by my tears, and I bite my lower lip and look away, feeling slightly guilty despite the fact that she's joking. "then you can get a shower, because your hair looks like a rats' nest, and then we can go out and do things." She finishes, her signature smirk on her face while a blush stains my cheeks at her comment about my hair. I smile at her, nodding my head in agreement with her idea. "Then get the hell up, we can't get anything done with you sitting around Vega!" she says, making me smile wider at her behavior. _Maybe today will be an okay day…_

* * *

I watch absentmindedly as steam curls up from the tan liquid that's sitting in the cup between my hands.

"I can't believe you like cow juice in your coffee Vega." Jade comments, nodding her head towards said drink before bringing her own cup to her lips, sipping gently at the hot liquid. I roll my eyes at her.

"There's nothing wrong with creamer Jade, and why do you not like milk?" I ask, laughing slightly at her obvious distain for the dairy product. She wrinkles her nose in disgust.

"It comes out of pink dangly things on a cow Vega! How can that even **sound** good, let alone **be** good?" She asks, having set down her coffee to wave her hands around for emphasis, while I just shake my head at her, smiling slightly.

"Well, yeah, if you think about it like that, then it doesn't sound really good, but-" I start to argue, but she cuts me off, holding up a finger at me.

"But nothing, that's exactly what it is. Point in case, I win. Again." She adds the last word, winking at me as picks up her cup to drink more of her beverage. I chuckle at her, rolling my eyes as I do so.

"Okay, whatever." I dismiss, seeing no point in trying to convince her that milk isn't an abomination. We sit quietly in the café, letting the sounds of people's quiet conversations, people's coffees being made, and keyboards being typed on fill the silence for us. "So what do you want to do after this?" I ask, feeling better than I have in a really long time. She smiles at me, setting her cup down on the table.

"Well, I was going to let you pick actually." She answers, shrugging her shoulders at me. I don't have any idea, so I bring my own cup up to my mouth to give myself time to think. The slightly too hot liquid threatens to burn my tongue, but seeing as I don't have an answer, I continue drinking until it gets too hot, so that I **have** to put the drink down. _What's something fun to do during Christmas Break? _I feel my eyes widen slightly as I think this. Jade's cool expression flickers to worry quickly as she takes in my look.

"What's wrong?" She asks, leaning forward slightly, concern coloring her tone.

"It's Christmas Break, and I haven't done my Christmas shopping!" I inform her, not knowing what I'm going to do for everyone's presents. _Are we even having a Christmas this year though…?_ "Oh wait…" I don't know the answer to my own question, and my mind can't come up with a reasonable suggestion as to why we **would** celebrate it this year. I cast my eyes down towards the table.

"What is it Vega?" Jade asks, probably not understanding my sudden mood shift at the subject. I chew my lower lip momentarily before redirecting my attention towards her.

"I'm not sure if we're going to have a Christmas this year… With everything going on, I don't see how we could." I answer, sighing heavily at the idea of not having a family Christmas for the first time in my life. She seems shocked by this, staying quiet for a few moments before speaking again.

"Well, how does your family usually do Christmas?" She asks, brows furrowed in concentration. I bring my coffee up to my mouth, drinking it while thinking.

"Mom and Dad force me to go with Trina so that we can go pick up our grandparents, so they have enough time to set up the house since it's a long drive." I answer, remembering how I dreaded those trips, but now I find myself longing for the opportunity. Jade hums slightly at this information.

"Well, why don't you ask your dad to see if you guys are going to celebrate it, and then you and I will go to pick up your grandpa while your sister and your dad stay behind to fix the house? And, if it turns out that you guys aren't going to, you can come over to my house and we can have our own Christmas?" She suggests, smiling softly at me, showing me the caring side of her that hardly anyone ever gets to see. I'm honestly speechless at the moment, torn between crying and laughing, so I jump down from the bar seat and practically run around the table to wrap a very surprised Jade in a bear hug.

"Oh my God Jade! You're the best!" I exclaim, squeezing her even tighter. I hear her splutter out a laugh, probably struggling to breathe, but I can't loosen my grip on her, not eve a little bit. Especially since she's hugging me back now, laughing with me.

"Yeah I know, now let go of me Vega, you're making a scene." She says, and I let go of her as if she's burned me, looking around sheepishly at the multiple people that are now watching us.

"Oops." I say quietly, blushing at the attention everyone is giving us.

"Oops." Jade repeats, using the voice that she swears I sound like. I sigh exasperatedly.

"I don't talk like that!" I retort without thinking, narrowing my eyes at her slightly. She just laughs and shakes her head at me.

"Come on Vega." She states, grabbing her cup and getting out of her chair, grabbing two lids for our cups.

"Where are we going?" I ask, thanking her as she hands me my lid.

"Well since you didn't come up with any ideas, we're going to do what I want to." She replies vaguely, slightly worrying me. _What does Jade West do for fun? _Scary images of blood and haunting laughing quickly plague my thoughts so I quit thinking about it and just decide to not question her.

* * *

"Ugh! Jade, I'm cold!" I whine for the fifth time, watching my breath curl into steam in front of my mouth as I rub my hands together, trying to gain feeling in them again. _Walking in the park when it's freezing.. Yeah… Super fun!_ I think angrily, shivering with my teeth chattering slightly.

"Bitch, bitch, bitch…" Jade whispers out in reply. Her usually white skin is a slight shade of pink, so I know that she's cold too, yet we're still walking. To say that I don't understand would probably be an understatement. I grunt in annoyance at her dismissive attitude. _So what if I catch __**Hypothermia**__?_. I huff out a breath, focusing on the cloud it makes to distract myself from the cold. "Vega," Jade sighs out, my name forming a visible puff of steam, "don't think, just walk, and look at the scenery okay?" She says, each word said slow and enunciated as if I was a small child. I cross my arms at her, but nod regardless, determined to prove to her that I could make it through the cold weather. She nods her head back at me, a small smile forming on her lips just as her face is back to looking away from me. I smile at this, and redirect my attention to the surrounding scenery. _What am I supposed to be seeing? Ooh, look, trees, wow, that's pretty intense. I should take a picture._ I think sarcastically, me missing the apparently obvious reason we're here beginning to annoy me.

Then I refocus on the same tree, and there's almost something different about it. I notice how it's just standing there, no leaves on it's branches, and in the bright pale light of the day, it looks almost gray too. Then I look at the grass, and notice how it's a pale green, a very drastic contrast from it's normal deep green during the spring and summer. Now I notice the other people that are walking through the park too, their breath curling out into the air, their noses red just as I'm sure mine is, and they're smiling. Talking with whoever they're walking with, the pale air making their clothes seem more vibrant against the calm setting we're in. We continue walking for a few minutes, me noticing the new found beauty of things the whole way, before I look ahead and see what looks like a river curving around the park. As we near it, I examine it closer. It's a nasty dark brown, I wouldn't swim in it in this life time because it's that murky... and it's beautiful. The dark brown water, contrasting against the pale green grass that surrounds it makes it seem like so much more than it is. Makes it seem like a beautiful sight to be treasured instead of the dirty river it actually is.

"See it?" Jade asks, breaking the bubble of silence that had seemed to envelope me. I turn towards her to answer her, but my words get stuck in my throat. Her pale face, tinged pink by the cold, is framed by her black hair, making a beautiful contrast, her piercing green eyes seeming to be magnified, making my mind go blank. The bright red of my shirt peeking out beneath the black leather of her jacket, the dark blue, almost black jeans she's wearing that are tucked into her combat boots, seeming so much more defined against the winter backdrop, that I literally cannot speak.

"See what?" I force out, surprised that my voice still works. She smiles at me, before gesturing towards our surroundings.

"Everything. Do you see how winter makes everything that much more… Pretty?" She asks, looking around the whole time, but looking back at me as she says the last word. I smile and nod my head at her.

"Yeah I do actually." I answer, trying to keep my eyes from tracing the outline of her body. _This is so weird…_I nod my head at my thought before glancing up at the sky, just basking in the serene feel of this.

"Still cold?" She asks, bringing my attention back to her, to see that her signature smirk has replaced her gentle smile. I roll my eyes at her.

"Well now I am!" I answer, once again noticing how numb my body is due to the chilly air. She rolls her eyes and laughs at me, the sound ringing in my ears. _I wonder if winter makes things sound better too…_

"C'mon Vega, don't want you getting sick and then blaming me." Jade says as she turns around back towards the direction we came.

"Well, it **would** be your fault y'know." I comment, smiling at her even though she's not looking.

"Whatever, give me your hand." She commands, stopping and tuning to face me with her left hand outstretched. I raise an eyebrow at her odd request while extending my numb right hand towards her.

"Why?" I ask as she takes my hand in hers and laces our fingers together, while turning to begin walking once again, still holding my hand. I feel a blush rush across my face and I pray that if she notices it, that she'll think it's because of the weather.

"Mine is cold." She answers briefly not turning around to face me, so I just glance down at our intertwined fingers. I'm not sure if it's the fact that the action is thawing out my hand, or if it's the fact that it's winter, but for some reason, our hands like this just **look** so right. I brush away the thought and glance around, enjoying the weightlessness I feel right now. _Maybe… Just maybe, today is going to be a great day._

* * *

A/N: Yeah, I had to put some fluff in this story guys, I was bumming myself out with all the angsty things that are happening, so then my hands just typed out winter Jori fluff! :D (I regret nothing) Jade, you're so sweet! D: I want to thank everyone who's favorite'd, follow'd, and reviewed, it means a lot to me that you'll take the time out of your day to do such things, so thank you very much! :) Review and let me know what you think, and stay sexy! ~Natt


	16. Chapter 16

_Sometimes toys break; even your favorite ones. Same thing for people too. _

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious or any of the characters**_

Jade's POV

_One Week Later…_

_Ugh… Coffee maker, if you do not hurry, I will shove my scissors into you._ I narrow my eyes threateningly at Vega's coffee maker as it seems to be taking its sweet ass time making my desperately needed coffee. I sigh heavily and begin to drum my fingers absentmindedly along the counter top while I continue to wait. I glance around the empty house, noting how different it is with no one else awake and up yet. I woke up about ten minutes ago, and had lied in Vega's bed for a few moments, debating whether or not I should get up. She managed to sleep throughout the whole night again- although she usually can do this as long as I'm here with her- and I wasn't sure how she'd take waking up alone, but my caffeine addiction required that I got up, so here I am. I grab the coffee cup that's sitting off to my side and get ready to grab the coffee maker since it's now almost done. I wrap my hand around the black handle, and I'm tilting the coffee pot over my cup now, steam wafting out of the spout. Just as the black liquid is about to begin flowing into its new container, the phone begins to ring. _Damn… So close._ I sigh irritably as I put the coffee pot back down and practically stomp to where the phone is lying on the dining room table. I pick it up noting that the caller I.D. doesn't recognize the number, so shrugging my shoulders I hit the accept button.

"Hello?" I ask into the phone, trying to sound somewhat conversational since this isn't my house.

"Uh, who is this?" I hear a female voice ask, sounding almost upset. I debate telling them something that might be considered rude, but I restrain myself, this still not being my house.

"Jade, who is this?" I ask again, letting some of my impatience show in my voice.

"Jade? Jade West, Tori's friend?" The voice asks, relief coloring her tone now. I almost say that we're not friends out of old habit, but I catch myself, shaking my head and smiling to myself.

"Yes, now, last time I'm asking before I hang up, who is this?" I urge, getting rather tired of this conversation, and I begin walking towards the coffee pot again, deciding I can multitask.

"This is Holly." She replies, not saying anything after that. I wedge the phone between my ear and my right shoulder as I pour myself a cup, and then mix in two sugars. I take a sip and instantly feel more tolerance being added to my small supply. _Holly… Why does that name sound familiar? _

"Holly?" I ask, taking another sip from my mug.

"Holly Vega- or at least that's what you may recognize." She replies, sounding almost timid suddenly. _Vega? Holly shit it's her mom._ I feel a surge of anger bubble up inside of me at this realization, this woman on the phone being one of the sources of Tori's pain in more recent times.

"Oh… What do you want?" I ask, letting my disdain for her show clearly through my voice. I hear her take a deep breath that she releases, causing the receiver to rattle slightly.

"I need to talk to David." She answers simply. I think back, trying to remember if he came home last night.

"Either he's not here, or he's still asleep." I reply, not really caring if she needs to talk to him or not. I can only imagine what shit this day would have been if Tori had answered the phone, and suddenly I'm really glad that she's still asleep.

"Well, when he gets home, or when he wakes up, can you have him call me?" She asks, irritation evident in her voice. I grit my teeth at being given instructions by this woman, and restrain myself from telling her to fuck off.

"Sure." I answer curtly. I hear her take another deep breath. _Ugh, woman, you're killing my good mood here._

"H-How're the girls?" She asks, something akin to guilt coloring her voice. Tori told me that she hasn't actually said a word to her mother since their big argument. I had wanted to be impressed that Vega told her mother what she did, but given the circumstances, it didn't seem right to congratulate her for breaking down against her will. I feel a sudden urge to hang up on her, as if that would protect Tori from this hurtful woman.

"Fine." I reply, knowing that it's a lie, but I don't want her to know that she ruined Tori, and hell, even Trina.

"Jade, please, I just want to know how my children are doing. Is that too much to ask for?" She asks, sounding tired, almost as if she's had this conversation before.

"Yes it is, if you honestly cared about their well being then maybe you should have thought of that before you decided to jump ship." I answer, my patience for this woman officially gone.

"You don't know what you're saying, you weren't there, and you can't possibly hope to understand what turmoil my family was going through at the time, so watch what you say young lady." She reprimands. I gently set down my coffee, knowing that if I don't soon, I'll end up throwing it against something.

"Oh, as if you do? Are you sure you weren't too busy screwing Gary and feeling guilty to check up on your family?" I ask, my anger beginning to cloud my judgment. I know I don't need Vega's mother to like me, but a small part of me had actually wanted that acceptance. _Screw it._ I hear her breathe out, probably in shock at my words.

"Listen here Jade, you do not know what you're talking about, and I don't appreciate your tone of voice, or you feeling as if you have any right to talk to me in such a manner." She replies, anger very evident in her voice.

"I'm not the cheater, now am I?" I ask harshly, wanting my words to cut, and to cut deep. "Ah, no, here's a question, who's actually welcome at this house? Who's actually here, helping your daughter? Oh, that's right." I say, rage flowing through my veins at this point. I hear her sniffle trough the phone suddenly. _Is she crying? _

"Okay, c-can you just tell David to call me?" She asks before the other end of the line goes dead. I feel a twinge of guilt at making a grown woman cry, but I quickly bury it seeing as she was being a bitch anyways. I take a deep breath through my nose as I reach for my coffee, trying to calm down. I set down the phone and try to focus on the calming effect that coffee usually has on me. _It's too early for this shit._ I roll my eyes, and head towards the living room with coffee in hand, intent on forgetting what just happened by brainwashing myself with some crappy TV.

* * *

"Hi Jade." Dave greets as he walks through the door, grocery bags in hand. I look over at him, and nod my head in greeting, my mouth being full of apple juice at the moment. I swallow and get up to help him put away the groceries.

"Hey Dave." I finally reply, drawing a small smile from him. When we had first conversed over a few cups of coffee one morning, he had asked me to call him David instead of Mr. Vega, and I had told him that I didn't like the name David because it sounded too business man like, and thus came the name Dave.

"Where are the girls?" He asks while putting up groceries too.

"Still asleep." I reply, handing him a loaf of bread since he's closer to where it goes.

"Ah." He replies, knowing as well as me that them sleeping is an extremely good thing.

"How long have you been up?" He asks, handing me a jug of apple juice. I can't help the small smile that creeps onto my face. After that day that Vega and I had gone out to the park so that I could show her that not everything in the world was ugly and untrue, I had come home with her and spent the next few days over here constantly. Dave had then taken it upon himself to keep the house well stocked on coffee and apple juice, and the fact that it was just for me made me feel slightly uncomfortable. I appreciated it greatly, but it was such a nice gesture that I wasn't exactly used to it. It just seemed like such a… Such a **fatherly** thing to do. I glance back at the clock, noting that it's currently ten o' clock. I quickly calculate the numbers in my head.

"Oh, about, three hours." I answer, walking towards the fridge to put multiple cold items up. I wasn't usually a helpful person, but the same part of me that had wanted acceptance from Tori's mother, also wanted it from Dave, so I tried to be somewhat nice to him. _Oh, speaking of which._ "Oh, by the way, Holly called earlier." I inform him, looking back at him to see his reaction. He misses a beat as he continues to unbag groceries, and I can see his frame stiffen.

"What'd she have to say?" He asks, his voice guarded. I worry my bottom lip, contemplating on what to exactly say. Figuring that if he called her back, she'd tell him exactly what I said, but maybe make it sound worse- if that's actually possible- I decide to give him a play-by-play of our conversation.

* * *

"S-She did what?" Dave asks, snickering slightly, but trying to hide it. I wasn't exactly expecting this reaction from him, but I guess it makes since. She broke his heart and someone cut her down to size, so yeah, I guess I can see the justification in this. _I wonder if someone had done something to Beck, if I'd have laughed like he deserved it._ I feel a pang of something akin to pain in my heart, and instantly know that no, I wouldn't have enjoyed him being in any form of pain.

"She started crying and then told me to tell you to call her, then she hung up." I repeat, nodding my head slightly at him.

"Oh wow, what I would've paid…" He says, his gaze going to the ceiling momentarily. He gets up and retrieves the phone, he hits a few buttons on the phone before his face morphs into an expression of disgust.

"What is it?" I ask, wondering what he could've come across on the phone to cause his shift in attitude.

"The number, the reason the caller I.D. didn't have it is because I deleted it from the list." He answers, still not fully cluing me in. I raise a studded eyebrow at him, letting him know that I don't fully understand. He smiles an almost cruel smile. "It's Gary's house number." He answers, an undercurrent of hurt coloring his tone. _Oh…_ _Ow._ I imagine it, if Beck had been cheating on me, and then called me from her house number, in the morning, leaving me to wonder what had happened for him to be there that early, and there only being one reasonable explanation. I sigh and run my hand through my hair, the pain Dave's going through ringing out hollowly through my chest.

"Bitch." I say, not really meaning to say it aloud, but the head nod I get from him in reply lets me know that it was actually an acceptable response.

"Yeah, but hey," He says, causing me to give him my attention again, "thanks for protecting them like that- even Trina- although I know you were mainly aiming for Tori." He finishes, giving me a small smile of thanks. I return his small smile while nodding my head at him.

"Yeah, no problem." I answer, already feeling this conversation drawing to a close. My point is proven as he turns and heads towards the garage door with the phone in hand. I continue to sit in the kitchen, just thinking. _I wonder if Beck and I had gotten married if he would've still fallen out of love with me, and he would've gone and slept with another woman. _I shudder at the though, and suddenly it makes a little bit of sense. _I bet Dave and I get along so well because we're in the same boat somewhat. We've both had our hearts broken by the person we loved more than anyone, by the person we had given ourselves to wholly, more than willing for forever. But they didn't feel the same, and now we're both left confused, and alone to pick up the pieces. _I sigh heavily, resting my forehead on the table. _It's been like, four and a half months since we broke up, almost five months. Five months is just a month away from six… Shouldn't I be over this by now? I wonder if Dave still loves her… Then again, in all honesty, I think his case is somewhat easier. He can hate her for what she did, she cheated. Beck just, let go. He hasn't even had a girlfriend since we broke up, so I can't hate him for that either. I just can't hate him because I still love him. _I begin sitting up just as I feel a pair of thin arms wrap around my shoulders, and then there's warm breath against my neck that causes me to shiver slightly.

"Hey, how long have you been up?" Tori asks, her normal bubbly voice causing a smile to spread across my face. I raise my hands to cover hers, all thoughts of Beck disappearing just as if they'd never been there. She begins rocking us side to side slightly.

"Uh, three and a half hours, give or take a few seconds." I answer, as I glance at the clock on the coffee maker since I can't look at the stove behind me. She just hums in response, still holding me in her embrace, so I relax my head back onto her shoulder as she continues rocking us.

"Why didn't you wake me up?" She asks, breaking the silence we had settled into for a few moments. I turn my head to try and see her face, but all I can see is her neck and her cheek due to our position, and I have the oddest urge to kiss her neck, or her cheek, or to just… kiss her. I feel my eyebrows dig down over the bridge of my nose at this odd realization. I quickly distract myself by focusing on her question.

"You needed the sleep Vega." I reply, keeping my confusion out of my voice because I know for a fact that'd she pick up on it. She simply hums again. "Do you want anything?" I ask, beginning to raise from my sitting position because based off of my earlier thoughts, I might need to put some distance between the two of us. _Oh come on, it was probably just because you were thinking about him and then she came in acting all… like that. _I nod my head, that making sense, or at least, enough sense for me to dismiss my earlier thoughts. As I step away from her, I instantly miss her warmth, but I decide against hugging her or something that involves physical touch. I see her biting her lower lip in thought, her eyes looking towards the ceiling.

"Do we have any orange juice?" She asks, scrunching her face as she tries to remember. I nod at her.

"Yeah, Dave went grocery shopping this morning." I inform her as I retrieve a glass to hold her juice.

"Yes! Go Dad!" She replies, throwing her arms up in a victory dance thing. I shake my head at her childlike behavior. _Only her…_

"Anything interesting happen this morning?" She asks as she sits down in the seat I had previously occupied. As I pour her juice into the glass, I quickly decide it best to not tell her her mother called this morning.

"Naw, just helped put groceries up." I reply, handing her, her now full glass as I take the seat next to her. She thanks me and just raises an eyebrow at me. "What?" I ask, raising my pierced eyebrow at her as well.

"Jade West, helping my dad put up groceries? What's next?" She asks, sounding completely in awe. I roll my eyes at her.

"Well, someone needed to help him, we can't all just laze about in bed all day y'know?" I respond, getting up to get myself another cup of coffee. I hear her laugh at my comment.

"Says the girl still in her pajamas?" She asks, voice full of humor.

"Yes." I reply, shaking my pajama clad butt as I do so. I can practically see her roll her eyes at me as she laughs in response. I hear her chair slide against the floor, and set down my cup to turn around, but evidently I wasn't fast enough because I feel her fingers begin to tickle my rib cage. _No!_ I can't help the laughter that forces its way out of my throat before I'm turning around and pushing her away. "No! Tori damn it!" I yell, laughter still forcing itself from my lungs.

"Aww, is someone ticklish?" She asks, feigning innocence as she continues her torture.

"I'm going t-to kill you!" I reply, laughter interrupting me still.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you over your laughter, what'd you say?" she asks, still smiling at me.

"That's it!" I yell as I capture her hands in mine, I grab both of her wrists in one of my hands and begin to tickle her with my free hand.

"No Jade! No! I'm sorry!" She begs as she laughs loudly, my fingers not relenting in tickling her. I smile evilly at her.

"You started it Vega, and I don't lose." I reply, as she falls to her knees while still laughing.

"J-Jade I can't breathe!" She says, laughter still ringing out throughout the otherwise quiet room.

"What? I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you over your laughter, could you repeat that?" I ask in my southern belle impersonation of her.

"I do not talk like that!" She answers automatically. I roll my eyes at her and release her wrists.

"Sure you don't Vega, sure you don't." I say, turning away from her to go back to making my coffee. I hear her trying to catch her breath as she stands up.

"You butt." She says, finally breathing at a somewhat normal pace again. I almost choke on my coffee when she says this. I place the cup back down on the counter before turning back to her.

"What?" I ask her, disbelief evident in my tone.

"You are a butt." She replies, crossing her arms and looking down at the floor.

"You started it." I remind her, laughing at how odd she is. She merely grunts in reply, knowing that she has no ground to stand on. I roll my eyes at her. I turn to walk to the living room, ready to lay down on the couch and watch some TV. I feel arms wrap around my waist as Vega lifts me from the ground and then lays me down on the ground. "What the hell are you doing?" I ask her as she straddles me and pins my hands above my head with one of her hands.

"Well, if I 'started it', then I think that gives me official rights to 'end it'." She answers, making air quotes with her free hand. I roll my eyes at her.

"You're so weird." I tell her, unable to keep the smile off of my face though. She smiles back at me.

"I know right?" She asks, laughing at herself.

"Am I interrupting something?" Dave asks suddenly. I crane my head back against the floor to look back and I see him standing there, looking really tall since I'm lying flat on the ground. Suddenly I feel my cheeks begin to burn as I realize what he was implying. I bite my lower lip to keep my mouth from saying anything stupid.

"Dad!" Tori practically yells at him, apparently getting his implication too. He just laughs and shakes his head at us. _Wait, does that mean he'd be okay with… With what? With me and Vega being… More than friends? _I shake my head to clear the odd thoughts. Tori just stares up at him with an incredulous look on her face, and I can actually see the red tinge to her cheeks if I look close enough.

"Have fun, but not too much fun while I'm gone okay?" He replies, walking around us and towards the door. I lean more to the side so that I can look around Tori as she looks behind her.

"Where are you going?" She asks, finally releasing my hands and resting both of hers on her thighs. I see something flash across his face before it's gone, and he shrugs his shoulders.

"The store." He replies, winking at me as he says this. At first I don't understand what he's getting at, but then I realize that he must be going to go Christmas gift shopping. I feel a smile slowly form on my face.

"Have fun Dave!" I call after him as he leaves out the door before the youngest Vega can ask him anymore questions.

"Okay, what was that?" She asks, turning to look back down at me. I shrug my shoulders and grin up at her.

"What was what?" I ask, feigning ignorance. She quirks an eyebrow at me.

"That whole, hidden conversation that I missed." She replies, curiosity coloring her voice. Last week, unbeknownst to Vega, I talked to Dave about Christmas and he didn't want to have it here, but he didn't want Trina and Tori to not have one. So we came to the conclusion that Christmas this year will be held at my house, and I guess he's going to go Christmas shopping now.

"Why, what ever do you mean?" I ask in her mock voice. I can practically hear her gritting her teeth.

"I do not talk like that Jade!" She yells, irritation evident in her voice. I hum in response.

"So what're we doing today?" I ask her, wanting to change the subject. She looks up, then around the room.

"Is there anything you need to do today?" She asks, apparently forgetting about the earlier topic. _West, you are too good. _Other than Christmas shopping and helping Dave decorate my house, my slate is clear of anything that absolutely needs to be done. I shake my head.

"Naw, not really." I answer, not wanting to even bring up Christmas because she might connect the dots as to what her father is doing. She nods her head while worrying her bottom lip in thought.

"Wanna just hang out here then?" She asks, making it sound as if this thought has just occurred to her.

"Now why would I want to spend an entire day with you?" I ask, raising an eyebrow at her. She makes a big show of thinking of a response.

"Because you like me?" She offers up, smiling at me. I roll my eyes.

"I never said such a thing." I answer, even though we both know that we're each other's best friend. She laughs and rolls her eyes too.

"Do you always have to be so difficult?" She asks, shaking her head slightly at me.

"Would you honestly have it any other way?" I ask, smiling while winking at her. She just rolls her eyes again.

"No." She answers, heaving an exasperated sigh. I'm about to reply, but I'm cut off by a familiar opening credits theme. I look over towards the TV so fast, I'm lucky I didn't get whiplash.

"Yes!" I yell, throwing my hands up into the air. Tori looks back at the TV behind her and groans.

"Jade, no, please!" She begs, placing her hands on my shoulders. I simply smirk up at her.

"Sorry Vega, I've been waiting for this, now get off of me." I say, only after I say it do I actually realize she's still straddling me. She kinda looks taken back a bit by this too, as if she'd forgotten it too.

"Fine, but I don't want to watch the Scissoring Jade." She replies while getting up. She holds her hand out to me, offering me assistance which I gladly take.

"Too bad, it's on, and I dare you to try and change the channel." I threaten, my voice taking on a very dangerous quality. She just huffs, and flops down on the couch. I smile in triumph. I sit down next to Vega just as the opening scene comes on.

"You're a butt." Tori says, refusing to look at me and instead keeps her gaze on the screen. I laugh at her.

"Ah, c'mon Vega, it's not that bad." I say just as a commercial comes on. _Damn you commercials. _

"Sure." She says as she gets up. "I'm getting more orange juice, do you want this cup of coffee?" She asks, gesturing to my forgotten cup. _DAMN! God, I hate wasting coffee, but it's cold by now… Son of a-_ I breath heavily, and shake my head gravely.

"No thanks." I say, sadness coloring my voice.

"How about some apple juice?" She asks, sounding slightly amused. I look over at her and smile slightly at her.

"That could work." I reply, honestly happy that Dave had gone shopping now. She laughs at this while going to get us our drinks. A few moments later my movie comes back on. "Hey, hurry, you're missing it!" I inform her, as if she can't see the TV from the kitchen.

"Oh no." She says, her voice dripping sarcasm just as she hands me my beverage before sitting down. I look at her, eyebrow raised.

"Watch it Vega." I warn her, looking back at the screen. I hear her huff a breath of indifference, but she doesn't say another word, instead focusing on the work of art that is the Scissoring. _The Scissoring, apple juice, and Vega… I have high hopes for today._ I smirk at my thoughts, but soon enough the only thing I can think of is how I'm not me anymore, no, instead I'm in the movie. I only remember that I'm Jade West when I feel Tori curl into my side, not hiding her face, but still seeking physical comfort from the scary parts. I think about making fun of her for it, but I can't bring myself to do it, and so I just let her sit there and even wrap my arm around her shoulders. As I'm sitting here completely content; I can't help but think that this is probably a perfect moment in time, and now, just like always, I never want this movie to end.

* * *

A/N: I'm sorry this took so long, but I've been super busy lately :/ Plus, another story idea has formed in my head, so it's serving as a writer's block of sorts, but I finally sat myself down and wrote this. I know that not a lot happens, but I want to set up some plot points, and so I want to apologize if this feels like a filler chapter. Aso, I want to apologize if Jade seemed too OOC, but there's a reason for that too. Next week's update might be on the 13th, I haven't decided if I want to update on my day of birth or not, so be expecting that if it happens. Well, thanks to everyone who's reviewed, favorite'd, and/or followed, it makes me feel accomplished that you'd take the time out of your day to do, so thank you! :) So, stay sexy, and until next time ~Natt


	17. Chapter 17

_Sometimes toys break; even your favorite ones. Same thing for people too._

**Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own Victorious**

Tori's POV

**Hey, everyone's going to be at Nozu in 30 minutes, you gonna come?**

I stare at the message Andre just sent me, debating whether or not I want to get up from my current position wrapped in Jade's arms, or not. We spent all day watching movies, and somewhere along the line, we ended up laying down on the couch- her behind me with her arms around my waist. Then, shortly after watching the Scissoring again- I guess that channel had one of those days where they'll have a few movies on loop- Jade had fallen asleep. How she fell asleep so shortly after watching that grotesque thing, I'll never know, but she had nonetheless. _We haven't hung out in a while; it'll probably be a lot of fun. Time to get up you lazy butt. _I roll my eyes at myself before rolling over within Jade's embrace so that I'm now facing her. I reach up and brush a strand of her dark-but getting lighter as it grows out- hair out of her face, wanting to just bask in the peace that is Jade West sleeping.

"Hey, hey Jade, c'mon, wake up." I say quietly as I begin to gently shake her shoulder, wanting to wake her up in the best way possible. She grunts in her sleep as she tries to turn away from her. I laugh lightly at how cute the action is. "Wake-y wake-y, eggs and bac-y!" I say, quoting what my mother used to say to me. She blinks her eyes open, and I'm mesmerized by those piercing green orbs immediately. She smiles down at me- her face being about an inch above mine.

"Hey." She says, her voice thick with sleep, but still sounding like it belongs on a platinum record. I smile back at her.

"Hey yourself." I reply, still staring into her eyes. She rolls her eyes at me as her smile grows a little bit. Then I remember why I woke her up in the first place. "Time to get up, we got invited out to Nozu with the gang." I say, still smiling at her. She begins worrying her bottom lip.

"But why would I want to get up?" She asks, tightening her grip on me. I just roll my eyes at her.

"Because we've spent all day on the couch, and we have other friends that we've been neglecting." I answer, bringing my hand up to tap her nose with my index finger as I do so. She groans in reply.

"But I'm comfy, Nozu is crowded, noisy, and sometimes there are guys there that irritate me." She replies, referencing our date that Sikowitz had forced us to go on.

"But there won't be any of those problems tonight!" I plead, wanting to convince her to go.

"I just don't see any benefit in going to Nozu versus staying right here, in this very spot." She argues, shrugging her shoulders as she says this.

"Jade! Please!" I whine, pouting at her, knowing that she hates it when I do that.

"Damn it Vega, no, I don't want to go. It's going to be boring." She replies sternly, all but refusing to look at my face now that I'm wearing the "infamous Pout" as she put it once.

"But I really wanna go!" I plead again, hoping she'll change her mind.

"What's stopping you?" She asks, looking back to my face with her signature smirk donning her face, pierced eyebrow arched at me. I jut out my lower lip further. _Two can play this game!_ Her eyes flicker down to my lips, lingering momentarily before she refocuses on my eyes. That's when something changes in the air, causing it to feel almost electrified, and suddenly I'm super aware of everywhere our bodies are touching, how loud my heat beat is, and how close Jade's lips are. In fact, they're really close. _Close enough, that if I just leaned forward, a little bit, I could-_ "Uh, Nozu, yeah, uh, when do we need to be there?" Jade asks, voice sounding a little hoarse as she licks her lips and looks all around the room. I feel an intense heat rush towards my face and it takes all of my acting skills to not freak out right then at what I almost did.

"Uh, yeah, um, about twenty minutes." I answer as best I can, my mind being anywhere except the gathering at Nozu at the moment. I begin to detangle myself from her as I rise from the couch. We both head up towards my room to get ready as I fire off a text to Andre, letting him know that both Jade and I were going to be there, and that we might be a little late.

_I almost kissed my best friend… What the-?_ I quickly brush off the thought by busying myself with the difficult decision of what to wear.

* * *

I spy Andre, Cat, Robbie, and a blonde girl that I've never seen before sitting together at a table at the back of the restaurant. As I make my way over to the table, Cat turns around in her seat and spots me and jumps up from her chair while squealing.

"Oh my gosh Tori! I haven't seen you in like, forever!" She screams, drawing attention from most of the other dinners, while crushing me in her embrace. I automatically tense up at being touched, and Cat immediately picks up on it, causing her to draw back enough to look up at me with a hurt expression donning her face. "Why aren't you hugging me back? Did I do something wrong? Are you mad at me?" Cat questions, voice going a hundred miles per hour. I bite my lip, knowing that of course she wouldn't know that I was no longer a big hugging fan.

"No, no Cat, you just caught me off guard is all, I'm sorry." I reply, wrapping my arms around her, albeit a little reluctantly. She just smiles really big at me and crushes me again, and even I can't help the smile that spreads across my face at my friend's behavior. She lets go of me, and we walk towards the table together now.

"Hey Muchacha, long time no see." Andre greets, smiling at me as I take the seat across from him.

"Hey Andre, hey Robbie." I greet, smiling at them, genuinely glad to see my friends after what feels like such a long time.

"Hey Tori!" Robbie says, enthusiasm dripping from his voice.

"Hey where's Rex?" I ask, wondering where the boy's puppet was.

"Oh, um, he has a really bad hangover from going to a Northridge party last night and begged that I let him stay home." Robbie replies, sounding sympathetic of his friend. I hum in response as I nod my head, not knowing what to say. I can tell that no one knows what to say due to the slightly awkward silence that has settled down on us.

"Anyways…" Andre says, voice sounding a little wary, "Where's Jade?" He asks while gesturing to the empty seat to my left.

"She said that she wanted to go get something from her house, so she'll be joining us later." I reply, still wondering what it is that she wanted to get. Andre merely nods at me. It's at this moment that I remember the blonde girl who I had seen earlier. "Oh wait! Who's this?" I ask, nodding my head at the mystery girl who's sitting next to Andre. She smiles at me and extends her hand towards me.

"My name is Lindsy, I have Andre's geography class, and I'm assuming you're Tori right?" She asks, as I reach out and shake her hand.

"That was my line." I say, slightly embarrassed at having nothing to say as an introduction. She just laughs lightly.

"My bad." She says, smiling nervously at me. I shake my head slightly while giving her a reassuring smile.

"It's cool, I was just kidding." I reassure her, kind of wanting this awkward introduction to end. Not that she seems bad or anything, just nervous. I direct my attention back to Andre, wanting to get back to more comfortable grounds.

"So how has your Christmas break been going?" I ask, genuinely curious as to what my friends have been getting themselves into. He sighs heavily, dropping his head in an over exaggerated fashion.

"Girl, don't even get me started," He starts off with an exhausted look. _This has to be good._

* * *

"What'd I miss?" Jade asks while sitting down in the seat at the end of the table, between Andre and me.

"Hey Jade!" Cat greets from her spot on my other side. Jade nods her head in greeting towards our redheaded friend.

"Andre was just telling us about how he was trying to sneak out of his house the other night, but his grandma caught him and thought he was a burglar, so she started beating him with a pillow." Robbie informs Jade, answering her earlier question. Jade raises her pierced brow at Andre while in reply he simply nods his head with a mortified look on his face.

"And how exactly is a pillow supposed to stop a burglar?" She asks, voice skeptic and almost cruel. _Just like old times._

"I don't even know!" Andre exclaims, saying the same thing that he had when I had asked him the same question.

"I guess you could smother him with it." Cat suggests, sounding as if she hadn't actually meant to say that out loud. "One time my brother tried to smother-" Cat starts to say, before Andre, Jade, and I all yell Cat's name simultaneously, not wanting to hear about her psychotic brother at the moment.

"What's wrong with her brother?" Lindsy asks, not even knowing the multitude of answers that apply to that question. Jade's attention immediately snaps over to Lindsy as if she's just noticed her.

"Uh, who's this?" Jade asks, voice sounding cautious.

"Oh I'm sorry, my name's Lindsy." She answers, reaching over Andre to extend her hand towards Jade. Jade simply raises an eyebrow at her hand before slowly taking it in her hand and giving it one quick shake.

"Jade." She says, introducing herself. It might just be me, but it feels as if there's a blanket of awkwardness in the air once again. I clear my throat, preparing to try and interrupt the silence just as the waiter comes up to us.

"May I take your orders?" He asks, looking from each of us to see our replies. I'm just about to say yes, but Andre beats me to it, but with a different reply.

"Uh actually we're waiting for one more…" He states, looking from the waiter to me, and back to the waiter again. _Who else are we missing?_ I think about it as the waiter nods and walks off, and I can only think of one person.

"Harris, who's the 'one more'?" Jade asks, sounding angrier by the second. I'm about to beg Andre to tell me that it's not who I think it is, but I can't because I'm interrupted by a deep voice that I haven't heard in months.

"Lindsy?" Beck asks, sounding shocked and happy at the same time. Her face lights up as she whips her head around towards him.

"Beck!" She replies, all but jumping up from her chair to run over to him, enveloping him in a hug, her arms winding around his neck as he leans down and captures her lips in a kiss. I feel my eyes widen at the action and I turn back around to face Jade, her face is torn between shock, pain, and rage. I hear Beck and Lindsy walking back towards the table that's suddenly gone silent.

"Hey Beck!" Cat and Robbie greet at the same time, trying to either break the ice or they're just unaware of the conflict at the moment.

"Hey guys, how's it going?" He greets back as he takes the seat on Lindsy's other side, holding her hand as he does so.

"Uh, Andre was just telling us why he didn't inform us you were coming." I reply, wanting to know why he would keep something so significant a secret.

"Am I not welcome here anymore?" Beck asks, voice sounding defensive.

"It's not that at all, it just would've been nice to know." I answer, my voice taking on an edge I hadn't meant it to. He physically stiffens for a moment, but a second later he's slouching forward again as an awkward smile graces his face.

"Yeah, guess you're right. To be honest, I had no idea that you guys were going to be here either." He says, gesturing with his free hand towards me, then Jade-who's remained silent throughout this exchange, with her face being an unreadable mask.

"I didn't know you knew Lindsy." Andre says, almost like that would be an excuse to not inform us of who all was going to be here. _Jade's not over him, and she just had to watch him kiss her… Damn it Andre!_ I feel like ripping my hair out as Beck explains that he and Lindsy have English together, and they got paired up to write a story for their English exam, and it turned out that they had really liked each other, and here we are. When he finishes his story, everyone, save for Jade and I, hum in response while smiling for them. I want nothing more than to grab Jade's hand and drag her away from here, away from the pain this must be causing her. Suddenly I feel a pang of guilt as I recall that we wouldn't even be here if I hadn't begged her to accompany me.

"Oh, well, I mean, I didn't think that if I had told you who all was coming, that you would show up…" Andre admits, sadness and guilt evident in his voice. I'm just about to tell him that he still should have told us, but I'm interrupted by Jade's chair loudly scraping against the linoleum as she stands up.

"You were right; I wouldn't have." She says, her voice low and dangerous. Had she sounded like this before we were friends, I would have just thought that she was extremely mad, but now, I can hear the undercurrent of pain that's practically dripping from her words, and it kills me. She turns on her heels, and she's almost out of the door before anyone can register what just happened. I'm on my feet the next second, the only thing mattering to me being Jade. I run across the restaurant, desperate to catch up to her before she leaves. I push the door open, the cool night air hitting me like a wall, I frantically look around before I see the back of her figure rapidly retreating towards where her car must be.

"Jade! Jade wait!" I call out, speeding up my pace, hoping that I can reach her before she reaches her vehicle. "Jade!" I say as I grab her wrist from behind whilst trying to catch my breath.

"What?" She snaps, yanking her hand out of my grasp. The venom in her voice causes me to physically flinch back.

"I-I just wanted you to wait for me." I offer up lamely, just realizing that in my haste to catch her, I hadn't actually thought of what I was going to say. _"What's wrong?" " It'll be okay?" "Sorry you had to see Beck being all loving towards another girl just now. Oh wait, I know, do you want to go get some ice cream to make you feel better?" God, what do I say? _

"Get in the car." She commands, stepping around me to get to the vehicle that's parked there. _Well, at least I caught her in time... _She's already opening her door, so I hastily run around to the other side, partially afraid that she'll leave if I don't hurry. I clamber into my seat and fasten my seatbelt as quick as I can, not wanting to test her patience at the moment.

"Where-" I'm about to ask where we're going, but she holds up her right index finger.

"No talking." She says, dropping her hand to put the key in the ignition, turning it she brings the car's engine to life. She immediately reaches for the stereo knob, but instead of turning it to some rock station like I had assumed she would, she searches for a more laid back one. The one she settles on is playing a smooth, gentle song, and then she's putting the car in gear, backing us out of the parking lot, and taking off to someplace. I worry my bottom lip because for the first time in months… I don't know what the girl sitting next to me is going to do. I don't know what she's going to say. I don't know what I should say. I don't know what she wants to hear. More importantly, I don't know what she **needs** to hear. _I just don't know._

* * *

We're still driving. We've been driving for about three hours, and not a single word has been said. I've tried to build up the nerve to ask her something, anything really, but I couldn't bring myself to do the opposite of what she desperately had wanted, so silent I remained. I've gotten multiple texts from everyone, asking what had happened, if we were okay, and multiple apologies. I even got a few messages from a random number who I had later found out was Lindsy. I didn't answer any of them.

"You might want to text Dave and let him know we'll be a bit late." Jade suggests, breaking the semi-silence of the car. Her voice sounds calmer, but there is still so much pain in it. I nod my head, not knowing if she wants me to talk yet or not. As I type out the message, she sighs heavily. "You can say something Vega." She says, answering my unspoken question. A thousand questions come to mind, but I decide to settle with something that won't upset her- or at least I hope it won't.

"Where are we going?" I ask, my voice sounding too loud due to the quiet that had threatened to suffocate me moments ago.

"Nowhere actually… Do you need to go somewhere while we're out and about?" Jade asks, her usual voice flowing into her words more and more with each passing moment. _It's an act Tori, she's an actress, don't let her fool you._

"No, not really, thank you though." I answer, thinking of possible ways to start the conversation that I know she's dreading. She hums and nods her head in response. She reaches forward and changes the radio to a station that I like. A catchy tune flows through the speakers, and I know that she doesn't want to listen to that right now, but she simply smiles at me, trying to say that she's okay now. _Liar._ "Jade we need-" I start, about to say that we needed to talk about what happened, but again, she silences me by holding up her hand.

"N-Not now Tori. Sometime later, but, just not now." She says, the pain she's feeling showing in those words. It's enough to get me to nod at her, willing to let her take the time she wanted for this. "Thanks." She says, relief flooding her words. _I wonder how long "later" implies…_

* * *

"Goodnight Tori." Jade warns as she climbs under my blankets, her back to me. I pinch the bridge of my nose between my thumb and forefinger, gently messaging it to try and keep my emerging headache at bay.

"Jade, please, it's later and-" I start again, hoping to talk her into having this discussion with me.

"I said, 'goodnight Tori'." Jade states, and it's enough to get me to drop it, being able to detect the anger that's lying low in her tone. I sigh heavily in reply.

"Fine, goodnight Jade." I say, trying to keep my irritation at her stubbornness out of my tone. I take off my glasses and set them down on the nightstand next to my bed before climbing under the covers too. Jade refused to say anything about it the whole ride home-which was surprisingly not all that long since we had actually been relatively close to my house- and avoided the topic once we got home too. Now we're going to bed, and she still hasn't said anything about it. _Jade c'mon… Talk to me, I'm here, I can help._ I sigh heavily and roll over, putting my back to her. I know it's stupid to be mad at her for not talking to me, but I want to try and help. I've felt like she's been helping me so much lately, and she's always so strong and independent that she never needs help. Now that she does, she won't let me, and it irritates me beyond belief. I mean, I know we trust each other, that's a given-otherwise she wouldn't have told me about her childhood and all of that stuff- so I don't understand the problem. _She's so confusing sometimes… _ I sigh again, but more out of defeat than irritation. _She's confusing yeah, but I like her just the way she is, that's what makes her __**her**__. I shouldn't have pushed her to talk about it as much as I did… It wasn't very cool of me. _I think about turning over and apologizing, but I decide against it, not wanting to bring up anything that pertains to that subject again, until she willingly brings it up that is.

Suddenly I feel lonely, and maybe even a little angry. I hate the fact that she's still so affected by Beck. Why, I don't know, but I am. I'm honestly mad that I can't take her mind off of him, and I don't understand why- or even what I mean by it. I wish she would've been okay that he had a girlfriend; that she wouldn't have stormed off, if only for the fact that I was there with her. These thoughts are so odd and confusing that I genuinely debate whether or not I should ask someone to see if they made any sense, or if I was just losing my mind. But then I feel a pair of arms wrap around my waist, and they pull me into the warm embrace of my best friend. _Eh, I'm not getting up for anything now… Slipping sanity or not, I refuse to move. _I allow myself to relax back into her embrace, and suddenly I realize how horribly tired I am. It's not long before sleep overcomes me, forcing me to drown in nightmares, some flashing by, others forcing me to endure their entire lengths.

* * *

A/N: What? A random update? Could this be? Why yes, yes it could be, but on the other hand, it could be a mask, a figment of your imagination. So, riddle me this, which is it? I'm sorry, I just had to post this, late as it is, and I apologize for that. One of my acquaintances decided that my birthday would be a fabulous day to get in a huge argument with me and it really messed up my writing groove. So, I decided to just post this one late instead of waiting 'til Monday. Sorry for the delay, and I know this isn't one of the longer chapters, but the next one should make up for it I do believe. ~Anywho~ I want to thank everyone who's reviewed, favorite'd, and/or followed, it means the world to me! (Actually music does, but you guys are a close second!) :) Well, review, let me know what you think, happy reading of Jori, and stay sexy! ~Natt


	18. Chapter 18

_Sometimes toys break; even your favorite ones. Same thing for people too._

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Victorious (in case you were wondering) **

Jade's POV

_Damn him, damn him for still having so much control over me! _I internally curse, while washing Vega's coffee pot. I recall the events of last night, torturing myself with each detail. Tori had woken me up, and during our conversation, something happened, and I didn't know what to think of it- still don't actually. I reach forward to turn off the sink and then reach over to my right to retrieve the hand towel that's sitting there. I hadn't known what to do, so I had brought up the fact that we needed to get going if we were going to make it there in time. I had dropped her off at Nozu though because I wanted to give myself some space from her because I wasn't sure what I'd do if I didn't have any time to clear my head about the situation. I eventually went back though, and that was probably where I had messed up.

Her name is Lindsy, she's tall, blonde, friendly, and apparently not too bad at English. _And Beck's crazy about her._ I physically stiffen at the thought. _Beck's in love with someone else now… _I inhale a sharp breath, trying to keep the tears that I know want to fall at bay. I place the now dry coffee pot back in its place and then fold the hand towel and place it next to the sink. I grab my fresh cup of coffee and walk over to the dining room table, gently take a seat, and begin contemplating again.

I thought that when Beck had gotten a new girlfriend that I'd hate him for it, but I was wrong. I don't hate him, not even now, but I do hate how much control he still has over me. Honestly, I'm somewhat happy for him, I'm happy that he found someone who he could love full heartedly and who could return that. Not that I didn't love him with my whole being, but apparently it wasn't enough. After the scene at Nozu, while Tori and I were driving around last, I did nothing but pick apart all of my emotions to try and figure out what was going on. Even my emotions pertaining to Tori, I mean, I figured that might've been a good time for that too. Tori had respected my request for silence the whole ride, and I'd be a liar if I said that didn't mean something to me. Only now do I realize that I don't love Beck the way I used to. Well, no that's a lie, a tiny part of me does, but the majority of my heart doesn't belong to him anymore. But then I get to the same question that's eluded me for the entire night and this morning. _What changed?_ I sigh heavily, still not being able to come up with an answer. In fact, this question was what kept me from talking with Vega because I didn't want to get into this conversation with her without having all of the answers. I sigh dejectedly again.

"What's wrong?" Dave asks, startling me a little since I hadn't heard him coming down the stairs.

"Nothing, just enjoying this cup of coffee." I answer blandly, gesturing with my right hand towards the black mug held in my left. Dave hums in response as he digs in the fridge for something.

"Now how about you give me an honest answer?" He asks, sending me a smile as he does. I stare at the back of his head for a few moments before responding.

"How do you know that was a lie? I happen to love coffee, so the fact that I'm doing nothing except enjoying said cup is very believable." I retort, cocking a pierced eyebrow at him while donning my signature smirk.

"Because usually you're a bit more… Chipper in the morning." He replies as he turns back towards me with a jug of milk in his right hand. I roll my eyes at him.

"Only a Vega would use a positive term to describe me." I answer dryly, finding said people in question very odd at the moment.

"That's not necessarily true." He says while walking across the kitchen towards where the bowls are kept. "I've read certain reviews that raved about the, 'Talented young writer, Jadelyn West'." He replies, dropping his voice dramatically to quote the reviews. Despite myself, this draws a smile out of me.

"You and your daughter are both unbelievable." I murmur out, completely taken aback about how much I could see Tori doing exactly what her father just did. He just gives me a rowdy laugh in response. I quirk an eyebrow at him. "Someone's in an awfully good mood this morning?" I question and I don't miss how he stiffens slightly at the comment. He turns towards me, a sly smile on his face.

"Why, I have no idea what you're talking about." He dismisses, that smile never leaving his face, even as he walks towards the cupboards that hold the cereal with his bowl in hand.

"Oh whatever, liar. C'mon, spill, what has Dave Vega been up to?" I ask, sounding like a gossiping school girl.

"Hmm," Dave begins as he grabs a box of Lucky Charms, he quickly looks around the room as if there was a possibility of other people being around. He drops the box and bowl on the counter and quickly jogs over to the chair next to me. I roll my eyes at his childish behavior but it draws another smile out of me regardless. "Can you keep a secret?" He asks, voice sounding serious suddenly.

"Uh?" I ask, not understanding who I'm going to tell.

"You can't tell Tori or Trina." He informs, still sounding serious. _Oh…_

"Well, I mean, what aren't you telling them?" I ask, wondering what he's keeping from his daughters.

"I'm talking to someone." He says, almost sounding guilty about it.

"Oh my God, who?" I ask, not really believing the rebound this man has. _I've spent the last five months miserable because of a broken off relationship with my ex-boyfriend, and he's already talking to someone after just getting a __**divorce**__… I suck…_

"Her name is Elliot Baily, and we've actually meat before, but the circumstances weren't the best… Then we ran into each other in the mall, and she's a doctor and…" He says, trailing off, and suddenly his comment about the circumstances seems a little bit clearer.

"Dave, was she your mother-in-law's doctor?" I ask, almost hoping I was wrong. He gives me a sheepish grin, looking guilty, but still amused with the situation.

"Yes, but I mean, she couldn't help that, and she tried her hardest the entire time, I mean, what happened was not her fault. I'm just worried that Tori and Trina won't see it that way." He answers, sounding defeated at the end of the statement. I worry my bottom lip, honestly trying to see from their point of views. _I can't put myself in their shoes, although, a woman with a not so great first impression, suddenly being thrown into the picture so quickly after their mother was removed from said picture… I can't see her getting the welcoming committee from either of them._

"What does she look like?" I ask, not really knowing what to say about his daughters but knowing that someone in love's favorite subject is the person of their affections. As if to prove my point, his face brightens up instantly.

"She's about three inches shorter than me, she has red hair that she usually puts up in a sloppy bun or ponytail, and she probably doesn't weigh more than one-fifty, she's about my age, she wears glasses, and she's got really pretty blue eyes." He raves, sounding more and more excited with each thing he lists with a smile slipping more gradually onto his face until he's grinning like a love struck school boy. I laugh and shake my head at him.

"She sounds pretty Dave, I'm happy for you." I reply, wanting to be honest with him.

"Thanks Jade, but hey, I was wondering, and I need to ask you if you think it's a good idea or not, okay?" He asks, and I nod my head in response. "I don't like going behind the girls' backs, and so, I was wondering if you think Christmas would be a good time to break the news." He says, scanning my face for any traces of doubt for his plan. _Hmm, well, it'd definitely make it a more memorable Christmas… But is that necessarily a good thing?_

"Well, uh, I'm not too sure about that Dave, I mean, so much has changed this year, do you really think it'd be a good time to throw that curveball at them?" I ask, not really wanting to have a say in this because of how bad it could turn out. He contemplates this for a second before taking a deep breath.

"I have faith that they're strong enough and mature enough to handle this the right way." He answers, nodding his head determinedly.

"Then yeah, go ahead and do it." I reply, thinking that this might actually be better than letting them get comfortable then throwing this change at them the moment they do. He smiles at me in gratitude.

"Thanks," he says, but pauses at the end to let me know he wasn't done as he stands up. He walks over to where he abandoned his cereal and bowl, picks them up, and brings them back to the table where he had previously sat the milk down. "now that that's out of the way, will you answer my original question?" He asks, smiling at me again. _What the hell is talking about?_

"Uh, what question?" I ask while raising my coffee to my lips to take a drink, only to realize it's gone. _What? When the hell did that happen? Ugh…_ I quickly rise from my seat and walk towards the coffee pot to begin the process of brewing another pot.

"What was bothering you earlier?" He asks, turned around in his chair now so that his bowl of cereal is hanging off of the back of his chair while he looks up at me expectantly. I roll my eyes at him.

"Persistent aren't we?" I ask him, irritation evident in my voice. He only nods his head.

"Aww, c'mon Jade, I told you my secret!" He whines, reminding me more of a small boy who's been denied a new toy, than a city hardened police officer of the law.

"If I tell you, will you leave me alone?" I ask, my voice carrying more venom than I had meant it to. I see him physically flinch away from me. I sigh heavily. "Sorry Dave, just, it's bugging me pretty bad." I apologize, not really wanting to get in an argument with him since he's actually pretty cool. _Never thought I'd see the day where I thought one of Vega's parents was "cool"._

"It's fine, and yeah, if you tell me, I'll try to help, and if I can't, I'll let the subject drop. Deal?" He bargains, appealing to my obvious want to let the subject go. I mull this over for a few moments._ As soon as Tori wakes up, I'm going to go through the same thing with her, except she won't leave it alone… And if he can help me, then that means I won't have to tell Tori to drop it anyways… What do I have to lose?_ I sigh heavily in defeat, and Dave apparently can tell because he sits up and tries to hide the small grin that makes its way onto his face.

"Fine… Let my coffee finish first though." I answer, hoping that it will take as long as it usually does. Evidently this coffee pot hates me as it only seems to take a few seconds to finish. I begrudgingly pour myself a cup, add my two sugars, throw away the empty packets, grab a stirrer, and then I'm out of things to postpone this conversation any further. "Andre invited us out to Nozu last night because the gang was going to be there, and we haven't all properly hung out together in quite some time." I start off, Dave setting his bowl down about midway through my statement.

"Yeah, that's where y'all were last night. Right?" He asks, sounding slightly suspicious. I roll my eyes at him.

"Yeah Dave, Tori wouldn't lie to you about something like that and you know it." I argue, not believing he'd question her on that. He smiles and nods at me in response. "Anyways, we got there, and there was this girl there, her name's Lindsy, and she's really pretty, and friendly, and just, too perfect." I describe, getting irritated at having to think about this girl again.

"Uh, were you attracted to her? Is that the problem?" He asks, sounding genuinely curious, and almost… disappointed? I can't place his tone, so I discard the thought, but his question literally makes me want to throw up.

"Eww, God no! I don't even know her Dave, no." I reply, physically shivering in disgust.

"Okay, my bad, I apologize, I was just wondering." He apologizes, looking somewhat relieved. I take a drink of coffee to calm myself before replying.

"We'll get through this a lot faster if you don't ask questions until the end Dave." I comment, suddenly missing talking to Tori since she's always seemed to know this about me. _Beck was always bad about that too… He would always interrupt me to ask questions, and more often than not, it would annoy me to the point where I'd just stop talking to him altogether. _I shrug my shoulders to dispel the Beck related thoughts, instead needing to focus on Dave and our conversation right now.

"Alright, I will try my hardest to keep all questions 'til the end." Dave replies, wanting me to continue obviously. I nod my head at him and take another drink of coffee to give myself time to remember where I left off.

"Okay, so anyways, that chick's there, and everything is going okay I guess, until the waiter comes up. He asks if we're ready to order, blah, blah, blah, the usual. Well, it's then that Andre says we're actually expecting 'one more'." I finish, making air quotes with my hands as I say the last two words. "Sat there for a second thinking about who it could be, and there was really only one person he could've been talking about, so then I asked him who. Right as he's about to tell us, Beck's voice breaks into the conversation." I say, preparing myself for the emotional rollercoaster that this conversation is about to turn into.

"Sorry to interrupt, but Beck is your ex correct?" Dave asks, sounding a little scared at having to interrupt me. I smirk at him and nod my head.

"That'd be him. Anyways, Beck addresses Lindsy, and she flips out, runs over to him and then they kiss right there in front of everyone. Needless to say, I felt jealous, furious, shocked, and a multitude of other emotions that I didn't even know were actual emotions. Then we got to hear the beautiful story of how they met and after that Andre tried saying that he thought that if he had told us who all was coming, that we wouldn't have actually gone. I told him he was right, and left. Tori came after me, we got in my car, drove around so that I could think, eventually came home, and then went to bed." I finish, being as vague as possible in order to save time.

"And I'm assuming that Tori tried talking to you since she's Tori right?" Dave asks with a small smile, knowing his daughter all too well. I nod my head, smiling sadly at the memory of how desperately she had wanted to talk about it. "But you didn't, did you?" He asks, the smile fading from his face. I frown in reply.

"No I didn't, much to her distain, but I just- I didn't want to get in this conversation with her because I won't be able to answer all of her questions. That's why I'm talking to you right now, so that maybe you can help me get the answers I'll need for her." I answer almost cringing at having to say 'help me', but more than willing to go through this for Tori. He nods his head slowly, as if trying to process everything.

"Jade, you're not a very open person, that's not hard to see, so I have to ask why you're willing enough to talk to me- a somewhat friend- about something that's so obviously bothering you." He somewhat asks, irritating me slightly because I don't really know. I take a few moments to think of my answer, quietly sipping on my beverage to stall. I sigh heavily.

"I don't know… I know that it kills her that I won't talk to her about this, and I just want to be able to, but I can't if I don't have all the answers already on hand." I respond, not being able to come up with anything better.

"So, for her?" He asks, a small grin on his face. I worry my bottom lip before answering.

"Yeah, I guess that sounds about right." I reply, not understanding what he's getting at.

"Okay then, well, first of all, what do you think now about having to see Lindsy and Beck kiss?" He asks suddenly, catching me off guard. I have to pause to think of my response again.

"Like I said, I was furious, shocked, but mainly jealous but-" I cut myself off, not knowing how I'm going to finish the sentence.

"But?" Dave prompts, leaning forward slightly.

"But, the more and more I think about it, the only reason I felt that way was because it was old habit. I mean, I had three years of getting jealous if Beck so much as looked at another girl, so I guess it was only natural that I felt that way. But, like I said, I wasn't really feeling those emotions, I just thought I was… Does that make any sense or am I just rambling?" I ask, wanting to make sure that I don't sound like a babbling idiot. He nods his head slowly.

"No, you're making sense. You saw them together, got jealous out of habit, realized that you aren't actually jealous, but… I don't see why you can't talk about this to Tori." He replies, sounding almost as confused as I feel.

"I'm not jealous of him, but that doesn't mean I haven't spent the last five months thinking about him constantly, missing him, and honestly hoping that we might've gotten back together… So, what I'm having trouble figuring out, is what changed. Why am I suddenly okay with him moving on?" I ask, my irritation for the subject shining clearly through my voice. Dave smiles at me suddenly, and I'd be a liar if I didn't say it irritated the shit out of me.

"You moved on Jade, that's what changed." He answers, sounding wiser in years suddenly. I quirk an eyebrow at him.

"Uh, not to burst your bubble Dave, but I was literally thinking about him," I pause to think of the time, "yesterday morning, so I'm not exactly sure if you're on the money with that." I reply, thinking that he's completely lost his mind.

"Jade, I'm going to say a couple of words, and I want you to honestly just say the first thing that comes to mind, okay?" He asks, confusing me even further. I groan in reply, but eventually give my head a reluctant nod. "Love." He says.

"Confusing." I reply instantly.

"Heartbreak." He replies.

"Painful." I answer immediately.

"Jealousy." He says, voice sounding slightly amused.

"Justifiable." I reply, not exactly sure where he's going with this.

"Beautiful." He tries.

"Brown." I answer without thinking. _Brown?_

"Brown." He replies, smiling slightly.

"Eyes." I answer, again without thinking.

"Beautiful brown eyes." He says, dropping the one word at a time thing.

"Tori." I respond, biting my lip after I do. _What the hell?_

"Tori." He says, smiling even bigger now.

"Confusing." I say even though there's so many more words that come to mind at hearing her name.

"Confusing." He says, wearing a full-fledged smile now.

"Love…" I respond, confusing myself in the process. He nods his head happily at me.

"Moved on." He says, voice sounding almost proud of me.

"I love Tori?" I try, wondering if I really do. _Did I fall for her? _

"Do you?" He asks, sounding somewhat worried. I mull this over for a few seconds. _She's beautiful, sometimes funny, smart, caring, flawed, and she has this power over me that no one ever has before… Not even Beck. _I try to swallow around the lump that's formed in my throat. I open my mouth to respond, but I can't make any words come out of my mouth, so I simply nod my head instead. Dave smiles at me. "Let me hear you say it." He says.

"I- I love Tori." I say, tasting the words for anything foul, but finding nothing.

"See that wasn't so hard now was it?" He asks, still smiling at me. His smile falters a bit for a moment though. "Hey, I'm not going to have to make it a rule that you can't stay over am I? Believe it or not, I enjoy our little morning talks." He asks, sounding almost timid about the subject. I don't even know what to say to that.

"Dave, just because I love her, doesn't mean that she loves me back, and no, you won't have to make that a rule." I answer, for the first time thinking of Tori this way. _I love her. Now that I think about it, I love her a lot. _Dave rolls his eyes at me.

"She loves you too, you two were just being a little dense is all." He answers, sounding as if he was trying to convince a child that Santa wasn't real.

"But, I mean, what do I do?" I ask, suddenly really worried about having to talk to Tori. _I think I preferred not having the answers to this…_

"You go in there, and you sweep her off her feet Jade. You're a writer; use your imagination a bit." Dave comments as he gets up from his chair to go to the fridge. "Keep it PG though." He tacks on, and I can tell that he's not even remotely joking.

"Wait, so, you actually approve of this- of, me?" I ask, just realizing his implications, and then I think back to yesterday when he had seemed okay with it, jokingly though. He heaves a heavy sigh in response.

"You're a nice girl Jade, as much as it probably pains you to hear, you are, and I can tell. You're not a loser who's going to affect her future in a negative way, you're not going to get her pregnant, and you genuinely care for her. So yes, I approve." He answers, leaning back against the fridge about midway through his statement. I think about telling him that I'm not nice, but I decide it wouldn't be worth the small conflict to do so.

"Thanks Dave. For everything." I tack on, knowing that I owe that man more than I should, but at the same time, being too reserved with people and emotions to actually do something about my debt. He smiles at me from across the kitchen.

"Go get her Jade, make her happy." He says, still smiling. I rise from the chair and take a deep breath. I turn to walk towards the stairs. I'm about halfway up them before Dave says something that makes me miss a step. "PG!" He yells from the kitchen. I smile at him, but don't respond, I just keep ascending the stairs that I know are leading to a life changing event. _Alright… Here we go, I can do this, I can do this… I can't do this._ I decide, coming to stop just in front of Tori's door. _Can I do this? I mean, what if it turns out like another thing with Beck?_ I think about the pain of that, but without being able to fall back on Tori, and I'd be a liar if I said that the thought didn't scare the shit out of me. I shake my head defiantly. _She's not Beck, nor has she ever been. She's always had something that's set her apart from everyone else… She's always been special, even when we were enemies; I respected her enough to call her that instead of, "the dirt beneath my boots"._ I take a deep breath, and prepare myself for whatever is about to happen. I hurriedly open the door, knowing that if I waited too long I'd probably talk myself out of it.

She's lying on her side, her back to me. Her brunette hair is fanned out behind her, and I can just imagine the case of bedhead she's going to have this morning. I smile to myself as I realize that I genuinely do love this girl. I take another deep breath and walk over to the bed and gingerly crawl into with her. I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her close to me. She stirs in her sleep and makes something akin to a mewling sound. I roll my eyes at her.

"Hey, Vega, wake up." I say as I shake her a bit. She only rolls over within the confines of my arms so that we're facing each other now. "If you don't wake up in the next ten seconds, I'm going to cut off half of your hair." I threaten as I shake her a little harder this time. She groans and brings up a hand to rub her eyes.

"Mmm, Jade?" She groggily asks, making me roll my eyes again.

"Do you wake up in bed with other people?" I ask, smirking at her despite her not being able to see it due to her closed eyes. She groans again while lightly hitting my shoulder with her left hand.

"Shut it, it's too early for banter." She complains, apparently being too tired to come up with a decent comeback.

"Is not, it's like ten in the morning, I've been up since nine, but someone is a very lazy person who always sleeps in." I retort, knowing that in all reality her sleeping in is a miracle because of her nightmares. She just grins at me.

"Whatever, the only reason you get up is because of your caffeine addiction." She argues, making a very valid point.

"Alright, I'll give you that one, Ms, 'it's too early'." I reply, drawing another light hit from her.

"What's for bre- wait! Jade!" Tori suddenly yells, scaring me slightly, but I don't show it because I shouldn't be scared by a little loud noise. Her eyes snap open and I'm suddenly drowning in chocolate. "Last night, we need to talk about it." Tori pleads, all playfulness gone from her voice. I want to tell her that we can, but I can't get out of the trance her eyes have put me under. "Jade, please?" Tori begs, sounding too incredibly sad for this early in the morning.

"We couldn't talk last night because I didn't have all the answers, but now I do, so, if you want to talk, then let's talk." I manage to answer. She closes her eyes as she take a deep breath.

"What happened?" She finally asks, opening her eyes and I just can't help it this time.

"I moved on." I reply before I press my lips against hers, losing myself in the feeling. _I love this girl, a lot a lot. _I decide as I feel her hand travel up into my hair as she kisses me back. _A lot._

A/N: AH! Finally! The first kiss! It's about damn time -_- Anyways, here's this chapter, have it, read it, enjoy it, make sweet love to it, oh wait, no nevermind that's kinda weird. Don't do that last thing, instead, you should review it! ;D (I need more sleep if you can't tell.) Well, I need to thank everyone who's reviewed, favorite'd, and/or followed. The fact that you take the time out of your day to not only read the chapter, but then to let me know what you thought of it; it means a lot to me, so that's why I have to include a thanks :) Enough of my rambling, have a good Monday (as if), I hope you enjoyed the chapter, and stay sexy ~Natt


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